Stephen 'tWitch' Boss's widow has heartbreakingly shared that she found out about her late husband’s drug addiction while looking for an outfit for him to wear at his funeral.
The beloved TV star, best known for his appearances as the DJ on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, tragically passed away at the age of 40.
Boss's body was discovered at a motel in Los Angeles on December 13, 2022. His cause of death was ruled as suicide by a coroner, and county officials further confirmed that the late dancer died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound, TMZ reported.
The longtime DJ was married to Alison Holker. The couple shared a son Maddox, eight, and daughters Zaia, five, and Weslie, 16.
In a new interview with PEOPLE, Boss's wife revealed that she learned about her late husband's drug addiction weeks after his tragic death.
The 36-year-old, who is also a professional dancer, said that she had found a "cornucopia" of drugs such as mushrooms, pills, and "other substances I had to look up on my phone," hidden inside Boss's shoeboxes inside their closet.
"I was with one of my really dear friends, and we were cleaning out the closet and picking out an outfit for him for the funeral," Holker told the outlet.
"It was a really triggering moment for me because there were a lot of things I discovered in our closet that I did not know existed. It was very alarming to me to learn that there was so much happening that I had no clue [about].
"It was a really scary moment in my life to figure that out, but it also helped me process that he was going through so much and he was hiding so much, and there must have been a lot of shame in that," she added.
Throughout their nine-year marriage, Holker believed she and Boss had "very honest" communication about his marijuana use.
At night, after their kids went to bed, he would go into their guesthouse to smoke or drink. "That was his alone time. It was his time to recharge, and that was okay," she explained.
But as she looked through her late husband's journals hoping to find clarity and closure after his unexpected passing, she learned that he’d been keeping many things hidden from her, including possible sexual abuse by a male figure during his childhood.
“He was wrestling with a lot inside himself, and he was trying to self-medicate and cope with all those feelings because he didn’t want to put it on anyone because he loved everyone so much,” Holker said. “He didn’t want other people to take on his pain.”
Initially, the dancer said she felt betrayed by his secrets, but thanks to therapy, she's gained a new outlook on the situation.
She said the journals gave her “a better perspective of where he was in life and the type of things [he] was struggling with," adding: "It was really hard to put all the pieces together... Reading through his journals, you realize he went through a lot as a child and never faced it.
"It's hard to think that he never opened up to someone and wanted to face it, to get through on the other side. I really hope people dealing with the same thing will help themselves out of the shadows and [know] you're going to be okay," she concluded.
Elsewhere in the interview, Holker revealed Boss's devastating last words to his daughter before dying by suicide.
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