9 words every woman wants to hear from their partner in the bedroom

1. "Yes"

It might sound kind of redundant, but DeAnna Lorraine, a dating coach based in Los Angeles, says that showing certainty and decisiveness can be the key to unlocking your lady's arousal. "When a man speaks like that—‘yes’ or ‘absolutely’—it shows that certainty." She continued: "If she lets out a moan and you say, ‘yes,’ it gives her permission to go even deeper into her pleasure. It helps her let go."

2. "Tight"

Once you're actually inside there, "tight" is a really good word for saying to your love partner: "I am very much enjoying this sexual intercourse. It arouses me greatly." Lorraine says this is a very powerful word, and does a great job of making a woman feel "virgin-esque" to her man. "It’s assurance that she’s making her man feel good and he’s aroused."

3. "Wet"

For a guy, it's pretty difficult to hide the fact that you're turned on. The second blood flows to the right places, there's a fleshy signpost saying so right there in your pants, but for women, the process of arousal is a bit more complicated. It might sound a little weird to turn your lover on by accusing her of already being turned on, but that's exactly what Jaiya, a sex educator, suggests, saying: "the brain sometimes doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what isn’t. When you tell a woman, ‘You’re getting so wet,’ her body will respond."

4. Her name

Saying your lover's name in bed is clearly better than saying, for example, the name of the parakeet you owned when you were eight years old, but Lorraine describes female arousal as "narcissistic", so why not play into that a little bit? "Hearing her name makes her feel special. It’s about her, like, you’re the irresistible one. You’re the one with the magic hoo-hoo. It’s not about someone random."

5. "You"

Anybody can be turned on, but I'm sure your partner will feel a lot better if she knows that she's the one making you feel good in all the right places. "She wants to know that there’s something about her that is arousing to you," reveals Arlene Goldman Ph.D., a sex therapist in Philadelphia, while Jaiya agrees, saying: "Tell her how she’s affecting you. That lets a woman know she is desired."

6. "C**k"

At some point in the act of dirty talk, you're going to have to reference your penis in some way, shape or form. When that time comes, you'll be tempted to use the scientific nomenclature, or christen your penis with some ridiculous creative name, but instead of asking if the S.S. Loveboat can make its way to port, Jaiya suggests using the word "c**k" to turn your woman on the most. "Dick is more derogatory, like, ‘He’s a dick,’ or it’s a joke word," she muses. "But c**k is very strong and masculine."

7. "Need"

Tapping into your love partner's feelings of desire is of course integral to a mutually pleasurable experience, and in a way, the best way to get your significant other to feel that desire is to express your own. “We want to know you’re going crazy for us,” Lorraine says, and if you don't believe her, why don't you try it out? Say to your girl: "I need you right now," and see what happens. It's also the only time you should ever quote Kanye West while in the bedroom.

8. "Come"

Obviously, the way you want it to mean is spelled differently, but it'll make literally no difference when you say it out loud. Similar to how telling a girl that she's wet can help her to actually be wet, Jaiya says that by playing with orgasm control (for example, telling your lover: "You’re not allowed to come"), you can play with a power dynamic, and that "can be really hot". This is also backed up in a study from the journal Sexuality & Culture, which says that "come" is the only word in the English language "simultaneously conveys desire, pleasure, orgasm, and loss of control."

9. "Love"

Now, if you're not actually in love with the woman in question here, it wouldn't be great to say that you in fact do love them, but by saying that you love their body, or the way they move, you can really make her happy in the best possible way. "The connotation of ‘love’ is intense and special," says Arlene Goldman, and we're inclined to agree. "’I like the way you look’ is lukewarm, but ‘I love the way you look’ sounds very positive and passionate."