Grandmother refuses to meet her great-granddaughter unless baby's parents change her name

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By Kim Novak

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Having a new baby join the family is usually a joyous time, but occasionally family issues can somewhat ruin the moment.

One mother found out the hard way after she revealed the name of her baby to her grandmother - who hated it so much she refused to meet the child until its name was changed.

Yes, really.

The 27-year-old mom took to Reddit's 'Am I The A**hole' forum to reveal exactly what happened when she proudly introduced her daughter to her grandmother.

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Baby names can be divisive at the best of times. Credit: Getty Images

She began: "I (27F) gave birth to me and my husbands (31M) first child almost two months ago. She’s a perfect little girl and I was so excited to have my family meet her."

The mom revealed that she has three older sisters who all have children of their own and that their family has a "fun tradition" to host a small gathering once the baby is two or three months old where the baby is given a series of little gifts with their name on - and the name is kept a secret until after the child is born.

She explained: "At the little party we give the parents a bunch of little gifts that have the new baby’s name on them. My grandmother always quilts a beautiful baby blanket and embroiders the baby’s name. She’s done this for all my sisters and cousins. The issue is the name my husband and I chose for our daughter."

The woman revealed that her grandmother had had issues with her own name, having been christened Lucille, but began telling everyone that her name was Barbara from when she was eight years old, eventually having it legally changed.

She added: "When I was a child I always asked her why she changed it. She simply said she liked Barbara better. It became a family joke, but she never seemed upset about it and always laughed with us."

The mom added that her husband's grandmother had been the one to raise him from when he was born until her death when he was 19, and her partner misses her very much and wanted to "honor her in some way".

The man's gran's favorite celebrity was Lucille Ball, with the pair of them having watched the show I Love Lucy together all the time, so the couple decided to name their newborn 'Lucy' in her memory.

"Her name was Mary but we chose to have that as our daughters middle name. We decided that Lucy is a name we both loved and would honor his grandmother and maybe make mine chuckle a bit," the woman wrote.

The proud parents decided to announce their daughter's name on a FaceTime call with the whole family after she was born and while a few of their relatives "laughed and said it was cute", the woman's grandmother remained "dead silent".

"When I asked her what was wrong she demanded to know why I chose Lucy," the mom revealed. "I was shocked and confused. I began to try and explain but she suddenly hung up. This greatly dampened the mood.

"My grandma wouldn’t answer any calls from me afterwards. I asked my oldest sister and she said that my grandma was apparently offended and thought we were mocking her.

"She said she’s not coming to the party in a few weeks to meet my daughter in person and that she’s not giving the baby quilt to us unless we apologize and change our daughters name."

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The woman's grandmother did not react well to the name. Credit: Getty Images

The shocked mom admitted: "I don’t know why it’s escalated so much. My grandma has always been kind. I have no idea what to do.

"Births in my family are always celebrated and happy events but this has ruined it. I almost feel like some of my relatives are ignoring me because they don’t want to 'pick sides' but I don’t even understand why there’s a fight.

"Dealing with this along with my newborn has been incredibly stressful. My family is puzzled as well but most of them are saying I shouldn’t have chosen a name I knew my grandmother disliked or at least asked her about it first."

She then asked users to determine if she was the 'a**hole' in the situation, to which they responded: "There's trauma there that grandma isn't sharing. But that's her issue, not yours. NTA [not the a**hole]."

Others added: "You asked her why she didn’t like her original name, all she said was she liked Barbara better. She never gave you any indication there was a major reason she disliked it. I think Lucy is a cute variation of Lucille. I also think your grandmother is being ridiculous. If this is the hill she wants to die on, that’s her choice. NTA."

Another added: "NTA, my own grandmother did not speak to my mother for 6 months over my name. Sorry to hear of this situation for you. I can only say time will heal it in the long run."

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She is planning to apologize and mend her relationship with her grandmother. Credit: Getty Images

One remained on the fence, believing nobody was entirely out to hurt the other in this situation: "I'm apt to say NAH. I think Grandma is hiding trauma so while her behavior isn't okay, I'm reluctant to label her an A. You're definitely not in the wrong."

The mom later updated her post to add more context, revealing that she had never really given much thought to why her grandmother had wanted to change her name as she was only ever told she "liked Barbara better".

She admitted: "Now I feel like an idiot. I honestly never intended to hurt her feelings. I never even considered that she changed it for any deeper reason than just an aesthetic preference. I don’t know too much specifically about any childhood trauma with her, but I do know her dad passed away when she was about 6 years old so maybe that has something to do with it?"

The mom confirmed she was not going to ask her grandma to elaborate to save her from having to "open any more old wounds" and is planning to write her a handwritten note to apologize.

She admitted that she was not sure whether to change her baby's name or not but her priority was getting into contact with her gran and fixing their relationship first.

Featured image credit: Getty Images