A model has sparked a debate online after sharing a pretty exhaustive list detailing the reasons she doesn't want to have children.
Starting a family is one of the biggest decisions a person can make in their life. As well as the expense of having children, there's also the huge responsibility of raising them to be happy, healthy, upstanding members of society, and, y'know, the stress of just keeping them alive.
Some people want nothing more than to be a parent and take to it like duck to water, while others could think of nothing they want to do less than be stuck with a baby 24/7 - and both of those decisions are perfectly fine.
Ellie Gonsalves, 33, took to Instagram to share a screen recording of her scrolling through her list of reasons - all 118 of them to be exact - explaining why she's chosen to be child-free, but it's sparked some debate with her followers.
The Australian model titled the list: "Why I don't want kids", as she told her followers on her Instagram story: "After years of being asked why I don’t want children I compiled this as it always seemed a short reason was never good enough or understood.
"So, this is in more detail for those asking. It’s my own PERSONAL thoughts based on a lot of my own experiences or things very honest people have shared with me personally or online. Some people are made to be parents and that is amazing (I am so happy if you are happy!!!!) but that life is just not [for] me."
Among her reasons, Gonsalves listed "they are YOUR responsibility until the day you die", "there will never be a break from parenthood", and even that holidays and moving are much easier without children.
Other reasons referred to the actual pregnancy, with point 98 being: "A fetus can pee inside you."
Her exhaustive list left people so divided she shared a lengthy message explaining why she'd come to the conclusion she'd rather remain child-free.
She added: "I had many people saying to me today (out of love) 'are you sure you want to post this list?', I have also already received hundreds of dms (direct messages) criticizing me telling me how much of a horrible & broken person that I am.
"And while some of those things on my list are satirical, many are serious & factual. Societal pressure when it comes to this topic are (sic) truly questionable & I believe unfair towards those with differing opinions & rarely do we see a voice in support of this … because let’s face it, the public backlash can be too much."
Gonsalves also added that she has been with her now-husband Ross Scutts for 15 years and the question of when they are having children is the one she gets most frequently.
She added: "I don’t have a problem with input or other people sharing their experiences or feedback, it’s something we have to accept & expect in the world we live in today.
"However I do have a problem with the way someone either responds or instigates this topic with me or others who might share the same position as I do.
"I have found that unfortunately, most of these responses come from a place that carries no education about my (or someone else’s) personal situation, my life, my desires & my requirements for me to live a happy & healthy life.
"I get it, I understand that’s how that person feels, but I don’t need to accept it & I certainly don’t need to accept the pressure that comes along with a loaded question, coming from someone who is clearly living a different life to me by either wanting children, having children or who has children."
Not everyone wants to have children of their own - despite what society expects. Credit: Christopher Hopefitch/Getty Images
While getting married and having children used to be the norm for most couples, in recent years many Millennial and Gen Z people have chosen to either not have children or to have them slightly later in life for a variety of factors, including being more established in their career and more financially stable, to greater issues such as the cost of living crisis or the state of the world as it is now.
Gonsalves pointed out that she'd never not be happy for a friend that wanted to have children or was planning to start a family of her own, so people should equally as understanding and supportive of those who don't see parenthood in their future.
She explained: "My position is NOT for everyone, it’s for one person, the person I am talking on behalf of, ME. I have & will ALWAYS be respectful of peoples opinions & decisions that they make for themselves on something that is not hateful or hurtful."
The model also added that she was speaking out now as the holidays are typically the time that intrusive family members would quiz women about when they were planning to have children, adding: "I believe I have the right to share my position & be supportive of those who want children, have children or are having children & I am equally going to support someone who doesn’t want to be a parent.
"I do think it’s unnecessary, often cruel and most times hurtful to make anyone feel less than for choosing something different to this."
Nevertheless, people did flock to the model's comments section to voice their thoughts - and things quickly became heated!
"I don’t know why people who don’t want to have kids think they have to announce it to the world to convince others it’s the better alternative, you don’t see lists of people convincing other to have kids," one person responded.
A second added: "Having children makes you selfless, all your thoughts are on this tiny person you bought into this world. The love is amazing [...] PS half of your reasons are ridiculous!"
Another Instagram user scathed: "This is unbiblical and demonic. taking the time to write so much rubbish about children. What a shame your mom didn't read this sooner so you weren't born."
However, there were plenty of people on Gonsalves' side, with one supporter writing: "Why are people so bothered? It’s not their business, it has zero effect on their lives and yet they are so upset by it. Totally your choice."
Another fan asked: "Why do people with kids get so defensive and condescending when someone says they don't want to have kids?"
Whatever anyone chooses to do with regards to starting a family - or not, as the case may be - should be nobody's business but their own.
