Jana Stern says that she cried her way through Meghan Markle and Prince Harry's interview with Oprah Winfrey – which saw the couple make damning accusations about the way they have been treated by the Royal Family.
Aged 24, Jana was cut off from her family, after they discovered that she was dating a Black man. "Obviously, I'm Harry," she says, "meaning I'm the white person that fell for someone who was African-American."
Jana tells me that her son, Zachary, came into the room while she was watching the conversation, saying: "Mom, the stuff they're saying is right out of your textbook." Her response? "You don't have to be a royal, or a prince or princess, to understand and live it. Because we've all had our own little kingdoms or castles – or at least I did."
'I can't date you - you're not Jewish'
Jana lived a blessed life. Coming from an upper-class Jewish family in Los Angeles with her father being a well-known film director. Money, then, wasn't an issue – until she went against an unspoken rule.
"I was raised to respect and treat everyone equally. You could be friends with someone who's Black or Asian or Christian – but when all was said and done, we couldn't marry them. And we sure as hell couldn't have an offspring," the costume designer, now 57, says.
Needing work in the '80s, Jana found a job at a centre for emotionally disturbed children. It was here that she met her ex, Jay. "He's the one that pursued me. My attitude was, 'I can't date you – you're not Jewish.' He would joke about it because he couldn't believe how naive I was."
She was, of course, fearful of her family finding out about her relationship. One day, her sister decided to come to her apartment to surprise her, and Jay was there. "She, in essence, tattle-tailed on me. It just blew everything up."
Jana's father immediately cut her off, which meant she had to quit school and work full time. "The ironic thing," she muses, "is my parents pushed me to be with him more, in some sense. Maybe if they didn't give me an ultimatum, it would have turned out like a lot of relationships do – it either works or it doesn't. But they forced my hand.
"I grew up with him, because [our relationship] made me face the hard reality of not only what my family and friends were like, but how society was."
'He slammed the door in my face'
While interracial couples were more uncommon in 80's America, the reaction to Meghan and Harry's marriage highlighted that they are still not wholly ubiquitous or accepted. According to 2018 research, interracial couples only account for seven per cent of relationships in England and Wales.
Certainly, Jana says she's "heartbroken" to see that this is still playing out publicly with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex - 34 years after her own experiences. "I feel for them. I can see how they might have suffered.
"It gets so deep and dark. I remember one day I went to my father's house. I said, 'I just want you to know, you're my dad, and I love you, and I always will'. He looked at me and said, 'You made your choice, I'm making mine. Then he slammed the door in my face.
"Only one of my [three] sisters kept in touch. And there was my aunt and uncle. There were times when I really thought, 'Why am I being punished? I didn't rob anyone.' I was just living my life."
After discovering she was pregnant, Jana was only ostracised further. "Once I told everyone I was expecting, they all turned their back on me, except my mom and mother-in-law," she recalls. "I pretty much raised my son on my own. My ex did come back when Zachary was one, but too much had happened."
For years, Jana tried and failed to involve her father in their lives. When Zachary was three, he called her, saying he'd like to see him. "I said I'd let him meet Zach as long as he didn't say anything hurtful or derogatory against him or me. We'd see him, and it would be fine, but something would happen. Then he'd cut me off again. Finally, I said 'I'm not going to let you hurt Zachary the way you hurt me.'
"He, in essence, punished me to the day he died. He got to know his grandson, and I believe in some certain way he loved him. But he never forgave me for my choices."
The 'same' conversation... in 2021
Raising a mixed-race son as a single mother has not been without its difficulties – and it only increases Jana's sympathy for Meghan and Harry's plight.
Of course, the Duchess of Sussex has been the victim of discriminatory headlines from the beginnings of her relationship with Prince Harry – with one publication writing that her mother's hometown was "(almost) straight outta Compton" and "gang-scarred". But it is the allegation that a member of the Royal Family raised concerns about a then-unborn Archie's skin-colour that has really touched a collective nerve.
She's also aware that the path ahead could be wrought with difficulties. "It's so sad for biracial kids. [Zachary] has endured stuff from white people, Black people, and Jewish people. It's like they have to pick one. You can't be white. You can't be both – you have to be one or the other." Sighing, she adds: "I never thought in 2021, with a 26-year-old grown son that I would be having this conversation."
Jana tells me about a conversation she had with her son yesterday morning. "He said, 'Can you imagine if Meghan wasn't mixed-race – if she was completely African American? I said I don't think it would have gotten past the engagement because of the pressure. She really is one tough cookie."
Following Meghan and Harry's interview with Oprah, Buckingham Palace has issued a statement stressing that it is taking their "concerning" racism allegations "very seriously".
