I think we can all agree that dating in the 21st century is a terrifying minefield; a necessary evil to stave off terrible loneliness and to find companionship, whatever form that might take.
Very few people are capable of moving through life and navigating its pitfalls and disappointments alone, without a shoulder to cry on, someone who has your back no matter what tempest attempts to fell you.
The trouble is, in our modern society of dizzying technological advancements, we appear to have forgotten that love is a practice best undertaken face to face, rather than through the many sterilized corridors that make up the myriad of dating apps we are now expected to use to pursue romance.
Nevertheless, we carry on trying, sometimes in vain, to make a connection deeper than that of a LinkedIn profile, despite the overwhelming odds that we will fail. Once you have read these stories of dating gone horribly wrong, though, you might just decide it's not worth all of the hassle.
1. Second date?
"I went on a blind date when I was 16 to dinner and a movie. We went to go see 'I still know what you did last summer.' I got peer pressured into taking mushrooms for the first time (Id never done ANY drugs before). I ate them with a few friends that tagged along for dinner. We went to the movies after dinner, just us two. Well, at the beginning of the movie Jennifer Love Hewitt wakes up from a nightmare screaming, I proceeded to scream and run out of the theater. The rest of the night for me finished in this order: called dad from the payphone and told him I was tripping balls (60s dad, he understood). Stayed in fetal position out front of the theater. Girls dad picks her up with her crying, he kicks me angrily asking what my problem was. Dad picks me up. Dad drives me home while on the way looking at me and moving his mouth without saying anything just to fuck with me. Dad tells me to go to my room and don't talk to my mom. I have a conversation with my cat and black out."
2. Why?
"Guy picked me up, drove thru McDonalds & bought a ton of food, drove me to a cemetery & asked me to step on the food."
3. Oh boy
"The tl;dr of it is I laughed too hard, started coughing, farted, pooped a little. It was a dealbreaker."
4. At least he's honest
"Within the first ten minutes he explained, he was born with a tail, had it operated on, but don't worry he wasn't incontinent."
5. Lol, surprise!
"Spent 30 mins outside a pub next to my 'date' who ignored me, then texted, "if that's u next to me I'll b really embarrassed""
6. Quite an evening for that guy
"He took me (a female) to a gay club, got drunk, came out of the closet, met a guy and gave me $40 to catch a taxi home #truth"
7. Bit forward
"He pulled out his penis in the middle of a full movie theater and asked me to suck it"
8. That's just bizarre
"Roommate's worst first date involved a guy who talked about the color/consistency of his poop the whole time, including dinner"
9. Not the time to try new things
"I had never had sushi and I went on a first date to sushi. I tried a piece of her raw salmon and when I felt that little sguiggly piece of cold fish slide down my throat, my stomach workers called for an evacuation of all non-essentials.
I puked and tried to cover it with my hand, sending vomit flying off in different directions, including hers."
10. Tragic
"Ran over her cat... RIP Snickers"
Has this put you off dating for life, or made you feel better about your own love life? Either way, I wish you the best of luck.
