A family was forced to defend a NSFW hidden message that they had inscribed on their late father's tombstone following complaints from locals.
In September 2021, Steven Paul Owens sadly passed away at the age of 59. His grieving family chose a rather unique gravestone message to remember him by, choosing one of his favorite day-to-day phrases.
However, in order not to offend too many people, they chose to hide the message within the inscription rather than display it overtly - but it wasn't so cryptic that it went unnoticed.
Steven's headstone at Polk County's Warren-Powers Cemetery in Iowa soon caught locals' attention, and some complaints followed.
The family's choice of inscription has led to some complaints. Credit: Claudiad/Getty Images
Steven's headstone is engraved with the following epitaph, as reported by WIBW. It reads:
"Forever in our hearts. Until we meet again. Cherished memories. Known as. Our son, brother. Father, papa, uncle. Friend and cousin."
That may seem a pretty innocuous and loving message for a dearly missed father, right? Well, on first glance it absolutely is - except when you take into account how it's laid out on the stone.
Not that I feel the need to spell it out for you, but the first letter of each line reads: 'F*** OFF' - a phrase Steven's daughter, Lindsay Owens, says was a "term of endearment" used by her father.
She explained: "If he didn’t like you, he didn’t speak to you. It’s just who he was," adding that Steven's kids would often try and get him to say the phrase as part of a family in-joke.
However, while the tribute had special meaning to the family, who didn't find it offensive, several others certainly did and went forward to complain to employees who look after the cemetery.
WIBW reports that staff were against the profane inscription from the start as they believed it was inappropriate to have in a graveyard, which is a place they believe should be for peaceful reflection.
A statement from The Camp Township Trustees read: "The Camp Township Trustees were and are against this headstone being placed in our cemetery. How would you like your spouse, child, mother, father, grandparent, aunt, uncle or cousin, your loved one, or eventually you be laid to rest next to that for eternity?"
Despite the backlash, Steven's family have stood firm on their quirky way of honoring their late dad, with his son Zachary telling the news outlet: "No one’s forcing anyone to come out and look at it. That’s a choice that you make.
"We didn’t do it to offend anyone, make anyone mad, or hurt anyone’s feelings. We did it because it was our father, and we love him, and that’s how we remember him."
Steven's daughter Linday also told TODAY Parents that most people only look at their own loved ones' graves anyway, adding: "I have visited his grave many times since he passed away and I don't know what the headstones say next to [dad's]".
A spokesperson for Polk County told TODAY that family members can write headstone inscriptions of their choice, and the small community doesn't dictate memorial markers.
Camp Township Board of Trustees member Alex Johnson added that nobody "should visit a loved one at one of our cemeteries and leave offended", and that they will be "re-evaluating their procedure for memorial markings moving forward."
Meanwhile, Steve's obituary celebrates the man who "loved spending time with his family" and whose "grandchildren were his pride and joy"
"Steve enjoyed playing flag football and slow-pitch softball. He loved coaching his children and attending their events. Steve was an avid Cubs and Steelers fan," per findagrave.com. "He enjoyed his time fishing and vacationing at Lake of the Ozarks, spending time on Danny and Wendy's porch, and visiting with friends and family. He loved his conversation with a shot of Fireball."
Would you be offended if you saw that headstone in the cemetery? Let us know in the comments.
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