In the home of pizza, there is really only one acceptable way to serve the classic dish.
As many Neapolitans will be quick to inform you, the archetypal “margherita”, bedecked with the red (tomato), white (mozzarella) and green (basil) of the Italian flag is the only thing that can be truly considered a pizza. Anything else, while in many cases delicious, is a bastardization of this pure form.
While the addition of ingredients such as ham, mushroom, pepperoni and olives may be scoffed at in certain conservative backstreets of Naples, there are other toppings so shocking and so egregious that they would outrage anyone who has the slightest respect for pizza heritage. They may be tasty, but they’re not traditional! Here’s our collection of common pizza toppings that will divide a room and outrage the whole of Italy.
The elephant in the room with every group pizza order. The ghost at the feast. The turd in the hamper. There’s always someone who secretly wants to bring fruit to a cheese fight. It is a sin. However, like all sins, there will be those who fall into temptation, and so the debate will rage on.
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While any shellfish is a questionable and controversial addition, the one thing that we can say with total certainty is that pizza should NOT be covered in shells. Pizza is for messy, no nonsense attacking, not fiddling around prising open mollusc husks. We don’t care how they taste - no shells!
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I don’t want to think about my breakfast when I have a pizza. Be they hard boiled, soft boiled or not at all boiled, eggs should keep well away from the pizzeria. We hereby decree that eggs must keep at least 50ft from pizza at all times or face indefinite detention. You have been warned.
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No-one tastes a pizza and thinks, “needs more carbs”. The stodgy spud is a surefire way to ruin what should be a happy indulgence with excessive, digestion-halting carbification. While pizza and fries are (of course) acceptable, the whole slabs of potato that are becoming worryingly prevalent atop pizzas everywhere need to be stopped as a matter of urgency.
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I’m yet to meet a chef who works with spinach for its bold, distinctive, powerful flavour. So why have it anywhere near a pizza?! I don’t want to be health conscious when chowing down on a cheese covered mountain of bread. Be gone spinach! You bring nothing to this party.
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What we’ve discussed so far could be debatable. There will be some of you who adore clams (heathens) and swear by pineapple (heretics). But what no one can deny is that the abomination that is the chocolate pizza must be purged. Fetch the holy water! Back to the pit, foul demon spawn - the power of crust compels you!
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Of course, at Twisted we’re all for progress. There are many additions to pizza that are totally inspired and have consequently benefited the whole of humanity. We encourage invention, but some things are just plain wrong. Even we have our limits.
