Christmas is a time for family, presents and good food: a holiday in the depths of winter in which we put aside the cares of the rest of the year and enjoy a brief reprieve from work and stress. But it's also a time where, all over the world, we indulge ourselves in some pretty odd customs. Yes, you might well think that gobbling down a turkey dinner, hanging stockings and putting gifts under the tree are ubiquitous throughout the world but, to be honest, Christmas traditions are different everywhere. I myself experienced this when I spent Christmas time in Mexico City, and everything I thought I knew about the Christmas season was upended. There, my family ate roast pork leg and chicken salsa tamales and beans. At one point we had to take part in a tradition where we pretended to rock a doll (symbolising an infant Jesus) to sleep with a blanket. It was pretty strange, but also eye-opening. However, there are much more bizarre Christmas customs out there. Check out five prime examples below.
1. The Krampus
Whoever thought that Christmas could get as metal as this? Yeah, in Germany the holidays are a lot more badass than the rest of the world, and if you think the scene below is from a Metallica album, then think again. These guys are actually dressed as the Krampus and his mount. In Germany, the Krampus is an antagonistic, frightening demon. In stark contrast to Father Christmas, who rewards dutiful children, the horned Krampus punishes children by frightening them. In Germany, it's custom for adults to dress up like the Krampus for parades and such. However, the fearsome-looking goat dude isn't as obscure as he used to be, appearing in a feature-length horror movie and in the BBC anthology series Inside Number 9.
2. Caganer
A nativity scene with the baby Jesus, Joseph, Mary and the Three Wise Men in the stable is usually painstakingly crafted and overly cutesy. But in Catalan, however, it's an opportunity for raunchy toilet humour, with these little porcelain/clay statues called "Caganers." These little figurines, which are sometimes made to depict celebrities, are usually inserted into the nativity scene in the act of squatting down and taking a little clay dump. I know, I'm as baffled are you are. Even anthropologists aren't too clear on what a tiny guy taking a crap next to our Lord and saviour is meant to symbolise. Is he a representation of the other? A way of bringing down authority figures? Is he meant to represent the distinction between the sacred and profane? Who knows. What even Catalan? Seriously.
3. Yule Cat
In Iceland, they believe in a festive feline monster called the Yule Cat (Jólakötturinn), a folkloric monster which takes the form of a gigantic and fearsome kitty-cat. The Yule cat allegedly lurks outside the warm homes of the Icelandic people around about Christmas time, finds anyone who isn't wearing new clothes before Christmas Eve and devours them whole. Cute and terrifying! The perfect Christmas tradition. Apparently, stories of the voracious moggy were first employed by farmers centuries ago as an incentive for their workers to finish weaving woollen garments before Christmastime. Those who managed to make their quota would be rewarded with new clothes, but the lazier workers would end up eaten. So you see, Christmas has always been about crass commercialism folks. However, some believe that the Yule Cat isn't truly predatory, and will instead punish slackers by eating all the Christmas food in their house - probably a likelier prospect for all you cat owners.
4. Black Peter
Probably the most controversial item on the list; in the Netherlands, Santa Claus is typically accompanied by a golliwog-like sidekick character dressed in Elizabethan garb and called "Zwarte Piet" (Black Peter). Adults often dress up as Black Peter for Christmas parades, however, in modern times the practice and the character have come under heavy criticism for perceived racism due to the fact that it usually involves white people performing in blackface. It's a sobering reminder that not all Christmas traditions are quite as wonderful as stockings by the fireplace - and that cultural sensitivity can only go so far.
5. La Befana
What's more festive than jolly old Saint Nick bringing presents to kids in the night? Well, in Italy apparently this honour belongs to a wicked old witch on a broomstick. Yes, over there presents are delivered by a haggard old crone called Befana who zooms around the country with a lump of coal for bad kids and presents for good ones. She is also something of a deft housekeeper as well, and may well oblige the household in question by sweeping up after she leaves. Legend has it that Befana was approached by the Three Wise Men after the birth of baby Jesus, and she sheltered them for the night. The Three Wise Men invited her to see baby Jesus with them, but she declined, stating she was too busy with her housework. Now she travels the world in search of the Messiah. Breaks your heart doesn't it?
Sure, these traditions are strange, but I'll tell you what the weirdest Christmas tradition of all is: leaving out a carrot and sherry for some morbidly obese housebreaker. Or nailing old socks to your mantlepiece to stuff oranges into. What kind of nut thought that one up? Or how about the annual tradition of the whole family shouting at each other trying to get the flashing fairy lights to work? Compared to that stuff, the Krampus seems positively wholesome, right?
