Food is great, isn't it? Keeps us all alive, I hear. When you cook it in your own kitchen, it's pretty great, giving you a sense of pride, but there's nothing like going out in your nicest clothes, paying a chef to make your dinner for you. Try it sometime - I wholeheartedly recommend it.
Of course, in this modern age which I like to refer to as the loud death-rattle of capitalism, restaurants want to go above and beyond to make their culinary experience a unique one - often at the expense of sanity, practicality and sometimes, safety. These meals you're about to see are pretty great, but I think they'd be much better if they were served in plates.
1. Serving six olives really doesn't need to be this complicated
Well, there you have it, folks. What's wrong with a plate, you ask? Well, I'm right there with you. These are too crazy for any sane man or woman to consider, and I will bet you a lot of money that all of these meals will be massively overpriced. I might just head to a McDonald's instead.
If you're unfamiliar with the Facebook page Rate My Plate, make sure the next thing you do with your day is giving it a follow - I promise you won't be disappointed.
Rate My Plate is an opportunity for amateur cooks to showcase their culinary skills, as they share pictures their dishes with the page's 2.4 million+ followers and ask for feedback in the comments section.
Naturally, the page has become a place for the people to have their dishes absolutely torn to pieces - much to the delight of everybody else. It is essentially a place where student servings, failed fry ups, and rubbish roasts go to die.
For a pasta dish that is worthy of your tastebuds, check out this amazing creamy garlic bread bowl pasta:
The latest victim is Kristi D, who shared her "Classic Pasta & Gravy" with the world back on February 7. Yes, you read that correctly - pasta with gravy poured over it.
I guess you could try and get technical and describe it as a dish of 'fusilli pasta au jus', but put simply, this plate is a basic mess. And as of this writing, the plate has received over 3.8K shares, 9K reactions, and a whopping 28,000 comments.
One commenter by the name of John Williams wrote: "See I like pasta and I like gravy but never the two should meet. 0/10"
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And 'top fan' Ali Collick commented: "There is no such thing as "classic" pasta and gravy no such thing, not on any Italian menu in any Italian restaurant, no Italian chef would ever cook it, no mama's secret recipe or not in any Italian recipe book nowhere ever! You seriously need to take some cooking classes or just [takeaways] and never ever suggest this [abomination] (look it up) is a "classic" ever again!"
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Facebook]]
But perhaps Kylie Gilchrist put it best when he wrote: "What the hell is classic about this. Looks like someone had the runs on the pasta..."
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Facebook]]
However, the most shocking part of this post isn't the dish itself - but the fact other people revealed they also eat this combination!
Chloé Bestley commented: "Yes! I love pasta and gravy [...] when I tell others about this they turn their nose up....until they try it".
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Facebook]]
[[imagecaption|| Credit: Facebook]]
And Kelly Dyche insisted: "Nothing wrong with a bit of pasta & gravy lol this is a students/poor mans meal though haha I’ve had this when there’s nothing else in the cupboards".
Maigen Pawson concurred, writing: "Pasta and gravy is the best thing ever x".
Now, looking at this dish I know that I would be ashamed to cook it, serve it, and eat it. But here's the thing - I kinda want to try it because I think it'll actually be alright (please don't crucify me in the comments).
Credit: PA Images[/caption]
The image that pulled you in and piqued your interest? We all know that image, not that one species of course (well, perhaps) but more so that point in time where our stomachs are rumbling and we are salivated at the prospective food on offer or pre-ordered on that long-haul flight that seemingly never ends.
This is a feeling we all know, and while we are on such a subject of culinary-related feeling, something else we all know is that often, these meals can be unpredictable based on literary or photographic menus and examples. "Interesting" is perhaps the best word for some of what we have ingested on our journeys through the skies and sometimes that word is just a polite way of saying something that isn't actually that polite.
Sometimes, however, it can be positive. So, without further ado, here are 30 in-flight meals we wish we could have had!
