The first date. The big day. It's showtime, Baby. This is it. Your hair is wet with gel and sweat, you smell like a walking advert for CK IN2U, and your shirt - for one day only - is ironed.
"Where are you taking them?" your friends ask. The cinema? Ha! Why? So we can sit in a dark room for two hours and not talk to each other? No, absolutely not. A bar? Don't make me laugh! Okay, so what about that nice Italian in town? Nooope. Spag Bol is a first date nightmare, my friend.
There is only one place to take your first date: Costco.
Yes, Costco: the wholesale warehouse store. While it may sound like a completely left-field shout, there's a lot about this store that makes it the ideal first date location - and people are beginning to realise.
Firstly, there's the price. The food at Costco is cheap. And, when I say cheap. I mean, really, really cheap. If you're taking someone to Costco, offer to pay.
Not only will you look like a generous, kind and loving spirit, but you'll also only spend $10 in a day - saving you a serious amount of cash on expensive cheese and fancy wine. Not only this, but the Costco Polish hotdog (R.I.P) was the best you could get. Don't email me about this. It is a fact. And it still hurts that they've scrapped it.
However, there is more to Costco than the simple fact that it's pretty cheap. If you play your cards right, you can do a date at Costco without spending a dime, a nickel or a cent. That's right, a free first date. Once you've managed to (somehow) convince someone that you are a legitimate normal human being, it's time to whisk them away on a culinary adventure to the Costco food court and enjoy the free samples that are given out by their staff.
Whether you're after raspberry goat's cheese or bite-size churros, there's something for everyone. Show your date that you are a person of culture by picking up multiple pots from different aisles. Sure, I like cheese. Noodles? Love them. Ahh, yes, my favourite: quiche! The possibilities are endless.
However, daters, be warned - it appears that people are cottoning on to the Costco date trend - with Twitter being awash with people who have had dates in the store and even some who have got engaged under those famous red letters. Seriously, check it out below.
So next time you're using your fingers to do the running man on Tinder or Bumble, think about where you want to take your date. Is it a) to a fancy-pancy restaurant where you will regret spending $80 on pasta you could've made at home. Or, b) Costco: a place where you can eat a variety of samples, enjoy different delicacies and stare at families doing their weekly shopping while pondering if that will be you and your date one day.
Costco, hey? What a place.
