Elliot Page has opened up about his life before transitioning, stating that he "didn't know how much longer he would last."
In a new interview with Jay Shetty on his podcast On Purpose, the 35-year-old actor discussed his life pre-transition, admitting it was difficult to complete everyday tasks knowing he was not living his truth.
"For significant periods of my life, I struggled to function on a pretty basic level, it was hard for me to literally sit down, it was hard for me to be productive, for me to be present at all," Page said. "I couldn't see the future because I didn't know how much longer I would last feeling that way."
The former Umbrella Academy star also noted that he thought continuing to live life in that manner and looking towards the future was "impossible" adding that he had to have many difficult conversations with his manager about the prospect of being blacklisted from Hollywood if he was ever to come out properly.
"Pre-transition I always had a sense of wanting to flee," Page told Shetty as he reflected on how this drove him to put emphasis on his love life.
"[In my] relationships in my past, I was selfish because I would fall in love just so I could have a moment to breathe," he said.
However, the 35-year-old's perspective on love and commitment has changed because he has become more comfortable with being alone.
"I feel exhilarated by the fact that I can be alone. I'm very much enjoying connecting with people, maybe having some fun, but sort of just being on my own right now," he explained.
He also confirmed that he was single at the moment.
Elsewhere in the interview, Page said that his relationship with acting was "so much better" now that he had transitioned.
"Literally everything in my life is better now," the actor stated. "There's this ability to just exist every day on set and just be on my body."
Watch the full interview below:The Juno star previously opened up about how becoming an active voice for the transgender community was difficult for him due to the pressures the title came with.
"It can be daunting and lonely in that you don’t want to let people down," he told AnOther. "I think Laverne Cox said it well [when she] referred to herself as a 'possibility model,' [by just] being a trans person out in the world, existing and loving who you are."
He continued: "I mostly just feel honored if anything I’m doing helps anyone, or in any way makes them feel seen or reflected or slightly less alone. I know how much that’s meant to me in my life."
When asked if he has any advice for other young people currently struggling with self-acceptance, he said it all starts with letting go of the negative emotions that come with feeling disconnected from your own body.
"I feel like right now it’s just so brutal," he admitted, emphasizing each word to the interviewer. "One thing I keep coming back to, which I wish I had known and felt and could have embraced a long time ago, is that the shame that you might be carrying – or the embarrassment, or pain or discomfort that is manifesting in your mind and body because of that – is not yours. It’s theirs."
"You know who you are, so do not let other people’s projections affect that," he continued before adding: "You just need to love yourself and hold onto yourself. You are a special, magical person who deserves to live and thrive. The shame is not yours, it’s theirs."
We're glad to see Page living his best and truest life.