Christmas is a season for foodie indulgence. In Britain and America, mountains of potatoes, pigs in blankets, buckets of gravy, barrels of wine and, of course, centrepieces of golden turkey mark the pinnacle of the culinary year. However, these nations are not alone in preparing Christmas dinners to die for. Culinary traditions from all over the world have produced some wonderful and, in some cases, weird traditional delicacies. Here’s our collection of the tastiest and strangest global Christmas food traditions.
Puerto Rico
Many of us cannot imagine a Christmas feast without some sort of bird at the centre. In Puerto Rico, however, they have a traditional dish that may be even more stressful to cook than an over-large turkey. Whole suckling pig is roasted by a team of two or more for several hours over an open fire, and then served with coquito - a riff on eggnog featuring coconut cream, condensed milk and rum. Though doubtless delicious, this tradition might be difficult to replicate in a typical kitchen.
In the 1970s, KFC launched an advertising campaign across Japan that would change Christmas tradition forever. The “Christmas Chicken” campaign began after Westerners were discovered turning to fried chicken when they couldn’t source turkey anywhere. Today, The Colonel's produce is integral to a Japanese Christmas. Orders must be placed at least two weeks before the 25th and it is common to see Japanese families on the day itself sitting in KFCs up and down the country, devouring chicken by the bucketload.
Not all Christmas fare is as comforting as KFC. For a more extreme festive dining experience, the bravest foodies need to take a trip to Norway. Here they will find smalahove: whole steamed sheep’s head. When I say whole, I mean whole. According to tradition, the eyes and ears should be eaten first, followed by the brain, and finished with the rest of the meat. Sheep's eyes are surprisingly yet to make their way onto most Christmas dining tables.
Famous for the quality of its beef, Argentina has a mixed and fascinating cultural and culinary heritage. A legacy of significant Italian immigration, a staple of Argentinian food is the dish vitello tonnato, known locally as vitel tone. Featuring veal and a mayonnaise-like sauce, the dish is popular during the summer months for its cool serving temperature.
For many, Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without a good cake, and cakes don’t come much better than the German christstollen. A variant on fruitcake, a stollen features candied fruit, nuts, spices and rum, all coated in a dusting of icing sugar. With a typical cake weighing in at over two kilos, this is one treat guaranteed to fill up the whole family
If a boiled sheep’s head is too tame for some culinary daredevils, a Christmas voyage to Greenland is in order. A traditional seasonal snack, known as mattak, consists of whale blubber wrapped in whale skin. This is nothing compared to the infamous kiviak - baby auks, killed and then left to rot for several months inside a seal carcass. Naturally, both of these treats are eaten raw. Think twice before complaining about your dry turkey.
[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/0ceeh/status/786707979244634112]]
Because of the communal spirit of the season, Christmas cooking has thrown up a number of unique traditions. Depending on your upbringing, some will doubtless appeal more than others. Wherever you are, however, all would undoubtedly make for an intriguing Christmas alternative.
Most of you are probably still clutching your stomachs, jeans unbuttoned and fully unzipped, feeling equally over-stuffed as you are oddly satisfied to be in the food coma you always knew was coming. And while you probably don't want to look at another turkey or slice of ham for a little while, let's talk about one odd Christmas feast tradition, because – how can we not?
Did you know in Japan they eat KFC for dinner at Christmas? Cue: "Wuuuuut?"
Yep, every year around 3.6 million families line up at their local KFC, some having to queue for hours, in order to grab a box of the finger-lickin' chicken to bring home for their traditional holiday feast.
[[instagramwidget||https://twitter.com/KFC_jp/status/944750009962045444]]
But why the heck would they choose fast food over a nice family-cooked meal at home? Well, you've got to remember that Japan isn't a Christian country – it's predominantly Shinto and Buddhist – and so Christmas isn't really a thing there. But, as the whole world becomes increasingly globalised, Christmas has started to become a new kind of tradition for some families there and it just so happens that it now goes hand-in-hand with the American fried chicken chain.
One theory says that foreign visitors in Japan during Christmas time lamented the fact they couldn't find their staple Christmas turkey anywhere, so they went to KFC thinking fried chicken was a good enough substitute. Apparently, the guy who managed Japan's first KFC, Takeshi Okawara, thought of selling a special "party barrel" to offer customers something a little more festive for Christmas time.
[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/taketakumusic/status/812965062839136257]]
But the official story from KFC is that a Christian kindergarten in Japan wanted to order KFC for its kids' Christmas party (I'm sure the parent committee would've had something to say about that) and they insisted the KFC shop manager dress up as Santa Claus when delivering it. The company said more and more schools started ordering KFC for their Christmas parties and in 1974, the chain offered its first special Christmas meal offer.
But however it came about, the marketing plan was genius (and apparently, Okawara eventually went on to become KFC Japan's CEO for 18 years). Some branches have their usual sales skyrocket to 10 times what they normally sell, and a whopping one third of the yearly sales in Japan come from Christmas-time sales. Joonas Rokka, associate professor of marketing at Emlyon Business School in France told the BBC: "It filled a void."
