A dad has turned to the internet to ask for some advice after his fiancée revealed that she doesn't want his daughter at their wedding.
Posting to Reddit's 'Am I An A**hole?' thread, the concerned father opened up about a "controversial" decision he made after his soon-to-be-wife revealed that she doesn't want his daughter at their wedding because she won't "fit the part."
"I (45m) have a daughter (P) from a previous relationship," he wrote. "I divorced my ex-wife on good terms and we share 50/50 custody of P. She is now 11. After I divorced my ex-wife I met my now [fiancée] (S)."
The pair dated for five years and during that time, he was glad to see that she got along well with his daughter.
He then proposed and S said yes, so the pair started planning their big day together.
"S was super excited and wanted to start planning right away," he continued in the thread. "She looked at venues and started asking her friends to be her bridesmaids. She then told me she wanted her niece to be a flower girl. Which I had no problem with, but I said I also wanted P to be a flower girl. S looked at [me] funny and then said that she didn’t think that P would 'fit the part.'"
Understandably, the man was angry at the remark.
"I got angry and told S that my daughter would be at our wedding," he said. "S started to become upset and said that the girls in the wedding were up to her and P wouldn’t be one of them. I told S that if P wasn’t in the wedding then there might not be a wedding. I stormed out and took P to get ice cream."
Things only got worse when his soon-to-be mother-in-law texted him saying that he was "overreacting" and that his daughter "doesn't need to be at the wedding", even going as far as referring to him as an "a**" for suggesting that he would cancel the wedding over the issue.
He concluded the post by asking: "So did I take it [too] far saying I will cancel? Am I overreacting or just being a good dad?"
Thankfully Reddit users were not impressed with the fiancée's reaction, with many branding her as a "red flag."
"This is a big red flag," wrote one user. "If she doesn't want to include her step daughter in her wedding then don't expect she will include your daughter in her life..."
"NTA- props to you for standing up for your daughter, that’s exactly what a good dad should do," another added. "Your [fiancée] is trying to diminish your daughter’s role in your wedding. I’d be concerned that’ll carry over to other parts of your life too. Whatever bulls*** she means by her not 'fitting the part,' sends up huge red flags to me too."
A third also urged the man to be "careful" writing: "S just showed you her true feelings for P. You want the people who mean the most in your wedding. The fact that your fiancée, who I’m guessing is younger than you and this will be her first marriage, doesn’t think your daughter fits that description is extremely telling to me."
"Even if S gives in, you’ve now seen where your daughter rates in her potential stepmother’s life. If you choose to ignore this, it won’t be the last time your daughter is left on the outside looking in," they added.
In an update, the heartbroken father revealed that S had plans for him to give up part of his custody over his daughter and this has now made him re-think the entire relationship with her.
What do you think?