[post_page_title] #1 When Three Decisions Become One Super-Feed [/post_page_title]
A fry-up-style brunch? Some fruit and yogurt for something sweet or a little continental? When you have time to make breakfast let alone decide which way to go, it can often be a toughy.
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Boxes ticked. This in-flight meal bridges all three and not only boasts plenty of choices but as mile-high-meals go, it's pretty balanced. And so begins a list of tasty, tasty, imagery.
[post_page_title] #2 Good Food, EXCELLENT Presentation [/post_page_title]
Now this one may look impressive via its ingredients and given the context of where it's being served, it's top-notch. But! That's not why it stands out.
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Look at that crockery? The clear, black or foil containers are nowhere to be seen nor are the flimsy plastic cutlery. There's even a REAL NAPKIN. This meal was brought to you by the Aero-Restaurant service, dine a mile-high in style.
[post_page_title] #3 Presentation [/post_page_title]
This is another that does the job and has enough nutrients, but admittedly, it is a little simple.
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Personally back before going veggie, I'd had no issues eating this but again, presentation really makes the cake or tosses the salad or whatever. Look at that dinner tray! Swish.
[post_page_title] #4 Bridging Cuisines and... More Excellent Presentation [/post_page_title]
Why settle for simple themed meals set around a single locale? Why even bother with courses? Why not send it all at once?
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That's exactly what this flight crew did, it's certainly a tray-full and a little messy, but this is certainly a meal and a half! One that is yet again adorned with a napkin rolled for royalty.
[post_page_title] #5 Sometimes, They Just Out-Do Themselves [/post_page_title]
I can't say I've had my own fair share of high-class, first-class, business-class meals on flights. Although I can absolutely say that I've never had an in-flight meal that DIDN'T hit the spot as it were, my experience bar a few sneak-peaks into the world beyond standard-class is very limited. However, this list is opening my eyes.
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Imagine if this person was off on holiday somewhere nice, looking forward to the local cuisine only to arrive and be utterly disappointed with an unquenchable longing for what they had high in the sky, imagine that.
[post_page_title] #6 It's The Little Details... [/post_page_title]
We talked about courses earlier and how they weren't strictly possible or rather carried no real use. Well, perhaps, they are possible, just minutely, via a few excellent little details.
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Shiney, well-polished cutlery in order of each course set for a simple, quality lunch. Sorted. But where is the posh-napkin? Tut-tut.
[post_page_title] #7 What Time Zone Are We In? Who Knows? But It's Breakfast Time [/post_page_title]
I don't know about you but, the constant change in time zones that I went through on two or three-part journeys while traveling on very little sleep was utterly tiring. Expensive airport food was what it was, ok and pricey, and in-flight meals such as the next one were the stuff of dreams.
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The stuff of dreams, indeed. Tired and weary, this would be an excellent wake-up call, although, let's face it, you probably weren't actually asleep.
[post_page_title] #8 And Why Aren't Restaurants EXCLUSIVELY On Planes? [/post_page_title]
Again, another entry entered for obvious reasons, entirely justifying its entry upon entering in such an enigmatic manner. Words.
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Hats off to Japan Airlines and their international first class. You win, take it, TAKE IT ALL.
...don't fret, it isn't actually a competition, and I have plenty more plates for your perusal.
[post_page_title] #9 I Love Lamp [/post_page_title]
Much like Mr. Brick Tamland, I also love lamp, especially more so after seeing this in-flight feed. I have twenty-one more of these to show you, I've just eaten a gargantuan amount of food in order to fuel my brain for maximum word-work, and I suddenly want to bin-this all off, book a flight and chow-down.
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"Hello, yes, Emirates [...] yes, that's the one, one of those, please! Oh yes, my apologies and a seat on the plane. Where? It doesn't matter."
[post_page_title] #10 From Sea To The Sky [/post_page_title]
There you are, tired out of your mind, eagerly awaiting your in-flight meal and the one-time you managed to sleep you missed the announcement on what the food was and the cabin crew didn't want to wake you. You have no idea what you are going to get and you really, really hope it's not something disappointing.