"There was no tradition of Christmas in Japan, and so KFC came in and said this is what you should do on Christmas," he added.
[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/niceguygal/status/812587382520369152]]
"Kurisumasu ni wa Kentakkii", or "Kentucky for Christmas" was a total hit, with people now coming in every year to pick up their Christmas meals from stores with Colonel Sanders standing outside in a red Santa suit. Japanese families usually buy the meal containing a nice, fat bucket of crispy fried chicken that comes with salad, wine and even some cake. But you can also just buy an entire chook if you so prefer.
[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/KFC_jp/status/945112398070890496]]
[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/KFC_jp/status/943043769892454400]]
And you know what? Good on them, it saves you from slaving away in the kitchen for hours only to have your uncle Ron complain that the potatoes aren't as good as last year. Stick a bucket of KFC under his nose next year and see what he says then. Who knows? Maybe he'll warm to the bizarre Japanese tradition too.
We make our own Christmas traditions. However, the more that goes on, the more that can go wrong! The tree falls down, the dog eats the presents, the cat pulls down the lights, your racist old grandmother goes on a tirade after a few sherries, the presents don't arrive in time, someone sets fire to your boat - it really matters not! Absolute anything can go wrong in and around this yearly event. I bet you're worried now, aren't you? Well, ignore that worry and laugh at the following calamities!
[post_page_title]#1 Clean Eating[/post_page_title]
Christmas is a time of receiving the same old gifts year in year out from the same family members. Usually.
[caption id="attachment_4305" align="aligncenter" width="700"]
Credit: Twitter / jellispants[/caption]
The caption really says it all here, kids, and I hope you have truly learned a lesson. It really does bring new meaning to "washing your mouth out with soap" doesn't it?.
[post_page_title]#2 Passive Aggression At Its Absolute Finest[/post_page_title]
'My Parents Made My Wife A Stocking For Christmas' - Spending time with your parents or in-laws, distant family or family friends can be a strain on the mind. Especially if there is some bad blood or you simply can't stand whoever it is sat at your table.
[caption id="attachment_4306" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit" Reddit / akantho[/caption]
However, this goes a little further, especially when you're aware of how a member of your family feels towards your partner. People are petty and Christmas is the jolly time of year for it to reach its peak! I hope dinner went well, akantho!
[post_page_title]#3 Prank or Prophecy?[/post_page_title]
As much as this is very, very, very, very, very - VERY amusing to us, I can't imagine it was initially to the owner of this garage. The dinner is in the over, you come outside to move the car to make room for nana and grandad's needlessly huge car and you find this, but, is there more to it?
[caption id="attachment_4307" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / extcm1[/caption]
People eat a lot of meat at Christmas... Just saying.
[post_page_title]#4 Well, There Goes Christmas Lunch[/post_page_title]
I mean, wow, I honestly would not know how to react if this happened to me. I would likely just stand and stare in complete and utter bewilderment at what lay before me.
[caption id="attachment_4308" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / thejimking[/caption]
If only - A) This was that sugar glass they use in action blockbusters and B) These people had a better understanding of how physics and specifically heat works with glass surfaces!
[post_page_title]#5 Merry Christmas![/post_page_title]
And so we see this image before us, much like the image that may well have brought you here, this won't be the last time something like this graces this list.
[caption id="attachment_4309" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / MainePoster[/caption]
I mean it obviously wasn't the cat now, was it? Cats have absolutely no tendency to wreck things simply because they can...
[post_page_title]#6 Starting Christmas On The Wrong Foot[/post_page_title]
What I adore about these lists is that as much as I enjoy writing a few words here and there to accentuate the hilarity in front of me and ultimately you, sometimes, I simply don't need to.
[caption id="attachment_4310" align="aligncenter" width="700"]
Credit: Reddit / we_re_all_dead[/caption]
All in all, I guess we're just another foot through the floor.
[post_page_title]#7 Brand New Christmas Decorations, Dog Did Not Approve[/post_page_title]
Ah Christmas, ah having to leave to house, ah having pets that you leave in the house while you go out for an indeterminate amount of time.
[caption id="attachment_4311" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / thehuddster123[/caption]
Ah coming home to find the pet has done something and is now skulking in the corner.
[post_page_title]#8 Christmas Dinner Is Ruined[/post_page_title]
Once the presents are done, breakfast and or brunch are done, the family disperses to mess around with their gifts of the day.
[caption id="attachment_4312" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / Aiden2222[/caption]
Once the dinner is in the oven, the gifts of the day become sentient and take Christmas for themselves. Judgment day is upon us.
