It's time to decorate your home for Christmas, stringing festive lights along the walls, festooning your doors with red-ribboned wreaths and lining your hallways with terrifying 'blood trees.' But if you own a cat, all those garnishes are in instant peril, especially your Christmas tree. Cats love to swat the ornaments, get tangled up in tinsel and bury deep inside the prickly pine branches.
If you're tired of cleaning up after your cat's wild antics, British retailer Argos has offered a solution: a 'half-Christmas tree.' The artificial tree stands six feet tall, but the branches start halfway up. It's designed to discourage naughty kitties come wreaking havoc on your festooned holiday sapling. The half-bald tree is fire retardant, made out of PVC, and is currently on sale for $42.47 (£33.33), which is 25% off its original price.Get in the mood for Christmas with Netflix's seasonal offerings:
The product description reads: "Keep your perfectly placed baubles, bows and bells out of reach of curious, crawling kids or your cats’ playful paws with this 6ft parasol tree. If Santa’s been extra generous, there’s plenty of room to stack pressies underneath rather than scattering them around it. It’s also a great alternative to the traditional tree if you’re a tad tight for space."
Unfortunately, it looks like this 'cat-proof,' 'child-proof,' Christmas tree is only available in the U.K. But maybe if becomes popular, Argos will start selling it in other countries. Or maybe an American retailer will create a knock-off version. Actually, if you're feeling crafty, I suppose you could create your own knock-off version, by chopping off half the branches. Get out the shears!
I'm a little skeptical this tree is 'cat-proof,' though. My sister has cats, and she says they can jump 4-5 feet. And according to an exhaustive two-second search on the internet, the average cat can jump 8 feet. So, I guess the best solution would be create a 10-foot tree, with half its branches gone? That would look pretty weird. The 'half Christmas tree' looks pretty odd too. You'll have to decide whether the unusual appearance is worth the alleged lack of cat-related hassle.
Argos offers two other striking designs: a spiral Christmas tree, and an upside-down Christmas tree. Pretty cool aesthetics, but they look the opposite of cat-proof. I can picture a cat racing around in circles to reach to the spiral tree. Also, the upside-down tree offers a tantalizing platform on top, from which a cat could survey the living moon from a position power, like Cersei Lannister atop the Iron Throne.
In addition to the green 'half-Christmas tree,' Argos has a snow-covered alternative version available for £37.50. But if you really want to protect your tree, you should surround it with cucumbers, because cats hate cucumbers! Actually, that's just a joke. Don't do that. It seems like a mean trick to pay on a poor cat. And you don't want a bunch of ugly cucumbers rotting in your living room.
You know what, just tell your cats not to mess with your Christmas tree. I'm sure they'll listen.