Dad sparks debate on 'toxic masculinity' after telling his teenage son to 'man up' and stop crying

A debate on toxic masculinity has broken out on social media after a teenage boy revealed his father told him to "man up".

The 16-year-old took to the social media site Reddit under the handle @imaginehavingIFunny to share his story, explaining that he had been crying after failing to secure a place on a soccer team.

"I was pretty upset at the whole thing and I told my friends about it," he writes. "Obviously I didn't cry in front of them because I didn't want them to worry about me. I told my [16-year-old girlfriend] about it and she was really sweet and comforted me about it."

The teenager explains that he continued to get upset about missing out on the team and continued to cry at home.

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After being comforted by his sister and his mom, he details his father's response: "My dad (37) asks whats wrong and at first hes making sure that im alright.

"I dont usually cry much in front of them because I don't feel comfortable. After that he talks to me for a bit and he starts scolding me for not doing enough.

"He starts saying that I should've ran more (even though I am the most athletic and have the most stamina in my family). Then he starts lecturing me about how I need to eat more and drink more water (even though I do that too)."

Then things turn problematic when the father tells his son that he "finds it stupid" that his son is "crying over it", before telling him to "man up".

"He starts giving me that lecture about that back when he was young he didn't cry and all that. Trying to sound like a "man." That just makes me mad and I start arguing back. Our [argument] started at around 10 and ended at 11," @imaginehavingIFunny writes. 

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Following the dispute, the teenager explains that he hasn't spoken to his father since, and proceeded to ask the Reddit community if he was being an "a**hole" because of this.

In response to his post, many other Redditors agreed that the teenager was not in the wrong, with one person writing: "He’s trying to push his internalized toxic masculinity on you. Crying is healthy, expressing your feelings is healthy.

"Sometimes you don’t get things you want, like making a team or getting your dream job, and it’s okay to be upset and even cry over it."

A second added: "Never hold your emotions in! Depression and suicide rates are increasing in men because of toxic masculinity! You're allowed to cry, in fact I'd say being in touch with your emotions is awesome and will help you in your future".

A third agreed, typing: "His behavior is why we have so many men punching walls and screaming instead of sitting down with their wives and discussing their feelings.

"His attitude is toxic and unhealthy, and if he keeps it up, there will be a wedge between both of you that will be difficult, if even possible, to fix."

Other commenters also urged the teenager to speak to his father, and recognize that the dad "was not properly equipped to deal with this."

They added: "It is a shortcoming, but it is a product of the environment he grew up in. People commonly acknowledge how bad this forcing 'toxic masculinity' is on boys, but when those boys grow into fathers and they literally don't know any better because they've been conditioned/indoctrinated into it."

Featured image credit: xavierarnau / Getty