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Ten-thousand and more feet up and you're dining on lobster. Boom! Face! I bet you didn't see that one coming, did you?
[post_page_title] #11 Air-Food May Surprise You [/post_page_title]
On some flights I've taken, the food on offer was often exactly what you would expect from the region from which the plane either took-off from or rather the airlines' origin. It's a relatively common occurrence but that's not always the case, and you should really never resign yourself to that theory for more than a few resolute seconds.
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Air Canada has absolutely annihilated that theory with this selection and again, if this was a competition, this could easily win it, even despite that crappy plastic spoon. That's right spooney, I see you.
[post_page_title] #12 Consistency Is Key [/post_page_title]
Reputation for airlines is paramount, and it goes without saying that the food served on those long-haul, first-class cabins needs to be nowhere near any sort of culinary compromise.
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Emirates knows this all too well.
[post_page_title] #13 You Know You Made The Right Choice When... [/post_page_title]
... it doesn't look, feel or taste like it was preprepared back on the ground.
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"Hello, yes, everything is fine with my meal. I was wondering if I could stay on after we land. Yes! just stay here, the food is utterly divine."
[post_page_title] #14 Soup Of The... Skies? [/post_page_title]
If you're in want of a simple meal, one to warm the gut as much as your soul after a long day, sat down, not really moving, then Qatar Airways have your back.
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This looks lovely, to be honest, and there isn't really much more I can say. It's tough sitting down all the time in comfy luxury seats with all that legroom, I'd need some tasty, soul-warming sky-soup too.
[post_page_title] #15 Going The Extra (Vertical) Mile! [/post_page_title]
On my travels, I saw examples from either end of the spectrum when it came to parenting and/or the behavior of young children. Admittedly, any flight can be distressing for a child full of boundless energy and constant needs of nurturing. This next example via AirAstana has the remedy for such an instance.
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What excellent service this is, really.
[post_page_title] #16 10,000+ Feet Up Is No Excuse... [/post_page_title]
... to compromise quality.
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If this list is teaching anything, it's that crappy, sub-parr culinary displays are not only lazy up there on the cusp the heavens but need-not exist at all! This champion of such an ethos itself striving for quality, at least from the context of this list, is unambiguously food hailing from and themed around the continent of Asia.
I mean, JUST LOOK AT IT!
[post_page_title] #17 Holiday Prep? Or Holiday Ruination? [/post_page_title]
I say the latter half of that title in jest but still! You often go away to find culinary delights and on the way, simply eat to sustain yourself before true relaxation starts.
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I made the joke earlier of sorts but really, I'd never leave the plane of I was being fed this well!
[post_page_title] #18 AeroFoodPorn [/post_page_title]
Now we've seen some true edible imagery on this list thus far, and if the NOT-competition had a sub-NOT-competition focussed around the presentation and yet another sub-focus on restaurant-likeness, then this would be a clear forerunner NOT-winning.
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Triangular plates. On a flight. "Hello, yes, everything is fine and dandy over here, this food is excellent but I wish to ask you a question... Can I pay you for these plates? I simply MUST have them".
[post_page_title] #19 Eating Better Than Usual [/post_page_title]
I like to think I cook well, it takes a little time but gathering up all the ingredients and preparing it all into a balanced, hearty yet healthy meal is something I endeavor to do as often as I can.
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Actually, on second thoughts, sod all that. I'm now selling all my-worldly possessions to globe-trot across the airways and sample the stratospheric kitchen of wonder.
[post_page_title] #20 I Did Napkin-See That Coming [/post_page_title]
That's right, my within-the-context-of-the-list obsession with napkins is back, this time accompanying combination of the good, the healthy and decadent.
