Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard have two daughters, five-year-old Lincoln and three-year-old Delta. On talk shows, the actress has been open about her adventures in mothering, sharing honest, hilarious stories that every parent can relate to. For example, during an appearance on Today, Kristen admitted that sometimes she lies to her kids about their birthdays. "If it's on like a Wednesday and we can't celebrate and we're both working late, then guess what, your birthday is on Saturday," she confessed. "They don't know."
Recently Kristen appeared on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert to promote her sitcom The Good Place. She revealed that her three-year-old is starting to ask some tough questions: "Is Santa Claus real? Who made dogs? Why is Earth?" Deep stuff! I bet Kristen asks the same questions every time she smokes weed. But it's not all silly questions - sometimes Delta says something sinister.
"Our three year old is nuts, man. she's nuts. Sometimes she tells me she's going to kill me, truly," said Kristen. "If I tell her, like, 'Okay, that's a wrap on the candy bar,' or whatever, she'll go, 'Well, I'm going to get a gun and kill you and I only like daddy. And then she'll just leave the room."
"I know it sounds really bad that my child threatens to kill me, but, like, she doesn't have a gun, so I feel like it's not a real threat," the Frozen star continued. "Sure, everything sounds great," quipped Stephen. (To see the exchange, skip to 3:39 in the video below.)
Well, if Delta is plotting to kill her mother, like Stewie in early episodes of Family Guy, then maybe it's revenge for a 'controversial' trick. While speaking with Parents Magazine last March, Kristen disclosed a problem with Delta's sleeping habits. "My 3-year-old decided to stop sleeping about nine months ago. And every night, when we put her to bed, she turns the lights on, which annoys the 4-year-old, and she will move furniture, and she bangs on the door with different, hard toys."
Luckily, she found a solution, which sparked a backlash from judgmental parents on social media. "We switched the door knob. We turned the lock on the outside, Kristen asserted. "I’m sorry, I know that’s controversial, but we lock it when she gets in there, and we stand outside and say, ‘We love you, we will talk to you in the morning, but now, it’s time for sleep.’ And after about 10 minutes, she’ll wind herself down. And then, before we go to bed, obviously, we unlock it."
Maybe the three-year-old got wise to this cunning scheme? Kristen, I know she don't have a gun, but you might want to start wearing a bulletproof best, just in case. As Stephen Colbert once said on his old show, The Colbert Report: "Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