[post_page_title]#9 I Was Putting Up Christmas Lights On My Roof A While Back When This Happened...[/post_page_title]
When it comes to Christmas decorations, some people truly go all out in a display brighter than the northern lights and tackier than a warehouse full of knock off Faberge Eggs. The effort that goes into Christmas really starts with the decorations and often sets the tone for the season!
[caption id="attachment_4313" align="aligncenter" width="700"]
Credit: Reddit / brend2b[/caption]
Right, so shall I ask for a new ladder, a better one or for someone to - HELP ME OFF THIS F**KING ROOF.
[post_page_title]#10 My Mom Left $300 Unattended, My Nephew (Special Little Kid) Thought It Was Just Papers. Merry Christmas, Mom[/post_page_title]
"Thank god we have that extra three-hundred for food this year, its really going to be something special?"
[caption id="attachment_4314" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / appycapterr[/caption]
*jaw drops to the ground*
[post_page_title]#11 Neighbor Just Tried To Throw His Christmas Tree From The Balcony. Not Sure Where It Should’ve Landed Ideally[/post_page_title]
Something I've always enjoyed is how long people keep their trees up this time of year. Be them fake or real, the time really varies.
Anyway, when comes the time to expel the festive leafy greens from your home, most will simply chop them up or places them on the roadside for collection. Most people...
[caption id="attachment_4318" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / goldquest[/caption]
I wouldn't say this a person having a bad Christmas but this is still a problem, a rather laughable post-festive problem.
[post_page_title]#12 I Ummmm... Uhhhhh... Merry Christmas![/post_page_title]
Here we are, AGAIN.
[caption id="attachment_4319" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / RedPill42[/caption]
Dogs are an absolute mystery. Yet at Christmas, you'd think owners would be far more cautious with what they leave their pets around. I mean, look at that face, I'm sure they were just trying to help with something!
[post_page_title]#14 I Bought My Dog An Advent Calendar, Who Then Explored All 24 Days Of Christmas While I Was Pumping Gas[/post_page_title]
Showering your pets with gifts, treats and all the things you normally wouldn't want them to get too used to is often cast by the wayside at Christmas. In all honesty, they are part of the family after all, so why not?!
Absolutely nothing can go wrong!
... ever!
[caption id="attachment_4320" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / Trair[/caption]
On the first day of Christmas, my owner gave to me... twenty-four days of Christmaaaasssssss!
[post_page_title]#15 Christmas Toy, Meet Dog's Water Bowl. Dog’s Water Bowl, Meet Christmas Toy[/post_page_title]
While we're still on the Christmas adventure that is having a dog, we have a life lesson for you to consider before its all way, way, way too late.
[caption id="attachment_4321" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / AudsOrEvens[/caption]
BE SURE OF THE LOCATION OF YOUR DOG AT ALL TIMES. Christmas is full of joy, amazing food, family and gifted items galore! Dogs are aware of this.
[post_page_title]#16 Hid The Ham From The Dog In The Oven. On A Plastic Carving Tray. Turned The Oven On To Preheat For The Roast Turkey[/post_page_title]
Now, I imagine many of you are now questioning whether it is really worth having a dog? These instances in some way, shape or form can occur all year anyway but apparently are all the more prominent during the festive period and it really must be questioning the issue for all you prospective owners.
[caption id="attachment_4322" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / official_jessicafellowes[/caption]
First off, YES, it is worth having one, just be a little smarter this December. This human was on the right track but once again, the machines have the final say. Where is Sarah Connor when you need her?
[post_page_title]#17 Why The Wife Says We Can No Longer Have A Real Christmas Tree[/post_page_title]
Like many, I grew up with a real tree until the house was decorated and my mother got her way. Those pesky little needles would indeed get everywhere but in reality, it was never really that bad and I never completely understood the fuss of it all. Until now...
[caption id="attachment_4323" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / stehigs321[/caption]
Indeed, yes, completely fair enough! Carry on.
[post_page_title]#18 Got An Interesting Package In The Mail Today. I Have No Idea Who Sent It... Merry Christmas I Guess[/post_page_title]
Unwanted gifts are a staple of Christmas, it happens at least once every year and yet most of the time, they are still in good faith! Most of the time they are and most of the time, a simple smile, nod and a thank you are enough to move past whatever it is that you didn't want.
[caption id="attachment_4325" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / BienGuzman[/caption]
Sometimes, oh sometimes, it's a little... harder.
[post_page_title]#19 Found On Snapchat. Someone Got A Great Christmas Present[/post_page_title]
Carrying over from unwanted gifts, we have those in which the sentiment was present and true, if not a little misguided.
