Nicole Kidman has revealed the devastating reason why she wakes up at night "crying and gasping" at 3AM.
In a new cover story interview with GQ to promote her forthcoming movie Babygirl, in which she stars opposite Harris Dickinson, the 57-year-old star reflected on one of the most difficult aspects of getting older.
The Academy-Award-winning actress candidly spoke about becoming more open to emotions as she navigates her 50s - a period where she's not only raising her children but also mourning the loss of her mother, Janelle Ann Kidman, and her father, Dr. Antony Kidman.
Kidman reflected on the impact life's trials and tribulations have had on her, saying: "Mortality. Connection. Life coming and hitting you. And [the] loss of parents and raising children and marriage and all of the things that go into making you a fully sentient human."
The Perfect Couple star remarked that life has been a "journey" so far and heartbreakingly disclosed that some of the intense emotions she feels cause her to "wake up at 3AM crying and gasping kind of thing".
"If you’re in it and not numbing yourself to it. And I’m in it. Fully in it," Kidman concluded.
The Big Little Lies star received news of her mother’s death ahead of a Venice Film Festival appearance for her movie, Babygirl, in September.
At the time, the film’s director, Halina Reijn, read a letter on Kidman's behalf during what would have been her acceptance speech for best actress at the festival.
"Today I arrived in Venice to find out shortly after, that my beautiful, brave mother Janelle Ann Kidman has just passed,” the letter read, cited by US Weekly. “I am in shock and I have to go to my family, but this award is for her, she shaped me, she guided me and she made me.
“I am beyond grateful that I get to say her name to all of you through Halina, the collision of life and art is heartbreaking, and my heart is broken," she added.
Last week, Kidman opened up about her grief during an interview with Vanity Fair, sharing that her late mother was her guiding light.
"She was my compass in a way," she told the outlet. "It’s like losing that, but at the same time going, 'Okay, well, this is for her then.' So much of what she wanted for my sister and I was to create women in this world who felt like they could express themselves and have opportunities, especially things she didn’t have from her generation."
The Eyes Wide Shut actress admitted it was bittersweet to be celebrating her milestones without her mother being around to share it.
“I wish she could have seen this part of it. She was very excited to see Babygirl, and she was excited to see Perfect Couple too, but she didn’t get to see either of those,” she added.