The great playwright William Shakespeare once asked, "What's in a name?", to which anyone with a regular title might respond, "not a lot, mate". However, for the "Jack Hoff's", "Ben Dover's" and "Randy Mann's" of the world, the answer is probably very different.
When naming a child, parents should consider the true gravity of the situation, and understand that however they brand their kid will most likely stick with them for their entire life. Evidently, though, not all of them do, as this list demonstrates...
1. This kid better have siblings called 'Retweet' and 'Blue Tick'
2. Burn, baby, burn
3. You're called what?
4. Best friends with Robin Banks, of course
5. Good luck buddy
6. Born on May the 4th
7. Judge of what, exactly?
8. Must be cool to have your own theme tune though
9. Was he an immaculate conception?
10. He should probably leave
11. Would've been better if his first name started with 'T'
12. Nominative determinism has taught me I should avoid Wendy
13. Ok, this guy one-ups the other Batman
14. He's got a cousin called Jack Daniels
15. I wasn't kidding
16. Otherwise known as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
17. He was literally born for this job
18. Her parents knew what they were doing
19. Nobody will ever believe this guy if he tries to book a restaurant table
20. There's more than one of him!
Some of these are definitely worse than others, but I'll take my boring name over all of them. If you're ever tasked with the duty of naming a child, try and remember these horrific examples of what not to do, or prepare to suffer the consequences of having a kid named Voldemort.
