Mia Khalifa has opened up about how her career in the adult entertainment industry has affected the relationships in her life, including with her family.
The 29-year-old appeared on an episode of BBC's HARDtalk where she spoke about how she got into p*rn, explaining that it was a result of wanting to "rebel."
"I shocked even myself," she told the interviewer, Stephen Sackur, who then proceeded to ask her whether her family had any idea what she was doing when she first started.
"No... And they disowned me when they found out."
She continued: "I felt completely alienated by not just the world, but my family and the people around me. Especially after I quit, when I was still alone, even though I left. And I just realized some mistakes aren't forgivable.
"But time heals all wounds, and things are getting better now."
Khalifa, whose real name is Sarah Joe Chamoun, rose to stardom in her early twenties after participating in a highly controversial sex scene in which she was seen wearing a hijab while performing sexual acts. The film ended up going viral and as a result of sexualizing the religious head garment, Khalifa was subjected to intense backlash, which included death threats from ISIS.
"They photo-shopped a picture of me being beheaded and threatened that that would happen to me. It does worry me but I try not to show it, because you can't show weakness," she told Sackur.
"That's exactly what they're looking for. I really try and just make it look like it rolls off, but I'll admit, it gets to you after a while."
In the same interview, Khalifa admitted that she knew the scene would cause an uproar but did it anyway due to "intimidation" tactics used against her.
"I verbatim told them, 'You guys are going to get me killed.'
"I was scared. I knew that if I said no, it would... you know, they're not going to force you to do it, at that point that's rape. No one is going to force you to have sex. But I was still scared..."
She continued: "I mean, have you ever felt scared to... not scared, but nervous to speak up and say something at a restaurant when your food's not right, and the waiter comes by and says, 'How is everything?' I was intimidated, I was nervous."
While the OnlyFans star apologized to people who wear glasses for sexualizing the look, she has yet to address how her actions affected Muslim women who wear the hijab.
This isn't the first time the former adult entertainer has spoken out about her previous career before becoming a social media personality.
Khalifa has previously also spoken out about how manipulative the industry can be, telling the Daily Beast that she was approached when she was at her most vulnerable.
"I was approached at a very vulnerable point in my life," she said. "I went back and shot a scene, and it was terrifying and temporarily validating, but afterwards I felt a little empty.
"Though I still had that pit in my stomach where I wanted to chase that validation again… I think what made me go back and do it again was the attention I was receiving, I was afraid it would go away if I didn’t do what I was asked to do."
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