After revealing his morning routine, Orlando Bloom is either the greatest celebrity troll alive today... or unbelievably cringe and lame.
In a new interview with The Sunday Times, the 44-year-old Lord of the Rings star gave fans a glimpse into his celebrity lifestyle by detailing what he does each morning.
And before you start thinking it's going to be as insane as Mark Wahlberg's 3:00AM workouts, I'll stop you there - because Bloom is quite the opposite.
The father-of-two - who has just welcomed a baby girl into the world with fiancée Katy Perry - reveals that he usually waves up at 6:30AM and monitors his "readiness" via his sleep-tracking smart ring app.
Then, after checking in on baby Daisy Dove while 36-year-old Perry enjoys a "lie-in", Bloom explains that he likes to "earn" his breakfast, so he'll kick off his day with some "green powders" mixed with "brain octane oil, a collagen powder for [his] hair and nails, and some protein".
He'll then go for a hike while listening to some Nirvana, before returning home for his 9:00AM breakfast, which consists of "porridge, a little hazelnut milk, goji berries, a vegan protein power and a cup of PG Tips" (that's a brand of tea, for any non-UK readers).
If you're still awake, Bloom then goes on to describe himself as "90 per cent plant-based", explaining that he will "sometimes look at a cow and think, that's the most beautiful thing ever."
If he has son Flynn - whom he shared with ex-wife Miranda Kerr - staying with him, then Bloom will get him up and ready for school.
Bloom - who, let's remember, played Legolas and William Turner in two of the most exciting movie franchises in history - then gets dressed, and he emphasizes that he likes to "make an effort" so won't wear a pair of comfy trackies.
Then, in a sentence I cannot read without laughing, Bloom says: "I spend a lot of my time dreaming about roles for myself and others - for minorities and women."
Such a good guy. Looking out for minorities and women... and himself, of course.
After the interview was published, Orlando actually started to trend on Twitter in the UK, as readers struggled to come to grips about whether or not the actor - who played that badass elf with the bow and arrow - was winding us all up or not.
One Twitter user wrote: "Trying to decide if this Orlando Bloom interview, is real, or an excerpt from a bad Bret Easton Ellis novel. (Yes, I know. All Easton Ellis novels are bad)."
A second tweeted: "Hang on, this is obviously a script written by @rickygervais for #orlandobloom in his critically acclaimed series #extras .... wait what... it’s real? Oh.."
A third wrote: "This Orlando Bloom interview in the Sunday Times is wild. Genuinely thought this was a spoof but turns out it's real."
And the disbelief kept coming:
I guess being one of the sexiest Hollywood stars in the world really isn't all it's cracked up to be. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go buy some brain octane oil...