Relationships4 min(s) read
Study reveals surprising truth about ‘duty sex’ and why couples do it
People have sex for all sorts of reasons beyond physical pleasure or starting a family.
But sometimes, the motivation has less to do with desire and more to do with feeling obligated to satisfy a partner.
A new study has explored the psychology behind 'duty sex,' revealing that fear of a partner being unfaithful may play a role in why people engage in intimacy when they don't particularly want to.
Previous research has identified several reasons, including maintaining a relationship, protecting a partner's feelings, avoiding conflict, and preventing abandonment.
However, the research published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology investigated whether the behavior could have an evolutionary explanation.
"What reproductive advantages might this behavior have provided over our evolutionary history? I wanted to know if duty sex serves an ultimate function, and if so, what that function is," lead study author F. Sid Dougan explained.
Researchers reveal why some people have sex out of obligation
The study included 252 participants, 176 women and 76 men, between the ages of 18 and 24.
Most of the participants identified as heterosexual, and their relationships ranged from relatively new to lasting seven years.
They completed a survey that included questions related to "age, gender, race/ethnicity, education, sexual orientation, current relationship status, number of lifetime romantic and sexual partners, and current sexual activity (vaginal, anal, or oral sex)".
They were also asked how often they would engage in duty sex to protect their relationship.
Researchers examined three possible influences: "Perceived probability of partner infidelity, mate value discrepancy, and neuroticism" - a personality trait associated with emotional sensitivity and a tendency to experience negative emotion - to predict the likelihood of duty sex.
The findings revealed a connection between duty sex and concerns about a partner being unfaithful.
Participants who believed their partner was more likely to cheat reported engaging in duty sex more frequently.
This association was observed in both men and women, which suggested that fears about relationship security could influence sexual behavior regardless of gender.
Men and women reported similar levels of duty sex
Interestingly, another finding challenged the assumption that women are necessarily more likely than men to engage in sex out of obligation.
Researchers found no difference in the overall frequency of duty sex reported by male and female participants.
This is interesting given that previous research has suggested that men, on average, report higher levels of sexual desire.
The study also discovered that participants who viewed themselves as less romantically desirable than their partners tended to report more duty sex, while higher levels of neuroticism were associated with the behavior.
However, the researchers acknowledged limitations in the study, including the self-reported data, a small sample size, and participants who were predominantly young adults in relatively early-stage relationships.
"This work highlights how behaviors that appear obligation-based may reflect strategic responses to perceived partner loss risk, offering a foundation for future research on the role of sexual behavior in relationship maintenance," the authors concluded.
What exactly is 'duty sex'?
Relationship experts say there is an important distinction between choosing to be intimate and feeling that sex is something you owe your partner.
"You don't want to feel like you are letting your partner down. Or you want to feel normal, because you've learnt that you need to have sex to be a good partner," Kassandra Mourikis, a sex and relationship therapist in Naarm/Melbourne, explained to ABC News.
People might also fear that refusing sex could threaten their relationship or disappoint their partner.
"Sex becomes this obligation to fulfil and feel more like a chore - there's not really any wanting there," she added.
The therapist said duty sex is most common in long-term relationships, but can also happen in casual relationships where sex is the basis of the connection.