[caption id="attachment_4326" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / Blizzardscissors[/caption]
Imagine this, you've had an absolute clanger of a few weeks and irreparable damage to your life has left you deflated and down-trodden. You visit the family to feel better and distract yourself from it all, only to receive this...
The word "savage" is thrown around a lot these days.
[post_page_title]#20 Scrouge Hound?[/post_page_title]
We all know the story of Ebeneser Scrouge and his hateful attitude towards Christmas, and despite the happy ending of A Christmas Carol, his disdain was real, so real in fact the story of such has clear imprinted on the quadruped in this family.
[caption id="attachment_4327" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / SirMumbleBee[/caption]
Seriously, keep the dogs away from the tree! This has been a cautionary tale.
[post_page_title]#21 Yep, This Just Happened! Very Lucky To Have No Injuries, Just Shattered About My Christmas Ham, Haha[/post_page_title]
Glass tables.
[caption id="attachment_4328" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Instagram / coreyfoxlandscaping[/caption]
Hot dishes.
[post_page_title]#22 Merry Christmas To Me! My Secret Pal Gift At Work Included Live Roaches And Roach Droppings[/post_page_title]
Secret Pal Gift, Secret Santa, the anonymous gift-giving exercise seen in the workplace each yeah is often a fun one. You have no idea what you are going to get, be it a piece of paper with a photo of something nice on it or actually something nice, the ambiguity is part of the fun!
[caption id="attachment_4329" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / amandal0514[/caption]
In this case, the final stage of this little light-hearted team building end of the year exercise was not. At all. *shudder*.
[post_page_title] #23 My Christmas Present [/post_page_title]
For myself, when I was still living at home, getting the game I'd been yearning for on Christmas day would mean running up to my room and immersing myself in whatever fantasy or fictional world I had been gifted. I miss those days!
[caption id="attachment_4330" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / magalz[/caption]
This is completely not what you want to find, personally I would either curl up in a ball and cry or go on a rampage of wanton destruction until I found the culprit! What about you?
[post_page_title]#24 Just About Died Getting This Up And None Of The Lights Work[/post_page_title]
Another for those house-proud builders of awe-inspiring displays or cozy festive homes for the Christmas season, the folly of this entry will likely hit home!
[caption id="attachment_4331" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Instagram rms518[/caption]
That looks lovely too! What a shame!
[post_page_title]#25 My Parents Came Home To Their Christmas Tree This Morning[/post_page_title]
Christmas are beautiful, there is no denying that. However, once again on this list, physics is having some play into why Christmas is ultimately being ruined.
[caption id="attachment_4332" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / FinneganTheGoldenGod[/caption]
Trees, Trees are ROOTED in the ground with ROOTS that support the ever-growing weight as the leafy-boii races to the sky to get as much sunlight as possible. This tree is clearly taller than even a reasonably tall human adult and yet has nothing but a flimsy plant pot to support its weight.
You ruined your own Christmas there my friend!
[post_page_title]#26 This Morning Some Kids Decided To Set Fire To My Boat. Merry Christmas[/post_page_title]
Do you remember my covert mentioning of boats earlier? If you noticed it, then you may well well have experienced some confusion. Boats on fire? Christmas? What?
[caption id="attachment_4333" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / Pedantichrist[/caption]
Strange, I'll give you that but still, not what you need!
[post_page_title]#27 My Dogs Just Knocked Over My Christmas Tree[/post_page_title]
On the third day of Christmas, my woofers gave to me...
[caption id="attachment_4334" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / Squacknog[/caption]
... hindsight via something furryyyyy.
Dog + Christmas = Headache.
[post_page_title]#29 10 Foot Tall Christmas Tree Fell Over Today...[/post_page_title]
Right, so either this was a dog, poor planning on the part of whoever put it up or the spirit of old Scrouge has now got to the trees. You may recognize this from the cover image that again, likely brought you here, it just had to go in, I NEED TO KNOW.
[caption id="attachment_4336" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / SharkFinProgramming[/caption]
Judging from what I can see, getting that tree in the house in the first place seems like a struggle plain and simple. Who needs a 10ft tree INSIDE anyway? It's beautiful and this really, isn't what you want to be dealing with at Christmas but still? Why?
[post_page_title]#30 Got A Flat Tire Last Night Over The Christmas Holidays, Nowhere Is Open To Fix It[/post_page_title]
Family obligations, Christmas is chockful of it! Ferrying loved ones around, ferrying friends around, ferrying in-laws that drive you insane from place to place, someone has to do it! And if it's not this it's rushing to town to get the last of the Christmas comestibles, needless to say, its a busy time of year if you drive!
[caption id="attachment_4338" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit: Reddit / matty111222[/caption]
So with that said, this is not what you need now, is it?
Now if you excuse me, I need to safety proof my Christmas! Have a good one!
