A mom has revealed that she is kicking her pregnant daughter out of her house after her grandchild's arrival.
The parent, who is in a tough spot, took to Reddit's popular "Am I The A***ole?" sub-platform to seek advice for a query that has left many people divided.
The woman, known as notinmyhouse123, asked users if she'd be an "a**hole" for making her pregnant 17-year-old child move out of her house. The reason? Well, she wants to enjoy her retirement baby-free.
She began her post by revealing that her daughter is seven weeks pregnant, and is not in a relationship with the father of her baby. "He reeaallyyy, I can't stress this enough, does not want a baby. I honestly don't even think he'll show up for the birth or anything," she wrote.
The unnamed teenager decided to continue with her pregnancy "against all advice from practically every adult in her life," which led to her mom asking her how she plans to raise a newborn as a single mother.
But this question led to tensions between the mother and daughter as the teen stated that she plans to work after her infant's birth, and is hoping that her parents would take on caregiving responsibilities. However, the mother opposed the idea of raising another child at her stage of life.
"Her: I'll get a job. Me: who's going to watch baby while you're at work? Her: I thought you and Dad could. Me: absolutely not, I'm not raising another baby," she wrote. "Pretty much a back and forth for a bit that [led] me to believe that if she has this baby in this house, I'm practically going to be its mother."
The mom explained that she has no plans to raise her grandchild because she's recently retired while her husband is also on the road to retirement. "This is not how I want to spend my retirement years. It's not fair to us," she stated. "My husband has always been wrapped around her finger (which normally is endearing; I love how much he loves our children), so he is not fully on board with that, but I feel like we need to be united on this."
Therefore, the mother issued an ultimatum to her teen daughter, telling her that she must find her own place before the baby arrives in the next few months. "I just want to know if I’m in the wrong here?" she asked.
The post sparked a debate in the comment section, with many criticising the adolescent soon-to-be mom, and defending the mother's right to safeguard her retirement.
One commenter sympathized with the mother's stance, writing: "You can be upset she wants to keep the baby but that’s ultimately not your or ‘every other adult in her life’s’ choice to make. I think you’re correct that she is assuming you will be more of a caretaker than you’d like to and maybe isn’t thinking things through, as a normal teenager."
"I don’t think you’re [the a***ole] if you are supportive [of] her decision without letting her take advantage of you. Perhaps you can help her find some community or government programs that can help you and your future grandchild out," she added.
Another echoed the same sentiment, penning: "She chose to go through this pregnancy and if she is mature enough, in her mind, to be a mom then she is mature enough to figure out her situation."
"I don’t mean that you shouldn’t help out when you can but to assume that you will be always available for her to watch the child while she works is unreasonable and shows how little she has planned for this," they concluded.
Others emphasized the daughter's predicament, with a user stating: "[You're the A***ole]. Just don’t be offended when she doesn’t want you in your grandchild's life once she finds her footing. She’s 17 years old, still a child, and you’re refusing to help her?"
Someone else chimed in: "At a time when your daughter would need her mom and family the most, you're giving her no choice to but to sink or swim... all with your grandchild in tow."
"Why couldn't you give her at least a year after the baby is born?" they asked. "That way she has emotional support at home and a safe roof over her head during her first pregnancy at such a young age...I mean, she's not even a legal adult yet, and [you're] ready to throw her out."
After seeing everyone's comments, OP clarified that she will spend the next seven months helping her daughter find a job and affordable housing and be of assistance to her. But she reiterated: "I just will not raise this baby."
Do you guys think the mom is wrong for kicking her daughter out after the birth of her grandchild? Share your thoughts.
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