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Against The Odds3 min(s) read
A brave mom has spoken out about surviving a violent relationship with a controlling boyfriend who made her tattoo his name on her body nine times.
Nicola Frost, 32, endured an onslaught of domestic abuse throughout her six-year relationship with 31-year-old Aaron James Wharton.
After telling Nicola that he was going to "control every aspect of her life", the mom was forced to endure both physical and mental abuse. During one three-hour attack, the mom was left battered and bruised after being punched, kicked, and strangled, as Wharton held a knife to her face.
WATCH: Nicola recall recalls her abusive relationship:
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As well as requiring Wharton's permission to leave the house and to send him pictures of her outfits, Nicola was also made to get nine tattoos of his name on her body, with one reading: "Property of AJ Wharton".
She revealed that the tattoos - some of which were just his initials - were to ensure "nobody else would touch her" because she was "his property".
After reporting Wharton to the police, he has since been found guilty of causing actual bodily harm in relation to an attack on Nicola back in February of 2019.
Last Friday (August 21) Wharton appeared at Northampton Crown Court, where he was sentenced to 21 months in prison. He was also handed a 10-year restraining order, banning him from contacting Nicola.
Now, Nicola has bravely spoken out about the horrendous abuse she suffered through.
She says that early on in their relationship, Wharton had originally made her feel "like a princess", before he started to change his behavior.
Nicola soon found herself trapped in a spiral of escalating mental and physical torture, where she was banned from social media and alienated from her friends and family.
The mom-of-five (two of which are with Wharton), from Northampton, England, said: "The first year was perfect. He treated me like a princess. But the next five years were a living hell.
“He just changed. I don’t know what it was. I think he waited for me to get comfortable and knew I wasn’t going anywhere.
"There was emotional abuse - all types of abuse. He controlled every aspect of my life.
"Even if I just went to the shop I had to ask for permission and I had to take a picture of myself and what I was wearing. If I’d done my hair and makeup he would call me a slag.
"All the years I was with him he cut me off from my family and friends.
"If I called them I’d have to delete the call log on my phone or he’d knock the phone out of my hands and smash it.
"He was living round the corner and could see my house from his. He would try to stop me having friends round.
“He could control everything - where I went and who I would speak to. He would take my bank card off me. He was a 100% narcissist.
"My problem was I thought I had no one, because he made me believe I only had him.
"I treated him like a king - I would run his bath, cook him dinner, and iron his shirts. I’d do whatever he wanted.
"But he would hit me multiple times and stepped on my face quite regularly, punch me and slap me, and throw me against the walls.
"He gave me a black eye and split lip a few times, but I was too scared to tell anyone and he knew I didn’t have anyone else."
Speaking of the nine tattoos she was forced to get, Nicola says that she knows it is "crazy", but adds: "If I didn't do it there would be repercussions. Sometimes I’d laugh when he said what tattoo he wanted me to get and I’d get a slap from him.
"I'm in the process of getting them covered up as I don't need the constant reminder of him. I've had four done so far but it costs a lot."
Nicola has since completed domestic abuse courses, which have helped her notice the "little traps" Wharton would use to get her to stay with him. One of these was proposing to her and promising Nicola that they would one day get married.
"This was one of his ways of keeping control on me," she said. "He is a predator and very clever, he knows what he is doing. But I didn't fall for it and we stayed separated.
"He didn’t let me on social media during our relationship and I set up a Facebook page after we’d split up. He used one of his friends’ accounts to find me.
"He was so angry and said: ‘You’re only doing that to get f*****d’. He said no one was going to touch me because I’ve got five kids and I’m covered in his name."
After breaking up with Wharton in 2018, the doting mom revealed that she still tried to be civil with him for the sake of their children. This was until his violent attack in February last year.
Recalling the appalling ordeal, Nicola said Wharton flew into a drunken rage following a night out and only stopped the brutal assault when he fell asleep.
She said: "He knocked at my door at 3:00AM, he looked upset so I let him in. I regret doing so to this day.
"He punched me in the face within minutes. He put a knife to my face and cut my cheek. It was like he was possessed.
"He was angry I was getting on with my life and he couldn’t let go. He was saying I was his property.
"He started hitting me with multiple punches, knocked me to the floor and started kicking me. It didn’t matter if I was up or down, he would hit me
"I tried to protect myself by bringing my hands and arms over my face. He was drunk and if he hadn’t fallen asleep I don’t think I’d be here today.
"I was trying to keep quiet so not to wake the two girls up - one was 16 months at the time and the other was about three.
"But one punch was too painful for that and I screamed. He had punched my head against a wall then my head banged back against his fist in a triple blow.
"The next thing I heard was one of my children screaming. I somehow got up and ran upstairs to calm them down.
"I said I had been silly and fallen down the stairs. I didn’t want them to realize what had gone on because they are babies, but I think they know now.
"The next day he acted as if nothing had happened and went into the kitchen to make the kids breakfast.
"He later said to me: 'I can’t believe I did that to you, I’m sorry. But you deserved it.' Then he slapped me again.
"There were bruises all over my face, arms, and legs. I had blurred vision for three weeks and I think my eye socket is damaged. I still have migraines and headaches."
The mom then revealed how Wharton never thought Nicola would testify against him - but she did; bravely standing in court and giving evidence against her thug ex.
Nevertheless, despite Wharton being found guilty, Nicola has been left disappointed by the "disgusting" 21-month prison sentence. "No amount of time can repay what he has done to me and my kids," she said.
She added: "Knowing he is going to get out in a year means it is not long enough. People like him don’t change.
"There’s no one he can’t charm and he’ll make them believe he’s changed in prison, but he’ll always be a narcissist."
Courageous Nicola said she wanted to share her experience of domestic abuse in an effort to help other victims realize that there is a way out.
She said: "There are so many people in abusive relationships who can’t speak out. Now I can, I am trying to help someone else by doing so.
"People need to know the signs and see it as abuse and to not doubt themselves, follow through and get out.
"I would love to campaign on this and raise awareness for women and men all over the world in abusive relationships.
"I’d like to see increased funding for domestic abuse victims. There are charities like Women’s Aid but they don’t have enough.
"It'd be great if I can help one person, but I'd like to help multiple people.
"The effect on me has been long-standing. Sometimes I don't even trust my own family and I shudder when someone raises a hand.
"I am now un-training myself from what he trained me to be, mainly not having to ask permission to do anything.
"But now I can understand myself better and get on with my life because he’s in prison."
Thank you for speaking out, Nicola - you are truly an inspiration!
