Obviously, the idea of anything falling on your penis is horrible. Anyone who’s ever suffered an unexpected blow downstairs knows that the lightest brush can be enough to have you doubling over in agony. However, when it comes to dick-related horror stories, legendary strongman Eddie Hall has got us all beat.
In an interview with The Mirror, the 31-year-old nicknamed “The Beast” revealed how once, in the middle of a particularly heavy training session, he suffered the ignominy of having his penis crushed by weights. As he explained to a presumably horrified interviewer:
“I piled a load of heavy weights on a leg-press machine and then heard a loud thud. It had come crashing down and the weights had landed on my penis. I nearly bled to death”
“It was bad. The worst ever. I didn’t cry for help though. I just lifted them off, drove myself to hospital and got stitched up. I was back training soon enough.”
For Hall, who won the World’s Strongest Man award in 2017 after a 500kg deadlift, the difficulties associated with maintaining a monster physique are not limited to accidentally squashing your genitals. As he went on to explain in his interview, even travel is an issue, stating:
“I've broken a few sofas in my time. I plonk myself down on my friends' sofas and often they split straight down the middle. I have a custom-made, heavy-duty bed at home, but I've broken my fair share of hotel beds, too.”
"It has to be first class on trains, business class on planes - I don't fit in an economy seat. I drive the largest car I could get in the UK, a Ford Ranger pick-up. Even that's a squeeze."
While forcing yourself to fit into a seat that’s slightly too small must be uncomfortable, we imagine that dropping weights on your willy helps prepare you for life’s small inconveniences.