Woman rejects boyfriend's proposal after he assumed she'd be taking his name

A woman has gone viral on social media this week after revealing that she rejected her partner's marriage proposal due to his wrongful assumption that she'd take his family's name after their nuptials were over.

Earlier this month, the unnamed woman took to a subforum on Reddit called Am I The A**hole - where users post about a recent grievance or conflict they've had and the community then votes on whether or not the original poster was in the wrong - to share her story.

Some of these cringe-worthy "Leap Year Proposals" have also divided the general public: 

[[jwplayerwidget||https://content.jwplatform.com/videos/HQR8QNr9-sKUnNGKf.mp4||HQR8QNr9]]

The Redditor asked: "AITA for rejecting my boyfriend's engagement ring because he assumed I was taking his name?!?! [sic]"

In a lengthy post, the 23-year-old woman stated her 36-year-old partner proposed to her at a family function in July of 2020, getting down on one knee and asking for her hand in front of most of his family after just four months of dating.

However, just five minutes later, the woman noticed that her partner of four months had the engagement ring engraved with her first name and his surname without asking her permission.

The Redditor stated:

"I handed him back the ring in front if everyone and told him it was beautiful but he had no right to assign me his name. I was not to be his property. We would be equal. Why not he take my last name.

"He took back the ring but didn't really say anything. Most of his family kept quiet but his mom and SIL did try to comfort me and say he didn't mean anything by it.

"I feel like stripping me of my name is a big deal and a discussion prior would have been the right way to do it. I'm more than happy to take his name if he'd just ask."

Needless to say, the woman's post was divisive. Some people stated that she was right to reject her partner, while others opined that she'd been too harsh and should have discussed the matter with him beforehand.

For instance, one Reddit user wrote:

"Yeah I'd have flipped out too. That's horrifically insensitive. 'I've decided you don't get to keep your name, without even bothering to ask you' That does not bode well for any kind of married life. [sic]

Meanwhile, another user stated: "I think this is a generational thing. Someone his age would not have likely thought twice about her taking his name. From some of the reactions here, it seems like this isn't assumed anymore. I'm sure they will discover many more basic assumptions that won't match as they get to know each other."

In a follow-up post made on Monday, November 16, the Redditor returned to the forum with a follow-up post, writing:

"So I did what a lot of you suggested and what I should have done way sooner and talked to my boyfriend about all of this."

She continued:

"He admitted he felt awkward and weird about the whole thing and that even though he loved me he'd kind of soured on the idea of marrying me. I asked him why he didn't bring this up before and he said 'Why didn't you?' Fair enough.

"We didn't fight. He wasn't mean. But it was like just having that conversation deflated our whole connection. It just felt kind of sad and empty and we decided I would move out and we'd end the relationship."

Do you think she was right to flip out? Or could she have handled this with more tact? Let us know what you think in the comments below.