It is said that we make our own Christmas traditions. In the picture above, for example, this family obviously has waffles for their breakfast pre or post-super-fun-presents-time. You'll likely find that in most households there will be something akin to this localized tradition and that's great, it's fun and special for those involved.
However! What this also suggests, insinuates and often makes really quite down-right obvious is that the more that goes on, the more that can go wrong! The tree falls down, the dog eats the presents, the cat pulls down the lights, your racist old grandmother goes on a tirade after a few sherries, the presents don't arrive in time, someone sets fire to your boat - it really matters not! Absolute anything can go wrong in and around this yearly event.
I bet you're worried now, aren't you? Well, ignore that worry and laugh at the following calamities!
Christmas is a time of receiving the same old gifts year in year out from the same family members. Usually.
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Twitter / jellispants]]
The caption really says it all here, kids, and I hope you have truly learned a lesson. It really does bring new meaning to "washing your mouth out with soap" doesn't it?.
[[pagebreak]]
[post_page_title]#2 Passive Aggression At Its Absolute Finest[/post_page_title]
'My Parents Made My Wife A Stocking For Christmas' - Spending time with your parents or in-laws, distant family or family friends can be a strain on the mind. Especially if there is some bad blood or you simply can't stand whoever it is sat at your table.
[[imagecaption|| Credit" Reddit / akantho]]
However, this goes a little further, especially when you're aware of how a member of your family feels towards your partner. People are petty and Christmas is the jolly time of year for it to reach its peak! I hope dinner went well, akantho!
[[pagebreak]]
[post_page_title]#3 Prank or Prophecy?[/post_page_title]
As much as this is very, very, very, very, very - VERY amusing to us, I can't imagine it was initially to the owner of this garage. The dinner is in the over, you come outside to move the car to make room for nana and grandad's needlessly huge car and you find this, but, is there more to it?
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / extcm1]]
People eat a lot of meat at Christmas... Just saying.
[[pagebreak]]
[post_page_title]#4 Well, There Goes Christmas Lunch[/post_page_title]
I mean, wow, I honestly would not know how to react if this happened to me. I would likely just stand and stare in complete and utter bewilderment at what lay before me.
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / thejimking]]
If only - A) This was that sugar glass they use in action blockbusters and B) These people had a better understanding of how physics and specifically heat works with glass surfaces!
And so we see this image before us, much like the image that may well have brought you here, this won't be the last time something like this graces this list.
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / MainePoster]]
I mean it obviously wasn't the cat now, was it? Cats have absolutely no tendency to wreck things simply because they can...
[[pagebreak]]
[post_page_title]#6 Starting Christmas On The Wrong Foot[/post_page_title]
What I adore about these lists is that as much as I enjoy writing a few words here and there to accentuate the hilarity in front of me and ultimately you, sometimes, I simply don't need to.
Ah coming home to find the pet has done something and is now skulking in the corner.
[[pagebreak]]
[post_page_title]#8 Christmas Dinner Is Ruined[/post_page_title]
Once the presents are done, breakfast and or brunch are done, the family disperses to mess around with their gifts of the day.
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / Aiden2222]]
Once the dinner is in the oven, the gifts of the day become sentient and take Christmas for themselves. Judgment day is upon us.
[[pagebreak]]
[post_page_title]#9 I Was Putting Up Christmas Lights On My Roof A While Back When This Happened...[/post_page_title]
When it comes to Christmas decorations, some people truly go all out in a display brighter than the northern lights and tackier than a warehouse full of knock off Faberge Eggs. The effort that goes into Christmas really starts with the decorations and often sets the tone for the season!
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / brend2b]]
Right, so shall I ask for a new ladder, a better one or for someone to - HELP ME OFF THIS F**KING ROOF.
[[pagebreak]]
[post_page_title]#10 My Mom Left $300 Unattended, My Nephew (Special Little Kid) Thought It Was Just Papers. Merry Christmas, Mom[/post_page_title]
"Thank god we have that extra three-hundred for food this year, its really going to be something special?"
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / appycapterr]]
*jaw drops to the ground*
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[post_page_title]#11 Neighbor Just Tried To Throw His Christmas Tree From The Balcony. Not Sure Where It Should’ve Landed Ideally[/post_page_title]
Something I've always enjoyed is how long people keep their trees up this time of year. Be them fake or real, the time really varies.
Anyway, when comes the time to expel the festive leafy greens from your home, most will simply chop them up or places them on the roadside for collection. Most people...
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / goldquest]]
I wouldn't say this a person having a bad Christmas but this is still a problem, a rather laughable post-festive problem.
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[post_page_title]#12 I Ummmm... Uhhhhh... Merry Christmas![/post_page_title]
Here we are, AGAIN.
