A mom has admitted that her life was better before she had children...
In a blog posted to Kidspot.com.au, the unnamed mom-of-two confessed something many parents would usually shy away from ever confessing; she admitted that her life was better before having children.
"I am a mother of two, but I wish I was a mother of none," she started. "Yes, I preferred my life without kids. I preferred it so much that I wish I'd never had them."
Before continuing, she added a disclaimer stating that before people judge her for her admission, she wants to emphasize that she loves her kids.
"I want to declare that I do love my two boys with all of my heart; don’t confuse my perspective with not loving my kids," she wrote. "I am also not depressed, nor do I have any sort of mental health condition that makes me a danger of any sort, or risk to myself or my children, or impacting on how I feel in any sort of way."
The mom then doubled down on her views.
"In all honesty, it is actually quite simple and straightforward. Yet I suppose it's not ever said out loud by many people - I wish I didn’t have my two children because I think my life would be much better without them," she said, adding: "Because it was better without them."
She then went on to reminisce about the past.
"Before I had my two boys, my life was amazing. I absolutely adored my career and my husband and I were extremely happy together. We traveled, had an incredible social life, we were like some sort of rom-com montage of two people falling in love and living their best lives - but real.
"It wasn’t just a phase, we were like this for 10 years but then we decided to have children, and once our first child arrived, things changed, and not for the better," she said.
Despite this though, the pair always said they wanted to have children together at some point and then she became pregnant with her first child.
"...We were excited about our first son’s arrival but for me, when it did happen, the reality just didn’t meet the expectation.
"I love him of course and he was an ‘easy’ baby in terms of sleeping and feeding and everything that makes a baby ‘easy’, but I just didn’t love being a mum; I didn’t love anything about it."
She then went on to state that she felt "restricted" by her own child and she ended up becoming "a person [she] never wanted to be."
And things only seemed to get worse when the pair had a second child - another boy.
"We never wanted to have an only child for a variety of reasons, and although I had shared my feelings about motherhood with my husband, after discussing it, we thought maybe with a second child it would change," she wrote in her blog post. "Needless to say, it didn’t."
So what were the main reasons for these overwhelming feelings?
First, it was the loss of her career, the mom admitted.
"My career is now more of a job," she said. "While I still hold the same position, I am part time and it means I just can’t fully invest the way I once had, which was part of the reason I had loved it so much. It gave me a purpose, ambition and drive that fuelled everything else. Now it is like a little rev of an engine and then a stall until the following week where it can rev up again, but it never actually goes anywhere."
And the second reason was the loss of a social life.
"My social life is lacking," she confessed. "Now it is usually based around my children and my friends who have children as well, doing things together with our children. While I understand that some people love this sort of thing, I don’t; even if it was just the odd occasion, it would be great to do some social activities with friends without my kids, without their kids, without talking about kids, like what it used to be like."
After discussing a few more of her experiences, she concluded that if she knew what life would be like having children, she "never would have had them."
Yes, despite the belief that having children is often glorified as the greatest thing a person can do, this mom has definitely started a conversation that I'm sure many parents have wanted to have.
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