I am asking you, please, for one second, to imagine that you have been given $9 million of gifts. Sounds pretty sweet, right? Imagine sitting there, knowing that you have $9 million of stuff that you can either sell or enjoy. All those scooters, games consoles and Nespresso machines you can marvel at. It's genuinely a life-changing amount of gifts to receive. But then... disaster strikes: "I have to send them all back?" you ask. "I literally cannot touch/play/enjoy my gifts? I can't even see the gifts? What do you mean I have no choice!?"
Horrible, I know.
But, for some people, this nightmare is a reality.
That's right, folks: welcome to Hell - otherwise known as the life of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.
As I am sure you're more than likely aware by now, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle got hitched a few weeks ago in what was a generally lovely, groundbreaking and joyous occasion. There were many things that made this wedding so special, with several royal traditions being broken and there being a prominent celebration of black culture that has never been seen in the royal family before.
And, as a general rule of thumb, Harry and Meghan seem like a pretty cool couple. They're both known for their humanitarian and charity work and they carried on this interest when it came to their wedding gifts. The ceremony was attended by the Hollywood Elite and friends of the bride and groom. However, rather than ask for a new toaster and plasma TV, Harry and Meg asked that people donate money to their chosen charities.
Canada clearly got the message, with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau issuing a statement saying that Canada will donate £29,000 ($50,000 Canadian) to a youth charity called Jumpstart.
The statement said: “Today, Canadians joined in celebration as Prince Harry and Meghan Markle married.
“To celebrate their union, Canada will donate $50,000 to Jumpstart, a Canadian charity dedicated to making play and sports more accessible to children from disadvantaged backgrounds. Since 2005, Jumpstart has helped more than 1.6 million children of all abilities get out on the field and be part of a team.”
However, it appears that some companies didn't get the memo. According to various reports, Kensington Palace has been inundated with gifts for the newlyweds. But, rather than revel in their new gifts - which include themed swimsuits - Harry and Meghan will be ordered to send them all back from whence they came.
The official rules from Kensington Palace on receiving freebies from businesses say: “When gifts are accepted, the consent of the Member of the Royal Family should be contingent upon the enterprise undertaking not to exploit the gift for commercial purposes.”
Its guidelines continue: “Gifts offered by private individuals living in the UK not personally known to the Member of the Royal Family should be refused where there are concerns about the propriety or motives of the donor or the gift itself.”
So $9 million worth of prezzies will be heading back to the PR companies that sent them out. Here's a better idea: why not raffle the gifts off and donate the ticket proceeds to charity? I'm more than a pretty face, y'know.