Throwing is for fools. Why waste precious energy flinging something small and hard when you could be spending your time contemplating American foreign policy or composing immortal verse? Chucking balls is obviously an unwelcome distraction from the truly important things in life.
Thankfully for anyone who considers balls well below their station, famed faux-weapon producer Nerf has come up with a cunning solution. Say goodbye to constant bending and lobbing - now you can simply fire projectiles out of a gun as you pontificate over the economy.
Introducing the Nerf Dog Tennis Ball Launcher. (Much more civilized than throwing, I’m sure you’ll agree.)
The gadget, which has been hailed as a panacea for dog-owners with dodgy elbows, claims to be able to launch tennis balls "up to 50ft" - as per the description on Amazon.
To make things even more exciting, the ball blaster also provides "adjustable power, (so) you can easily change the distance of your shots and adapt to any environment, whether it is a big park or a small garden." Lock and load.
Check Out This Clip Of The Blasters In Action:In addition to the variable power options, the blaster is also incredibly easy to use. As it states on Amazon:
"Say goodbye to slobbery tennis balls because the unique design allows you to pick up the tennis ball hands-free. All you have to do is place the barrel on the tennis ball and it picks up. Press the button on the orange and pull back the orange loader on top of the barrel. Once loaded, pull the trigger and let the fun begin!"
Given that the product combines two of America’s primary interests in dogs and shooting, it’s understandable that it’s been reviewed very positively. Over half of the 900 or so reviews on Amazon give a 5-star rating, suggesting that the blaster’s bite is just as big as its bark. If it proves popular, dog owners everywhere could be about to become armed and dangerous en masse. Stick ‘em pup.
