For a relationship to work out, it's important for a couple to have compatibility. This applies in every field: emotionally, intellectually, and - of course - physically. In other words, you've got to be able to give your partner good conversation, good support, and
a good time.
Unfortunately, it's pretty easy for couples to end up with a mismatch in the physical department. Sometimes this is because two people just don't have the same interests, but, most often, it's because they're not quite on the same skill level.
But how do you know whether you're not
satisfying your partner? Well, if you're really terrible, they'll probably just come out and tell you. But, on the off-chance that your other half isn't that mean, or you're only a little bit awful, here are some warning signs you might want to look out for that you might be bad in the sack...
1. You don't cuddle afterwards
If the big finale is promptly followed up by your partner rolling over and going to sleep, it's pretty safe to say you messed up somehow. Sex isn't just about scoring the big O, it's also about the intimate moments before and after. So if you miss out on the after, you might want to ask your other half for some pointers on how you could improve.
2. They give you too much feedback...
Getting the odd pointer here and there isn't bad at all - in fact, it's a good sign that your partner is comfortable enough with you and knows you can adapt to their needs. However, if the whole experience is running to a soundtrack of them saying, "No, not like that," then you need to get studying.
3. Or not enough
On the other hand, if your partner just lays there like a log the entire time, they probably aren't too thrilled about what's currently happening. Communication is key in all parts of a relationship, but especially in the bedroom.
4. You always do the same routine
If you find yourself constantly doing the same things at the same part of your sexy Spotify playlist, you seriously need to rethink something (and it ain't the tracklist). Doing the deed shouldn't be a rehearsed performance, but more of a freestyle kinda gig. You have to adapt to what your partner is doing and/or feeling - so look out for their signs to direct you on what to do.
5. They make excuses not to sleep with you
So, this one is pretty obvious. If your significant other always seems to develop a mysterious headache when it's time to wind down for bed, or is already snoring into their pillow when you're about to say goodnight - they're avoiding you for some reason. Now, I'm not saying this for certain, but the reason could be that you kinda suck in bed. Sorry.
6. They talk about other fantasies A LOT
Discussing fantasies with the person you're intimate with is pretty much expected in a relationship (after all, how are you going to find out what you both want unless you talk about it?). But, if their fantasies are pretty vanilla, and you aren't doing it for them, then you're not giving them the satisfaction they want. Don't put them in an awkward situation where they literally have to ask you to do something for them - just listen to what they want and work with it if you can.
7. They end up with an injury
For some reason, it's become a movie stereotype that "good" sex leaves a lot of people in pain. This is ridiculous. Unless you deliberately set out to injure someone (which is totally cool if both people are into it), your other half shouldn't be limping out of bed afterwards.
8. You rush into it
As I mentioned way back in point number one, there is a before and an after to sex - not just the main event. The human body has to prepare itself for this kind of thing, and rushing in there too quickly is not going to be particularly fun for either of you. Take it slow and you'll make the party last longer for everyone.
9. They're faking it
If your roommates don't know the difference between the sounds that come from your room when you're watching porn, and those that happen when you've got a special "friend" over, then they're faking it. They're only doing it to be nice to you, though, so at least you know they like you.
Basically, as long as you listen to your partner and pick up on the signs they're giving you, you should be all good. And, if you're confident enough to literally mash genitals with another person, you should have the guts to talk to them about
the experience, too. So just give it a go.
