Ed Sheeran has candidly opened up about his mental health after suffering a series of personal traumas in recent years, before finding help through therapy.
The singer, 32, who is a father to two daughters - Lyra, two, and Jupiter, 10 months - with wife Cherry Seaborn, has given fans an intimate look at his personal life in a new documentary.
Ed has given fans a glimpse at what to expect from the Disney + film, titled Ed Sheeran: The Sum Of It All, which doesn't shy away from the more difficult parts of his life.
In the clip, Ed is seen breaking down while discussing the death of his best friend Jamal Edwards - to whom he credits his career - as well as health issues Cherry has been experiencing.
Ahead of the documentary's release, Ed revealed to Rolling Stone that he had been out for dinner with Taylor Swift and her boyfriend Joe Alwyn and was texting Jamal Edwards the day before the SBTV creator died from cardiac arrhythmia brought on by cocaine use, to arrange plans to shoot a music video the following day.
He told the publication, through tears: "Twelve hours later, he was dead. My best friend died and he shouldn’t have done."
The bereavement sent Ed into a spiral of depression, which he'd first experienced while at school but hadn't addressed until recently.
He explained: "I’ve always had real lows in my life, but it wasn’t really till last year that I actually addressed it."
As well as the death of his friend, Ed was also embroiled in a court battle to defend himself against accusations of plagiarism for his song 'Shape Of You', which he ended up winning.
Around the same time, Cherry was also diagnosed with a tumor while six months pregnant, which was not able to be operated on until she gave birth.
The couple had discussed delivering baby Jupiter early, but Cherry ended up carrying her to term and gave birth in May, before having surgery to remove the tumor in June, which was successful.
Ed also faced further grief when his friend, cricketer Shane Warne, died in March, and the singer found it increasingly difficult to deal with the heartbreak of so many difficult circumstances at the same time.
He admitted: "I felt like I didn’t want to live anymore. And I have had that throughout my life.… You’re under the waves drowning. You’re just sort of in this thing. And you can’t get out of it."
He admitted to feeling "really embarrassed" to have those feelings, especially after becoming a father himself, until Cherry encouraged him to see a therapist and talk about it.
"No one really talks about their feelings where I come from," he explained. "People think it’s weird getting a therapist in England.… I think it’s very helpful to be able to speak with someone and just vent and not feel guilty about venting.
"Obviously, like, I’ve lived a very privileged life. So my friends would always look at me like, 'Oh, it’s not that bad.'"
He admitted that working on his mental health is an ongoing process and "isn’t a button that is pressed, where you’re automatically okay".
Ed Sheeran: The Sum Of It All is available on Disney+ from May 3.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, please reach out for help and contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255, text HOME to 741741, or visit SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources.
