It's hard to believe, but in just a few short weeks, the year will come to an end. It sure went by fast, didn't it?
It's only natural to to look back on the last twelve months. Maybe you started an exciting new job, or maybe you got fired for stealing office supplies. Maybe you got married to the love of your life, or maybe you got divorced, because your partner caught you in bed with the love of your life. Maybe you took an exciting trip around the world, or maybe you just tripped and fell down some stairs. Whether you had a good year or a bad year, one thing's for sure: It could always be worse.
When asked if they had a bad year, these eight people shared their terrible (but hilarious) stories. Here's hoping that the next year brings these poor folks better times.
1. I doo-doo
"I had severe diarrhea during my wedding. My husband was reading his vows, and all of a sudden liquid crap started flowing out of me. My wedding dress had a long tail, and the crap caught the tail. When I finally ran off to get changed 20 minutes later, the tail left a streak of crap all over the ground."
2. Free refills
"I worked in a restaurant where we'd leave empty glasses on the table. A woman in the restaurant didn't feel well and started to vomit, but instead of running to the bathroom, she started grabbing the empty water glasses and throwing up into them. She filled all the glasses on her table and even started grabbing them from others. She filled about five glasses with her vomit in the middle of the restaurant and left them on the table for the server to clean up. The worst part? She didn't even tip."
3. Close family
"I was asked out by a cute coworker. He picked me up at my house and came inside to introduce himself to my parents. My grandma happened to be there and said, 'Eric, it’s so great to see you. I just had coffee with your mom.' I asked my grandma how she could possibly know Eric, and she said, 'His mom and I are cousins.' We had absolutely no idea we were related, but we were so glad she was there to tell us. We totally dodged a bullet and swore to never tell anyone at work what happened."
4. Lend me your ear
"I let a girl in my college dorm pierce my cartilage with a gun she bought off the internet. I thought I was the coolest, but I ended up with a serious infection and flesh-eating bacteria that ate away the tip of my ear. I definitely learned an important lesson: Go to a professional so you don't lose any body parts!"
5. Photo finish
"My boyfriend had all of our pictures from Disneyland on his laptop. While going through the pics to surprise him with a personalized card for Valentine's Day, I came across naked photos from multiple women who he was texting and messaging with. Needless to say, we're no longer together."
6. Just desserts
"At my old part-time job, I worked with a girl who'd eat other people's food from the fridge. Of course, this gal would always eat my yogurt, so I started intentionally bringing in expired yogurts for her. She never visibly noticed, but it was satisfying for me to know she was eating week-old dairy products."
7. Free fish
"I had an internship at an aquarium in Chicago. I was cleaning the room behind several of our very large fish tanks and knocked over a big, heavy pipe, breaking a huge hole in the tank glass. Water came pouring out as I unsuccessfully tried to stem the flow with my hands and screamed for help. The fish had to be 'evacuated' to other tanks, and the exhibit was out of order for weeks. Luckily no animals died."
8. Naked and afraid
"One day my friend with benefits and I decided to [go] on a nature walk and get busy. As we rounded the bases and things got heavy, he went to fully take off his pants, but he tripped over himself, right over the ledge of a small cliff. I had to take him to the hospital. Luckily he was totally fine."
Luckily, on January 1st, the slate will be wiped clean. We all will get a chance to start fresh. And if you have another bad year, so what? Remember, we only have a
limited time on this crazy planet. We should enjoy the good times and the bad times. To quote the late author Kurt Vonnegut, "I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different."
