Warning: This article contains details about pregnancy loss.
Chrissy Teigen recently opened up about an experience in which she saw her late son Jack.
Taking to Instagram on December 1, the 38-year-old told her 42.7 million followers that she had undergone ketamine therapy as part of this year's birthday celebrations.
"I had a really nice birthday," Teigen started. "Went to see my friends @flamingo_estate, had a beautiful lunch with friends, then did ketamine therapy and saw space and time and baby jack and some weird penguins and cried and cried and cried."
"Then laid with my babies, then hot pot, then hung with my best friend," she added.
Alongside the caption, the model posted a series of photos posing with her husband, her children as well as her friends.
While the celebrations seemed to be fun and exciting, fans took the comments to question why Teigen's choice of birthday activity. However, others were quick to slam the model's critics, such as this Instagrammer, who hit back with: "Why is everyone commenting ketamine related stuff instead of wishing her a happy birthday? Such a way to diminish struggles and be senseless."
Others even went on to wish that they could undergo the same type of treatment saying: "I wish ketamine treatments were covered by insurance. It's a shame people it's not. It not affordable for a lot of people..."
And this user was also on board with the idea writing: "I wish I could afford ketamine treatments for my schizoaffective disorder."
Teigen has been candid and open about the impact of losing baby Jack, who tragically passed away in September 2020.
Just a month later, the star opened up about the rollercoaster that is healing after such a traumatic event as well as the hate she received for sharing such a vulnerable moment.
In an essay posted to Medium, Teigen slammed the trolls that criticized her for sharing the photos of Jack's delivery.
"I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos," she wrote. "How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done. I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me."
She then talked about how it feels to endure something so heartbreaking in the public eye.
"I feel bad our grief was so public because I made the joy so public," she continued. "I was excited to share our news with the world. Stories leading up to this had been chronicled for all. It’s hard to look at them now. I was so positive it would be OK. I feel bad that I made you all feel bad. I always will."
Elsewhere she talked about the small pockets of love she's also recieved and how this has impacted her journey towards healing.
"People say an experience like this creates a hole in your heart," she wrote in the essay. "A hole was certainly made, but it was filled with the love of something I loved so much. It doesn’t feel empty, this space. It feels full.
"The moments of kindness have been nothing short of beautiful," she added, before going on to reveal some particular moments that left her feeling extremely loved.
"I went to a store where the checkout lady quietly added flowers to my cart. Sometimes people will approach me with a note. The worst part is knowing there are so many women that won’t get these quiet moments of joy from strangers. I beg you to please share your stories and to please be kind to those pouring their hearts out. Be kind in general, as some won’t pour them out at all," she added.
Since Jack's passing, Chrissy and John have welcomed two more children to their family - Esti and Wren.
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