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / RedPill42]]
Dogs are an absolute mystery. Yet at Christmas, you'd think owners would be far more cautious with what they leave their pets around. I mean, look at that face, I'm sure they were just trying to help with something! [[pagebreak]]
[post_page_title]#14 I Bought My Dog An Advent Calendar, Who Then Explored All 24 Days Of Christmas While I Was Pumping Gas[/post_page_title]
Showering your pets with gifts, treats and all the things you normally wouldn't want them to get too used to is often cast by the wayside at Christmas. In all honesty, they are part of the family after all, so why not?!
Absolutely nothing can go wrong!
... ever!
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / Trair]]
On the first day of Christmas, my owner gave to me... twenty-four days of Christmaaaasssssss!
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[post_page_title]#15 Christmas Toy, Meet Dog's Water Bowl. Dog’s Water Bowl, Meet Christmas Toy[/post_page_title]
While we're still on the Christmas adventure that is having a dog, we have a life lesson for you to consider before its all way, way, way too late.
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / AudsOrEvens]]
BE SURE OF THE LOCATION OF YOUR DOG AT ALL TIMES. Christmas is full of joy, amazing food, family and gifted items galore! Dogs are aware of this.
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[post_page_title]#16 Hid The Ham From The Dog In The Oven. On A Plastic Carving Tray. Turned The Oven On To Preheat For The Roast Turkey[/post_page_title]
Now, I imagine many of you are now questioning whether it is really worth having a dog? These instances in some way, shape or form can occur all year anyway but apparently are all the more prominent during the festive period and it really must be questioning the issue for all you prospective owners.
First off, YES, it is worth having one, just be a little smarter this December. This human was on the right track but once again, the machines have the final say. Where is Sarah Connor when you need her?
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[post_page_title]#17 Why The Wife Says We Can No Longer Have A Real Christmas Tree[/post_page_title]
Like many, I grew up with a real tree until the house was decorated and my mother got her way. Those pesky little needles would indeed get everywhere but in reality, it was never really that bad and I never completely understood the fuss of it all. Until now...
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / stehigs321]]
Indeed, yes, completely fair enough! Carry on.
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[post_page_title]#18 Got An Interesting Package In The Mail Today. I Have No Idea Who Sent It... Merry Christmas I Guess[/post_page_title]
Unwanted gifts are a staple of Christmas, it happens at least once every year and yet most of the time, they are still in good faith! Most of the time they are and most of the time, a simple smile, nod and a thank you are enough to move past whatever it is that you didn't want.
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / BienGuzman]]
Sometimes, oh sometimes, it's a little... harder.
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[post_page_title]#19 Found On Snapchat. Someone Got A Great Christmas Present[/post_page_title]
Carrying over from unwanted gifts, we have those in which the sentiment was present and true, if not a little misguided.
Imagine this, you've had an absolute clanger of a few weeks and irreparable damage to your life has left you deflated and down-trodden. You visit the family to feel better and distract yourself from it all, only to receive this...
The word "savage" is thrown around a lot these days.
We all know the story of Ebeneser Scrouge and his hateful attitude towards Christmas, and despite the happy ending of A Christmas Carol, his disdain was real, so real in fact the story of such has clear imprinted on the quadruped in this family.
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / SirMumbleBee]]
Seriously, keep the dogs away from the tree! This has been a cautionary tale.
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[post_page_title]#21 Yep, This Just Happened! Very Lucky To Have No Injuries, Just Shattered About My Christmas Ham, Haha[/post_page_title]
[post_page_title]#22 Merry Christmas To Me! My Secret Pal Gift At Work Included Live Roaches And Roach Droppings[/post_page_title]
Secret Pal Gift, Secret Santa, the anonymous gift-giving exercise seen in the workplace each yeah is often a fun one. You have no idea what you are going to get, be it a piece of paper with a photo of something nice on it or actually something nice, the ambiguity is part of the fun!
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / amandal0514]]
In this case, the final stage of this little light-hearted team building end of the year exercise was not. At all. *shudder*.
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[post_page_title] #23 My Christmas Present [/post_page_title]
For myself, when I was still living at home, getting the game I'd been yearning for on Christmas day would mean running up to my room and immersing myself in whatever fantasy or fictional world I had been gifted. I miss those days!
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / magalz]]
This is completely not what you want to find, personally I would either curl up in a ball and cry or go on a rampage of wanton destruction until I found the culprit! What about you?
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[post_page_title]#24 Just About Died Getting This Up And None Of The Lights Work[/post_page_title]
Another for those house-proud builders of awe-inspiring displays or cozy festive homes for the Christmas season, the folly of this entry will likely hit home!
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Instagram rms518]]
That looks lovely too! What a shame!
