1. It will be 20 years since Titanic won 11 Oscars
Look how young Leonardo DiCaprio is in the trailer. Hanging out on a fancy ship with Kate Winslet - he truly was "the king of the world." And now he's in The Revenant, all grizzled, on the worst camping trip ever, sleeping inside dead horses for warmth. So much for being king.
2. Rupert Grint will be 30 years old
Ron Weasley's all grown up, and he turned into Ed Sheeran. Way to ruin last season of Game of Thrones, Ron!
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3. The Spice Girls will have been around for 20 years
Spice Girls? More like Spice Golden Girls. I'll tell you what they want, what they really really want: Fiber supplements.
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4. It will be 20 years since Brandy & Monica's "The Boy Is Mine"
By now, that "boy" is a grown man with a receding hairline and a beer belly, and they probably don't want him anymore.
5. Haley Joel Osment will be 30 years old
In The Sixth Sense, Haley cried because he saw dead people. Now he cries because he sees how many candles are on his birthday cake. (He was really funny on Silicon Valley, though.)
6. It will be 20 years since we got 'Jiggy With It'
Will Smith's still a huge movie star, but remember when he used to make bangers? Now his teenage kids, Jaden and Willow, make bangers. In 2018, Will Smith will turn 50. The last song he made was last year's "Get Lit," a cringeworthy attempt at EDM. Parents just don't understand.
7. It will be 10 years since Katy Perry "kissed a girl and liked it"
In 2015, gay marriage was legalized in the U.S., so now Katy can marry that girl, if she still likes kissing her.
8. The last episode of Seinfeld will be 20 years old
Remember the series finale, where the gang gets sentenced to jail for one year? Yeah, it wasn't great. But every episode before that was hilarious, and the "Seinfeld reunion" on the seventh season of Curb Your Enthusiasm was prettay, prettay good.
9. "Chocolate Salty Balls" will be 20 years old
'Member when legendary soul singer Isaac Hayes played Chef on South Park? And 'member when he sang "Chocolate Salty Balls," and it was released as a single, and topped the charts? I 'member! But I doubt today's generation does. Enjoy your PC Principal!
10. It will be ten years since we elected Barack Obama
That's right, only twenty years ago, we elected our first black president. Wait, what? This photograph is only from ten years ago? Are you sure it's not twenty? And really, Donald Trump has only been president for ONE year? That's it? Oh, dear. Pass the whiskey.
11. Google will be 20 years old
This means there are some dabbing Snapchatting 20-year-olds out there who have never known a world without Google. If you tell them stories about how you used to do research in a library, they'll start googling nursing homes to drop you off at.