Society has grown more accepting of transgender people, but many still don't understand them. As a result, the dating world can be an especially difficult gauntlet. If transgender people reveal themselves on their profile, they're a magnet for inappropriate questions and offensive comments. And if they don't, the dread of the reveal hangs in the air like ominous rainclouds: How will the other party react?
On the British reality show First Dates, two participants have a romantic dinner together to see if they have a connection. Afterwards, the couple is asked if they want to see each other again. Sometimes the results are awkward, like when a man commented on a woman's weight, then tried to recover, and dug himself into an even deeper hole. But the producers don't appear to be trying to create dating disasters. They seem like they're trying to successfully match people up. (Maybe that's why the American version got cancelled. It was too wholesome!)
On a recent episode, a 25-year-old transgender woman named Danni was paired up with 28-year-old man named Aiden. During her interview with the producers, she explained the struggles of dating while trans: "You're about to tell them one thing about your history and it could change everything. Dating as a trans person is just a minefield - an absolute minefield."
"For the most part, the people that date trans people are really secretive and they're really scared to be seen with somebody who is trans, and that's a really hard pill to swallow," Danni explained. "You just know they will see you as completely differently from one sentence." And now she decided to cross this perilous minefield in front of television cameras.
Luckily, David was totally accepting. Dani built up to the big reveal by talking about her career aspirations. "I am actually setting up a lingerie brand," she said. "Basically I was very frustrated looking for lingerie. I want to make products because basically I couldn't find anything that was made for trans women - which is me... I'm so glad I got that out of the way." Totally unfazed, David smiled and replied, "It's not an issue to me."
Now, during the date, David did reveal he was pansexual, which means "not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity." So, the producers probably had a inkling the two might get along. But that scenario was not guaranteed, by any means. When the couple hit it off, they created a wholesome moment that stole everyone's hearts.
Many of the YouTube comments are about the Dorito's the couple ate at the restaurant, because of course they were. But the highest rated comments are positive. "He seems so genuinely sweet and accepting," wrote one person, while another added, "It was lovely to see the sheer relief in her eyes when he was so chilled about it all." But I think this comment says it all: "I love how First Dates set couples up who are genuine matches. For Danielle to find a date who is accepting and comfortable with dating someone who is trans is key to her happiness, and they delivered on that. It's sweet."
