An Indiana man wrote a brilliant obituary for himself before going on to die in a tragic plane crash.
Gary Wolflet, 72, died after his self-made single-engine Express 2000 FT plane, which he'd spent 17 years building, crashed in Ohio on May 5.
According to a report from WXIN, while nobody could have foreseen the tragic incident, Wolflet had already prepared for his eventual death - after having survived an incredible amount of near-misses throughout his life - by writing an obituary for himself.
He began the tribute by writing: "Hello. I am Gary. I am completely dead now. I am surprised that it took this long to happen.
"I had several close calls throughout my lifetime. I guess that I was just lucky that something didn’t get me long before now."
He then detailed a "long series of events and mishaps" which he believes "should have killed me long ago."
Those included taking a fly ball to the forehead in Little League, joking: " I guess that explains a lot later in life now that I think about it," a savage kick in the gut from his sister's horse when he was in his twenties, adding: "Any higher and my heart probably would have stopped. Any lower and I probably would have been singing soprano for the rest of my life."
In his thirties, Wolflet was hit by a car while crossing the street, but managed to walk away from the incident with only a torn up coat and feeling pretty sore, while in his forties, he was working on a building that was being torn down and narrowly avoided being flattened by a large, brick chimney, which fell and landed just 10 feet away from him.
He also revealed: "In my fifties, I got knocked down nineteen stairs at my office by a couple of hundred pound concrete lined safe which landed on top of me and pinned me to the floor.
"That one was the worst! I didn't get any body parts broken and no internal injuries. But I couldn't even pick up my own feet to get into bed for about a week. Thank goodness for pain killing drugs!"
Things didn't get any easier in his sixties, as Wolflet fell backwards off a scaffold, falling 10 feet and cracking his head on a concrete floor. The subsequent visit to the doctor - his first in three years - also ended up leading to the discovery he had prostate cancer, which was caught early enough to be treated.
In his seventies, he was told the treatment was no longer working and he had to undergo surgery to remove his prostate, leaving him with an "internal leak" that once again almost cost his life.
Wolflet added: "One more close call late in life! I cannot tell you here what sort of event actually killed me as I wrote this obituary before I was completely dead. Someone else will have to fill in the details later on I guess."
He also shared a heartwarming tribute to his wife, Esther, who he married in Las Vegas in 1982.
Wolflet added: "It is not likely that many men have had it as good as I have had it at home. I was well fed and well loved from the start to finish.
"I never wanted a bunch of noisy little kids running around the house. So we had dogs instead. They hardly ever tried to bite me. So I guess that they must have liked me too.
"As a matter of fact, I liked our dogs better than I liked most people that I came into contact with throughout my lifetime."
He sweetly added: "Hopefully if there is a life after death, I will end up with Esther and all of our dogs in a sunny field of tall grass with music playing all around me. It was music that made me the happiest most of my life."
Wolflet also detailed his life's "most important accomplishments", including staying "lovingly married to the same woman for a long time", cutting 100 cords of firewood, and fixing "a lot of problems for a lot of people over the last fifty years", thanking "those of you who loved me while I was here on Earth. It really meant a lot to me. And I appreciate your letting me love you right back."
He closed the message by writing: "Good bye and Peace. I am hanging up now. GHW," before adding a couple of "PS" messages confirming he did not intentionally vote for any socialists throughout his life, "so I am not the least bit responsible for the mess that America is in at the moment."
He added that he did not want a funeral, as "I don't want people coming by to look at me all dressed up and stretched out in an expensive box looking as bad as I will probably look in a completely dead condition."
Instead of sending flowers, he also wanted people to "please keep the money and take yourself out for a nice dinner or do something nice for someone else."
He joked: "Maybe after a while some of my friends might get together and have a party on my behalf. I will try to remember to have a nice full size stand up cardboard cutout of me available for the event. I am pretty sure someone will want to claim it for a dart board afterwords."
Esther also added further details to the end of the obituary, encouraging mourners to send donations to local animal shelters in memory of Wolflet in lieu of buying flowers.
Our thoughts remain with Wolflet's loved ones at this difficult time - he was clearly an unforgettable character.