Celebrity4 min(s) read
'Bachelor' star Madison Prewett Troutt reveals heartbreaking reason she hasn't masturbated in 10 years
Former Bachelor contestant Madison Prewett Troutt has opened up about overcoming an addiction to masturbation and adult content.
The reality show contestant, 30, opened up about her addiction to porn and masturbation, which "had been a struggle" going as far back as middle school.
Speaking on her Stay True podcast, Madison revealed: "I was about 13 years old. I went over to a friend's house and her parents weren't around and she turned on this show that was extremely inappropriate," as reported by the Daily Mail.
"Literally everyone was naked and it was like The Bachelor but, like, way worse and everyone was naked and everyone was trying to like fight for this like one woman's attention and and it was all about like sex and sexual relationships."
Madison revealed that it was an awakening for her, explaining: "My body started feeling things that I had never felt before and I started wondering things that I'd never wondered before and then desiring it and then wanting it and and so I left that time with my friend like genuinely so curious about that and wanting it more."
The experience led her to search the internet for X-rated content for "satisfaction and pleasure", but admitted: "maybe it did [work] for a moment but then as soon as the moment ended I felt so much shame and I was living in secret shame.
"I questioned my worth and my identity. Every time I gave into sexual sin, I didn't know my purpose.
"I was not able to break free until I brought other people into it, until I stopped letting the enemy run my life with living in secrecy and living in isolation."
She revealed that she managed to quit her vices around a decade ago through faith, adding: "Thankfully, by the grace of God and by the power of Godly community and people around me, I have been free from porn and masturbation for — I don't even know — 10 years. But that was something that enslaved me and marked me for so long."
Now, Madison is a mom to her daughter Hosanna Rose Troutt, with her husband, pastor Grant Troutt.
She previously addressed her addiction, revealing on the Candace Cameron Bure Podcast that it left her living a "double life".
Madison explained: "Around 13, 14, I got introduced to pornography at a young age by a friend. That started a long journey and battle for me with porn and masturbation.
"That created a lot of shame and secrecy in my life. I lived my life very much in this: ‘I’m saving myself for marriage, I have my virgin card, I’m following God.’ And on the outside it looked like everything was fine, but behind closed doors I was living this double life of living in constant secret sin, secret sexual sin, and not confessing it to anybody, which only led to more sin and more shame, and it felt like this never-ending cycle that I didn’t know how to get out of."
She revealed that she finally had a breakthrough in college, explaining: "I finally was able to break free from that addiction and that cycle.
"I think a lot of times we think with our sin, that if we confess it or if we finally tell someone about it, they will judge us, people will think we’re gross, they will think we are a bad Christian. If we say that, maybe they won’t want to be my friend anymore.
"What you’ll notice is that most of the time when you share that secret sin or that shameful thing — that maybe you didn’t even do, maybe it was done to you, and it’s been holding you back for so long — and you finally confess that to somebody, you know whether it’s a porn addiction or an abortion or something that someone took advantage of you.
"I think a lot of times it’s equated to sexuality — not always but a lot of times — and confessing that thing immediately, you feel this relief and you feel this freedom. That was really what that journey was like for me.
"Even to this day, having moments of shame popping back up, immediately just confess it and get it into the light and share it with a friend."