A woman has been praised for banning her husband's family from touring her home after finding they were opening cabinets to nose around inside.
Managing the in-laws can be difficult at the best of times - while some people get on like a house on fire with their partner's family, others butt heads for the whole of their lives.
Most people fall somewhere in the middle, reaching compromises on the important issues while maintaining boundaries to make the relationship work for everyone involved.
However, one woman has revealed that she had to put her foot down about her husband's family touring her home after some of them took things a little too far.
Taking to Reddit's 'Am I The A**hole' forum, the woman revealed that she and her husband had moved into their first home together two years ago, and were initially more than happy to do a few housewarming sessions with their family, friends, and relatives to show them their new abode.
However, as her husband's side of the family mostly lived in different countries, some of them were unable to visit in person at the time and were shown the property over FaceTime instead.
While she thought that meant the house tours were done and dusted, things took a turn when the four households began flying over on vacation - at which point her in-laws told her husband that they were "planning to bring them over to our home to have a look."
She explained: "The first 2 times when they did that, I was honestly very reluctant because we had already lived in the house for like a good year that time and i didn't want to have to tidy up the whole house every time a new relative would come over (just because they've never seen the house physically) but my husband has always been fine with it so I just put up with it."
While that situation is already annoying enough, the family's behavior once they arrived was even worse - as they seemed to feel entitled to have a nose in every area of the home, including cupboards and doors that had been locked to keep them out.
The woman added: "When they were over, it was a really annoying situation for me because:- i) I had locked the store rooms for a reason (not wanting them to see how messy it is) but they tried turning the knob themselves and asked why is it locked. When I told them it's a storeroom, they still requested if i could just open it so that they could see how big the storeroom is but I told them it's messy so I didn't want to open but they still insisted for one more time before i told them no.
"ii) they would just open the kitchen cabinets without even asking for permission which honestly ticked me off. I could understand that they probably grew up with being open about everything so they felt it was fine to just open and take a peek because even at my in-laws place, they are always very fine with their relatives opening their fridge/cabinets but I don't come from that kind of culture so I felt it was a bit rude to just open without our permission."
The woman added that she considers herself an "introvert" and values her personal space, so "[doesn't] really like having people come into my space nor peeking through my stuff that much."
She added: "If it's a home that we just newly moved in then I'm totally fine with that but I'm just not okay with the fact that people are still coming into the bedroom when I've already lived in it for more than a year."
The post concluded with her saying: "Disclaimer: I'm fine if they just want to bring them over to hang out/have a look downstairs but I'm not ok to do a full fledge home tour which includes the bedroom.
"It's now our 2nd year living in our home and another bunch of relative of his is flying down for vacation in the next couple of days and to no surprise, my in-laws have again told my husband that they would want to bring them over to our home."
Commenters were resolutely on her side that she was "not the a**hole" in the situation, and that her need for boundaries was valid.
They commented: "NTA. As a fellow introvert who is very private, I get it and completely understand why this is an uncomfortable situation for you. I’m guessing you don’t necessarily have anything to hide, but to me opening cabinets and closets can feel so exposed, or even people seeing the bed that I’ve slept in with my partner would feel so personal. These are private spaces that I’ve put effort into designing for myself to feel like an oasis - letting people peek into that can feel very vulnerable. Not to mention the extra effort it would take for you to clean them to a higher degree for judgmental eyes.
"Honestly why is it even that interesting for them to see? To count how many shelves you’ve got in the closet? To see if you have blue or white sheets? Even though your husband is fine with it himself, he needs to make a better effort to understand and respect your boundaries so he can help stand up for you with his family. It’s called supporting your partner on things that are important to each other."
Others added: "NTA…this is a couple problem. You and your husband need to have a talk. You need to tell your husband, this is your home as well and what is acceptable to you when his family brings other family over to see your home. A peek in your bedroom is one thing, going thru it is another. Snooping in cabinets and such as well. And if a door is locked, it stays locked."
Someone else commented: "Nta youre definitely entitled to your privacy. Your husband needs to talk to them about boundaries."
Others had some pretty novel ideas to put off the nosy relatives, as one suggested: "I would put index cards with synonyms for 'nosy' on the inside door of each cabinet and in each drawer. I wish I had the sass to put d**dos everywhere but I have neither the sass nor the money."
Another suggested: "NTA. Your home is your castle. I'd be tempted to set up a fake 'sex dungeon' vibe in the storeroom," while one joked: "Start charging for tours. $50 a head, photos extra."
The original poster later updated to say that she and her husband had had a "long discussion" about it and white she understood that he was fine with it as he was just excited to show off the home to his loved ones, the pair had come to a compromise to only allow them to tour the downstairs part of the home, leaving the bedrooms off-limits.
She added: "Not sure what can be done with the nosy aunts who just loves to take a peek around but i will just settle with this compromise for now."
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