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Joking aside traveling such great distance via THE SKY was something human beings were never meant to do, yet we do and that's that. What's also "that" is how double-plus-ungood it can make you feel. This tray-full of delight chucks a few nutrients at you in a more than satisfactory manner and even throws you a little treat while it's at it.
Cheers, United Airlines.
[post_page_title] #21 Size Matters [/post_page_title]
Size does matter when it comes to a famished stomach and salivating mouth. Some in-flight chow-times can be quite minuscule and in truth, that can be just right but then hunger hits and the grump begins, a sizable plate is required to satiate such a feeling.
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That's why this one was chosen from the hundreds of examples I have on my screen, anyway. A full belly is a happy one, no matter how many feet in the air.
[post_page_title] #22 Adorable AND Edible [/post_page_title]
Said title speaks for the image inserted.
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Said title continues to speak for image inserted.
[post_page_title] #23 Calories Are Calories... [/post_page_title]
This example, this far down this list of unambiguous tastiness prompted me to chuckle. Calories are calories. Nothing, bar water, is calorie-free, remember that!
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Now, because I am indeed a massive nerd (and a lead-bartender) I decided to work out, based on the assumption that these bottles are 5oml, how many calories this "meal" would be. The answer is: 1080. Now that is a sizable "meal".
And that isn't counting the tasty, tasty, addictive carton of pringles behind it all...
[post_page_title] #24 Healthy In-Flight [/post_page_title]
This next one is another excellent example of the quality available and why you shouldn't just settle for packaged sandwiches, crisps, and adorable booze. The above example exempt, of course!
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Once again, we have another high-quality set of plates set to restore the healthy body and mind of the weary traveler! Air Canada, expect some inquiries from me!
[post_page_title] #25 The Only Way To Fl-EAT [/post_page_title]
This next image is what it is.
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And that is pure excellence. Just gaze upon it, that has nearly every major craving and food-group covered and even a few bits to make you feel less guilty about tall those tasty carbs.
[post_page_title] #25 The Only Way To Fl-EAT V2 [/post_page_title]
So far down this list, if you are anything like me, you will be close forsaking going out to eat ever again.
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"So what are we doing for dinner tonight?" they ask.
"Pack your bags, we're going on a plane," I reply.
[post_page_title] #26 From Full-Craving to Full-English [/post_page_title]
The English breakfast is world-renowned for obvious reasons, so much so that you can find it in just about every country around the world in some form or another and in huge diversity within its own place of origin. It's one of those things that people just crave when they have rumbling belly and/or a stonking hangover. Don't lie now! I saw that nod!
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Now, this may not be the prettiest or the greatest quality, but by ye gods, it is on here by its own right.
[post_page_title] #27 Simple And Filling Wins The Stomach [/post_page_title]
Sticking with a little simplicity after a list of overt displays and grandiose recipes we have this simple approach to stomach-filling.
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What more can you really say? It looks as if it does the job until the next time he cabin crew wakes you ahead of your next feeding time.
[post_page_title] #28 Comfort In What You Know [/post_page_title]
Beer and burger, burgers and beers, beers and burgers. It never gets old and neither should it! It's such a versatile, please-all combination that no matter where you are, it satiates most. Why should this be any different up in the air?
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It shouldn't, and as a result of simplicity, this entry is one of the best on this list - buns down.
[post_page_title] #29 Just Desserts [/post_page_title]
I'll be honest, although I've stated more than once that not all air-nums are sub-par and boring, I've still been surprised into knee-jerk reaction salivation more than once on this list. And well, this next example...
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Need I say more?
[post_page_title] #30 Wined, Dined and Fly-ned? You Get The Idea [/post_page_title]
To close these thirty courses of food I wish I was eating right now, we have more than one mouthful.
Off somewhere on a business trip? Traveling on your own to discover yourself and the vibrant world around you? Well then, while on the plane quaking in your seat or realizing how much you're going to miss your loved ones and the dog, home-cooking might just be the closure you need.
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A hearty meal to bolster a heart of adventure! How poetic! Sustenance for a stomach that is empty, how fortuitous!
