Aren't diss tracks just two grown men in separate rooms writing poems about each other? I don't know where that quote originates from, but we've all seen it on the internet. And you know what? It's kind of true. But at the same time, diss tracks can be really entertaining. That's what separates rap from other genres of music; there's a competitive element, the sportsmanlike challenge to battle your peers and see whose skills are superior.
A few weeks ago, Eminem came roaring back with his surprise album, Kamikaze. The project is a fiery return to form that has gotten rave reviews from fans and hip-hop websites. Despite no promotion, and no singles, it sold over 400,000 copies first week, purely through word of mouth. The 45-year-old rapper stops holding his tongue, and blasts everyone who's been talking trash about him over the past year, including Joe Budden, Lord Jamar, Tyler The Creator and Machine Gun Kelly.
You might be wondering, why is Eminem dissing Machine Gun Kelly? Isn't that like a Tyrannosaurus Rex fighting a chihuahua? Here's a summary of the beef: In 2012, MGK posted a tweet calling Eminem's daughter "hot as f*ck." The problem was, MGK was 22 at the time, and Hailie Mathers was 16. So, yeah. Awkward. You can understand why that would tick Eminem off.
MGK, who's obviously a huge Eminem fan, deleted the offending tweet. But as the years passed by, he continued to bring up the incident in interviews and freestyles. He believed Eminem blackballed him from the Shade 45 radio station. In one freestyle, Kelly rapped, "‘I’m the greatest rapper alive since my favorite rapper banned me from Shade 45." And earlier this year, he appeared on the Tech N9ne song No Reason, and dropped a verse with subliminal disses to Eminem.
That was the last straw. Eminem responded to MGK on Not Alike, rapping, "But next time you don't gotta use Tech N9ne / If you wanna come at me with a sub, Machine Gun / And I'm talkin' to you, but you already know who the fuck you are, Kelly I don't use sublims and sure as fuck don't sneak-diss But keep commenting on my daughter Hailie." The gun wordplay is clever, and did you notice how "are Kelly" sounds like "R. Kelly"? Because MGK creeped on a teenager? Genius.
After Kamikaze dropped, MGK dropped a diss song called Rap Devil, riffing on Eminem's song, Rap God. To Kelly's credit, responding to Marshall Mathers takes balls (or ovaries). The song's catchy, he pumped it out pretty quickly, and there are some funny lines. Kelly mocks Eminem for making bad albums, sounding angry all the time, and getting old. "Somebody help your mans up (help) / Knees weak of old age, the real Slim Shady can't stand up!" (lol)
But while MGK landed some blows, critics called the diss weak. I mean, he complimented Eminem multiple times, calling him the greatest rapper of all time. Who does that in a diss track? And, come on, saying "your beard is weird"? Bragging about being taller? Saying ha-ha, you're ugly? That's not exactly a scorching roast.
This week, Eminem responded to Rap Devil in an interview with Sway. In a brutal rant, he disputed the claim that he got MGK blackballed from the radio. "Like I’m trying to hinder his career. I don’t give a f*** about your career. You think I actually f***ing think about you? You know how many f***ing rappers are better than you? You’re not even in the f***ing conversation."
In the interview, Eminem said he wasn't sure if he was going to record a response. On one hand, a reply just gives MGK more publicity. On the other hand, Rap Devil got 73 million views on YouTube, and a lot of people liked it. Even Eminem admitted it was "not bad...for him. It had a couple good lines in it." He kind of has to reply, right?
Well, today Slim Shady finally responded with a diss track, KILLSHOT. He absolutely destroys MGK, cleverly flipping every shot fired and dropping some hilarious punchlines. (Wow, Eminem knows who Lil' Tay is?!) Here are some lyrical highlights"
"Realized I forgot to call you back
Here's that autograph for your daughter, I wrote it on a Starter cap
Stan, Stan, son, listen, man, Dad isn't mad
But how you gonna name yourself after a damn gun
And have a man bun?"
"So before you die let's see who can out-petty who
With your corny lines (Slim, you're old) – ow, Kelly, ooh
But I'm 45 and I'm still outselling you...
You're the whack me, it's funny but so true
I'd rather be 80-year-old me than 20-year-old you..."
'Til I'm hitting old age
Still can fill a whole page with a ten-year-old's rage
Got more fans than you in your own city, lil' kiddy, go play
Feel like I'm babysitting Lil Tay
This is it, as big as you're gonna get, so enjoy it
Had to give you a career to destroy it!
"How the f*ck can him and I battle?
He'll have to fuck Kim in my flannel I'll give him my sandals
Cause he knows long as I'm Shady, he's gon' have to live in my shadow...
Your red sweater, your black leather
You dress better, I rap better
That a death threat or a love letter?...
This idiot's boss pops pills and tells him he's got skills
But, Kells, the day you put out a hit's the day
Diddy admits That he put the hit out that got Pac killed"
That Diddy shot was ice-cold, right? Referencing the rumor that Diddy was responsible for 2pac's death - oof. At the end of the song, Eminem smooths it over by saying, "I'm just playing, Diddy, you know I love you." But will the Bad Boy mogul take it in stride? Or will he and MGK respond? (MGK is signed to Puff Daddy's label.) Time will tell.
Who knew two grown men writing poems about each other could be so much fun?
