Man's four rules for walking behind a woman at night create online debate

A man has shared his four rules for other men to follow if they find themselves walking behind a woman late at night.

Tom Bidgood has built a sizeable audience on TikTok, with nearly 600,000 followers. His latest video has struck a chord. In it, he lays out four simple things men can do when they find themselves walking behind a woman at night. At the time of writing, the video has 1.7 million views.

The attention the video has received is not surprising. Many women describe feeling tense when footsteps close in behind them after dark. Quiet streets, limited lighting, and the uncertainty of a stranger’s intentions can make even routine journeys feel risky.

Past experiences, stories from friends, and news reports all feed that tension. Small choices by the person behind them can either defuse that worry or make it worse.

That is the backdrop for Bidgood’s advice. The premise is not that every man is dangerous. It is that a few thoughtful actions can reduce the chance of someone in front feeling trapped, watched, or pursued.

What Tom Bidgood actually suggests

In the 40 second video, Bidgood offers four rules.

1. Slow down to create more space. If you are gaining on her, ease your pace so she is not forced to listen to your steps grow louder.
2. Look less scary. He suggests removing a hood, taking hands out of pockets, and generally presenting yourself in a calm, open way. Nothing dramatic, just simple respect.
3. Cross the road if you can. He calls it a kind of signal that says you have no intention of following or making someone uncomfortable.
4. Take a different route if it keeps looking like you are behind her turn after turn. If you notice you are still there several streets later, and it is getting darker, choose an alternative path where possible.

Comments reveal a sharp split

The comment section shows why the video blew up. Many men and women thanked Bidgood for turning a tricky situation into clear steps. One viewer shared a positive experience: “I crossed the road and the young woman actually thanked me. I was taken back as I wondered how she knew I was doing it for her.”

Others pushed back. A dissenting reply read: “I don't have to change anything because of the crimes of a few men. I'm not a danger and if women feel fear near me then that's their problem to get over. Not mine.”

There was also strong support for the guidance: “Dear fellow men: follow this creator’s excellent advice, and don’t be like some the fragile men in the comments. Be a good person.”

Why small gestures matter

Safety is not only about statistics. It is also about how a moment feels. A little extra space, a visible face, or a quick detour can turn a tense walk into a normal one. For many women, that difference is huge.

Bidgood’s rules are easy to remember and cost almost nothing. They are not about blame. They are about awareness. If more people adopt them, a late-night walk home might feel calmer for everyone.

Featured image credit: South_agency / Getty