Right, I bid you adieu. I'm all packed and ready to get fat on the tastiest of journeys.
As everyone knows, whole swathes of the modern diet are prepared in a variety of unspeakable ways. Sausages containing sawdust, nuggets made with chicken feet - the unappetising rumours are too numerous to list here. We're aware of these things, and yet make considerable effort to avoid thinking too carefully about them when stuffing our faces. Food with questionable ingredients is one thing, but there are dishes that are made in such terrible ways that you will forever find it impossible to disassociate the food with horror once you have heard what we put some of our dinners through. Here’s a few tasty treats that you won’t be able to eat ever again after finishing this article.
Lobster
Lobster is delicious. One of life’s great joys, bursting with sweet and salty buttery meat that can rival anything that the land has to offer. Despite the enormous affection that the world has for lobster meat, it cannot be said that we afford the animal itself the same respect. 20 million are eaten every year around the world, and are usually prepared by being thrown into a boiling pot, or sliced down the middle, all whilst still living.
We now know that lobsters and crabs have extremely complex nervous systems, and are capable of feeling a great deal of pain and stress. They may be tasty, but the way we cook them is unappetising to say the least.
As a rule, people don’t like sharks. Thanks to “Jaws”, the majority of the world’s population live in terror of being eaten alive with every trip into the ocean. The reality is that between five and ten people are killed by sharks every year. We kill 100 million of them.
There is one major cause for this abject and unsustainable slaughter - the demand for shark fin soup. While the novelty of the idea may be appealing to some, the practise is both cruel and extremely damaging to the environment. Sharks are often captured and their fins removed at sea, with the still living sharks thrown back into the ocean, where they either drown or are eaten alive by the sea’s other residents. No soup justifies that.
More tender and succulent than regular beef, veal has been a favourite on American and European tables for many centuries. But however good it tastes, there’s no escaping its unethical origins.
After birth, male dairy calves are often punished for their lack of udders by being consigned to a veal crate. The crates allow for minimal movement and zero sunlight, meaning that the young cows spend the duration of their short lives in the dark, unable even to turn around. Veal crates are banned in many areas, including the UK and some states in America, but the practise is still prevalent - bad news for young male cows everywhere.
Literally translated as “fatty liver”, you could be forgiven for thinking that foie gras is just an exceptionally decadent type of pate. The reality is far more stomach churning. To create the dish, geese are force-fed fat enriched corn using long metal poles, until their livers swell to more than four times their normal size. The animals are then slaughtered and the livers prepared for plating.
In order to prevent the geese struggling during the process, the birds are placed in small wooden boxes with a hole for feeding. Foie Gras may be delicious, but it is definitely not a practise for the squeamish.
Credit: Pixabay[/caption]
As a species, we seem pretty adept at finding new and inventive ways of being cruel to our food. While some unethical practises, like intensive farming, can be improved upon, the nature of some of these dishes means that they are innately horrible, however we dress them up. Perhaps, with hindsight, it’s best to avoid them altogether and order something that may be less tasty, but won’t eat at your conscience.
Although I agree that bacon, sausages and all that are delicious, I'm not so sure I'm going to eat much pork in the future. While we'll (rightly) recoil in disgust at the notion of eating dog or cat meat, pigs are just as lovely, not to mention a bit smarter than your average pet to boot.
Plus, thanks to their chemical and anatomical makeup, pork is also one of the closest tastes you'll get to human meat (something backed up by some of our most prolific cannibals). Long story short: if pigs had sweat glands (the lack of which necessitates them rolling around in mud all of the time), I'd definitely have one as a pet.
We decide to eat them for slightly arbitrary reasons, but for me, they're just too interesting to eat. Feel free to accuse me of fake news so you don't have to feel guilty for wanting that bacon sandwich, but I'm sure there are plenty of animals that we'd feel bad eating if we knew just how cool they were. Case in point: this lobster.