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[post_page_title]#25 My Parents Came Home To Their Christmas Tree This Morning[/post_page_title]
Christmas are beautiful, there is no denying that. However, once again on this list, physics is having some play into why Christmas is ultimately being ruined.
Trees, Trees are ROOTED in the ground with ROOTS that support the ever-growing weight as the leafy-boii races to the sky to get as much sunlight as possible. This tree is clearly taller than even a reasonably tall human adult and yet has nothing but a flimsy plant pot to support its weight.
You ruined your own Christmas there my friend!
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[post_page_title]#26 This Morning Some Kids Decided To Set Fire To My Boat. Merry Christmas[/post_page_title]
Do you remember my covert mentioning of boats earlier? If you noticed it, then you may well well have experienced some confusion. Boats on fire? Christmas? What?
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / Pedantichrist]]
Strange, I'll give you that but still, not what you need!
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[post_page_title]#27 My Dogs Just Knocked Over My Christmas Tree[/post_page_title]
On the third day of Christmas, my woofers gave to me...
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / Squacknog]]
... hindsight via something furryyyyy.
Dog + Christmas = Headache.
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[post_page_title]#29 10 Foot Tall Christmas Tree Fell Over Today...[/post_page_title]
Right, so either this was a dog, poor planning on the part of whoever put it up or the spirit of old Scrouge has now got to the trees. You may recognize this from the cover image that again, likely brought you here, it just had to go in, I NEED TO KNOW.
Judging from what I can see, getting that tree in the house in the first place seems like a struggle plain and simple. Who needs a 10ft tree INSIDE anyway? It's beautiful and this really, isn't what you want to be dealing with at Christmas but still? Why?
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[post_page_title]#30 Got A Flat Tire Last Night Over The Christmas Holidays, Nowhere Is Open To Fix It[/post_page_title]
Family obligations, Christmas is chockful of it! Ferrying loved ones around, ferrying friends around, ferrying in-laws that drive you insane from place to place, someone has to do it! And if it's not this it's rushing to town to get the last of the Christmas comestibles, needless to say, its a busy time of year if you drive!
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Reddit / matty111222]]
So with that said, this is not what you need now, is it?
Now if you excuse me, I need to safety proof my Christmas! Have a good one!
Let's be real – as much as Christmas is about spending time with your loved ones, appreciating the kindness in the world and how good brussels sprouts actually are – Christmas is competitive.
You want to be recognised as the best and most thoughtful gift-giver in your family, and decorative lighting on house facades is something of a sport in your neighbourhood. Everyone wants to pick the best tree of the lot, and your mother would have a breakdown if you told her that you've eaten a better roast ham than hers.
And if you're mad at a co-worker for having upstaged you last year by wearing a Christmas jumper that was the perfect mix of festive and funny, replete with actual reindeer wool and functioning christmas lights (way to go overboard, Sharon), it's now your turn to show her how it's done.
Introducing: the "reindeer boob".
[[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BcUWSACFGZT/]]
This new trend is perfect for those of you feeling a little more naughty than nice this year. All you have to do is cut a hole in your Christmas jumper (steal Sharon's if you can) so that your boob can peep out. Stick some googly eyes on, maybe some antlers if you're feeling extra fancy, and make sure to cover up with a big, red glowing nose so as not to frighten anyone who doesn't believe that women have nipples.
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Looks cute, right?
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The trend seems to be making waves all over the world, so don't be surprised if someone comes to your Christmas do with one of their mammary glands flopped out and dolled up as well. I imagine that a lot of people would have trouble knowing which pair of eyes to look into when talking – yours, or the reindeer boobs?
[[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BcSsq1Hjn0u/?tagged=reindeerboob]]
To show all reindeers out there that it's not only the "original" Rudolf that people care about, reindeer boobs come in all shapes and sizes.
[[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BOUKdqYAN-m/?tagged=reindeerboob]]
It looks like everyone's getting in on the trend, even the dudes.
[[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BOGy7Ygj8-t/?tagged=reindeerboob]]
Ah, it's the most wonderful time of the year, isn't it?
The look is certainly attention-grabbing, and anyone who doesn't select you for "best dressed" at your Christmas party needs to learn a thing or two about the way trends work.
But if you're not feeling quite risqué enough to pull off the reindeer boob, you can always go for the other festive look that's in vogue this year - Christmas tree brows.
[[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BcUpkiCjPaS/?taken-by=taytay_xx]]
They've even got little ornaments and a gold star up top!
Or maybe this Santa hat look is more your cup of tea?
[[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BcVAVwQlFiy/?tagged=christmasbrows]]
Whatever your style is, you can't say you're short of inspiration to help you bag that special prize. Now go, get your game face on and start putting together your look. The devil is in the detail.
And Merry Christmas, or should I say... Merry tit-mas.
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