With the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement rightfully dominating the headlines recently, a white woman has taken to social media to share what she's learned from marrying a black man.
Pamela Chandler, from Florida, made the revelations after growing frustrated by those who have denied racism and grown tired of the BLM movement.
She explained exactly what she's seen her husband endure as a black man and explained what it's like to have a mixed-race daughter, whose experience of the world is also being shaped by the color of her skin.
Listen to a full news report about Pamela's post:In a now-viral Facebook post, Pamela wrote: "So as a white woman married to a black man and raising a biracial child I've had to unlearn a lot of things. I've also had to LEARN twice as much. I've had to become aware and start to notice things my mind never would have before."
Pamela began her list by explaining that she has to drive "anytime we are leaving the Dayton area. We don't talk about it each time, we just both know that if we are leaving our general 'safe' area and heading to smaller town Ohio roads I'm the one driving."
She then revealed that she has to "handle store clerks, returns, getting documents signed, anything with any federal building or administrative work, I get further with any type of 'paperwork' thing that needs handled, people listen to me and are much more agreeable than with him."
Another little-known problem faced by the couple is greeting cards. Pamala wrote that the "chances that we find a Black or Interracial couple on a greeting card are SLIM. Unless you want to give the same Black Couple card every year, which we have. There are hundreds of white couples to choose from though!"
She also explained that her husband feels pressured to be nice to everyone, "not because he's a people person, but because he has learned that a 6'5 Black man intimidates people and so he overcompensates by being overly friendly so people won't be afraid of him."
Even going to the store is a challenge for the couple, and Pamela revealed that if "Walter is pushing the cart I always have to have my receipt ready when leaving the store."
The couple also had strangers make assumptions about their financial status and she said "multiple neighbors stopped my father and asked him if he was the new landlord for us. Because of course, the old white man must have purchased the home.
"Not only do we own our home, [but it's also] fully paid off, we have no mortgage and we paid for it BY OURSELVES."
The couple even struggled to find a welcoming church "without racist undertones and low key racist members".
But perhaps most tragically of all, the couple's daughter has very few doll options to chose from and "gets 25 white options and 1-2 black or mixed-race doll options."
Pamela explained that while a lot of people describe their daughter as "adorable", they are "the same people who would cross the street if Walter was walking alone.
The couple are careful about where they go and "avoid all places with confederate flags" and don't enter restaurants that cater to seniors like Bob Evans too early so that they can avoid being stared at.
Walter can't even leave his daughter's side at a playground, otherwise, he risks "stares and people [wondering] what the 'big black man' is doing on the park bench."
Pamela even revealed that at her husband's request, she removed the BLM sign by their door as he was worried it would "make us a target when he is not home".
Now, following the success of her viral post, Pamela has started a blog to spread awareness about everyday racism, The Chandler Crew, and it is jam-packed with useful resources about racial injustice in the US.