5 New Year's resolutions for the bedroom everyone should make for 2018

1. Focus on foreplay

Why skip the appetizer, and rush straight to the main course? Sometimes the appetizer is better than the meal (or makes the meal taste even better). Foreplay is essential to establish chemistry. The more you build sexual tension, the more satisfying it will be when you finally do the "hokey pokey." But do not use the words "hokey pokey" during foreplay. And definitely do not tell your partner to stick their left land in, stick their left hand out, and shake it all about. That is not considered sexy. I have learned this the hard way.

2. Go down on each other

If you're not doing it already, try oral sex, and make sure you take turns. It's not fair if just one of you is doing all the work. Relationships should be equal - I scratch your back, you scratch mine. But don't do any scratching during this activity. That would bite. And don't do any biting either. Anyway, you might be nervous about going south of the border due to a lack of skills. Just remember, practice makes perfect. If you can satisfy your partner this way, imagine how enthusiastic he or she will be about returning the favor.

3. Talk dirty

Sex doesn't have all have to be all breathing and moaning and your 90's R&B playlist on Spotify. Try talking dirty to each other. After all, you're naked, so this is no time to be shy. Naughty words are powerful, and can make the experience better. Say your partner's name, rave about how good their body feels, and then bust out that sexy Yoda impression. "Mmm! Sexy, your body is! Pleasure you, I must!" Actually, skip the Yoda impression. That doesn't work. But give dirty talk a chance.

4. Try something new

Why stick to missionary? There are so many different sex positions out there, and I'm not just talking about doggystyle and reverse cowgirl. Break open the Kama Sutra, or look online, and you'll find a cornucopia of positions. In fact, “The Cornucopia” is probably a position. Sure, some might seem unusual, like "the butter churner," "the wheelbarrow" and "the pretzel." But you might find something unexpectedly awesome, like sex positions inspired by Game of Thrones. If not, hey, you had fun trying. And if nothing else, you could always pick up some items at the adult toy store or try some light bondage.

5. Communicate and listen

The best thing you can do during sex is listen. I know it sounds obvious, but pay attention to what your partner is saying. If you're doing something, and your partner says it feels good, then keep doing it. If your partner tells you to do something else, then give that a shot. It's important to listen to feedback. For example, when George Lucas made the Star Wars prequels, he didn't listen to any feedback, and look how those movies turned out. Is that what you want, for your sex life to be like The Phantom Menace? Do you want to be a Jar Jar Binks in the sack? Ex-squeeze me, I don't think so. Also, on the flipside, make sure you communicate your needs as well. Tell your partner what feels good and what you want them to do. (You didn’t think there would be so many Star Wars references in this sex article, did you?)