The Scales restaurant out in Portland, Maine is a massive fan of its seafood, getting a seafood delivery last week as is customary. But their haul of fish, shrimp and squid was this week outshone by a pretty special lobster. Found in the net was a 1.5-pound, 'cotton candy' lobster, which the restaurant affectionately decided to call Blue Betty.
Scales co-chef Travis Olson said that Betty was well-loved by both customers and staff, and thanks to her unique colour, executive chef Fred Eliot admitted he didn't have the heart to eat her. “It was just too interesting to cook it,” Eliot said. “It was almost translucent.”
Initially, Scales had decided to keep Blue Betty in a tank like they usually did with the other lobsters, but Betty turned out to be pretty feisty and honestly, kind of a jerk - lunging at any fingers that dared tap at the glass separating her from the outside world. “She was pretty feisty,” Eliot revealed of the unusual lobster. “Some people started calling her bubbles because she was foaming at the mouth.”
After putting the decision to the people, it was decided that Blue Betty would be released back into the ocean, where she would be free to be her colourful self and hopefully not bite anyone. Along with his wife Anne, Travis Olson rowed out to Cow Island in Casco Bay to free Blue Betty, but no matter how far she swims, she'll never be forgotten by this Portland establishment.
According to the University of Maine’s Lobster Institute (yep, that's a real thing), blue lobsters are extremely rare, with a one in two million-chance of turning out that way. Yellow lobsters are one in 30 million, while a blue and yellow lobster like Blue Betty is a one in 100 million chance. So, there's a decent chance that we'll never see a crustacean like her again in our lifetimes.
When your alarm rings and the first rays of sunlight peek through your curtains, it's not always easy to summon the willpower to push back the blankets, roll yourself out of bed, and get on with your day. Some people like to go for a run, others take a nice, long shower. But for me, there's only one thing that gets me out of bed in the morning: the promise of an English Breakfast.
We like to associate the British with tea, scones and a whole lot of other fancy foods, but when it comes down to it, they like to get down at breakfast time just like us, and the English Breakfast is the perfect example of that. A typical English Breakfast is pretty similar to our American fare; like us, they love bacon, eggs and sausages on their plate first thing in the morning, and usually follow that up with a slice of toast or a piece of tomato instead of pancakes.
Emphasis here on "usually", because sometimes, people are prone to losing their minds and coming up with a breakfast monstrosity as shown here at a restaurant in Cyprus. You might since this isn't being made in England, we should give it a pass, but here I think we should make an exception; this kind of food crime should not go unpunished.
It was posted to Reddit earlier this week with the caption "This is from a friend of mine on holiday, who is half Cypriot, he’s not amused…" and if it were me, "amused" is definitely the last thing I would be. Feast (pun definitely not intended) your eyes on it below, and note how this is the worst thing to come out of Britain since... well, forever:
I should have warned you before about grabbing some tissues; for this English Breakfast is so sad it might force you to tears. It certainly made me weep a little bit. From the sad, uncooked bread to the lettuce that appears to have died of old age to the hot dog masquerading as a sausage, this is the kind of gas station fare that gives English Breakfast a bad name. Also: why is it served on a chopping board?!
Understandably, British commenters and dissenters descended onto this Reddit thread, determined to defend the honor of the most delicious breakfast dish that bears their name. "It’s like if someone learnt about it from a game of Chinese whispers," said one, while another simply replied: "What in the hell is this abomination??"
The saddest part here for me isn't the frankfurter, or the way this cook managed to make bacon look unappetizing, but how if this Redditor had decided to go for a traditional Cypriot (or even Mediterranean) breakfast, they could have enjoyed something truly incredible. But instead, they decided to play it safe go with an old favorite, in the process suffering the worst of both worlds. Depressing as cold french fries, if you ask me.
So next time you're on holiday in a land far away, be sure to try out some of the local food. At least if it's terrible, you can learn to appreciate more of your favorite food back home.
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