Lifestyle7 min(s) read
Published 16:00 15 Nov 2019 GMT
Disney are the absolute masters of entertaining kids and reminding adults that they are still kids at heart. Many of us grew up on Disney movies, and now the next generation is busy digesting the latest run of animated entertainment, us older humans can reflect and gleefully pick apart all the puns and innuendos that laced our childhood favorites that we didn't understand at the time. Disney are masters of that too and that is exactly why this list exists. So sit back and relax, as you yourself digest Disney in a different way!
[post_page_title] #1 The Joke On The Jokers [/post_page_title]
Starting with the end! Finding Nemo had its fair share of chuckles, and with its nautical theme, Disney missed out on one absolutely golden opportunity!
Have you worked it out yet? Did you fin-d what I am suggesting? No? Well, I guess this is it then! - Fin.
Pun, fish puns, fun.
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #2 Snow White Would Have Seen This As Completely Fine Within Context [/post_page_title]
Fairy tales and movies don't always need to make any more sense than they need to in order to progress the story and keep people enthralled. However, as we know, that's almost NEVER the case and Snow White is an excellent example.
The 1937 classic may seem like a happy ending, where Snow White is as happy as can be, but if you really think about it, she was tricked (spiked?) fell asleep and woke up to a situation she had very limited control over. Shocking really!
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #3 Plot Holes Are Ubiquitous [/post_page_title]
Still on with the snowiest of whites, we have a classic example of film-fan hindsight. "Why Didn't ...?"
Old Queeny above wished Snow White to be gone. She had the power to transform herself into an old hag to TRICK the person she wished to be gone, so why not eliminate her another way by out-beautifying her? Hindsight 1, Disney 0.
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #4 Furniture and The Beast [/post_page_title]
Released the year I was born and digested by my young eyes a few years later, at the time, I didn't release how very real it would hit my adult feels, twenty-eight long years later.
Twenty-eight, nearly twenty-nine (ughhh) long years later when but a few short months ago I moved into a new flat with the task of finding furnishings. This one I truly resonate with, I mean, imagine watching your furniture humanize and toddle off on their merry way after a little song or sixteen? Disney film or a ninety-minute tutorial?
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #5 Aladin's Hidden Vices! [/post_page_title]
Aladin was a favorite of many. His wacky, seemingly innocent adventures defying all logic, gravity, and sense made for an entertaining flick but it is via our friend captain hindsight that now, we see through the looking glass.
This exuberant young man had an exciting time in the film, especially as his main compadres were monkey he could communicate with, a smoking lamp and a flying, physis defying carpet. Drugs, Aladin was on drugs.
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #6 Her Face Is Up There Mate! [/post_page_title]
El Prince-o couldn't remember the name of the woman he was enamored with in Cinderella. That dress must have been really doing it for him. *Sigh*
To be honest, there isn't a huge amount I can say about this. Poor play Princey my boy, poor play. I'm sure it was a lovely dress but in hindsight, I think you have been paying a little too much attention to it.
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #8 Wait, He Did What? This Is A Kids Film! [/post_page_title]
Disney, ah Disney, adult, and sexual innuendoes were common as the child-friendly jokes and as we aged we began to understand those little tidbits left for "grown-ups". However, it seems that Disney may have unintentionally added a few too many unknowingly. Enter Snow White, AGAIN!
I'll put this simply. Our dashing male with questionable morals is KISSING a MINOR that he has JUST MET while she is in a state of DEATH. Now, let that sink in.
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #9 A Cautionary and Cold Tale [/post_page_title]
Frozen has seen near-insurmountable success within the scope of children's and Disney movies. The tale has many life lessons for the modern child and although not perfect, was received very well. However, some excellent messages may have been accidental or at least not as initially obvious.
Kids need structure but need to guided rather than led or ordered to follow a specific path. They need to make mistakes, not marry the first person they meet (first man in this case) and to not go full Ice-Witch when there is any sign of conflict. Nice one Frozen.
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #10 Well, That's Not Very Nice! [/post_page_title]
You what's cool? Jokes. You what also cool, not teaching kids to be nasty at an early age before they properly understand humor!
If you watch The Lion King now you will come to the conclusion that poor Simba was subject to a ploy, a ploy implemented by the feel-good song, Hakuna Matata. Bugs, it was all about getting the more Savana-kitty to eat bugs.
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #11 France, they are in France. Apparently... [/post_page_title]
Up until this stage in my life, having seen the movie many times, and watched the live-action remake and probably talked about it more than one-hundred times, this still left me dumbfounded.
Not only do these furniture pieces speak, but apparently understand linguistics so well that all but one of them have masked their FRENCH accent, while still residing in FRANCE. EVERYONE except Lumierè that is. Baffling.
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #12 Mermaid Bowels To Human Bowels [/post_page_title]
Now, I know what you're thinking, but going through the source notes for this I had to include this one. Especially with this image.
Swimming like a fish to pooping like a human. Poor Ariel. Pooping in public isn't very dignified for royalty now, is it?
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #13 The Debates Disney Causes [/post_page_title]
When you think of hot-film debates, you don't really think of legions of fans discussing lore when it comes to Disney's fairy-tales. Naturally, you don't but apparently you should, especially with Rapunzel it seems.
Apparently, if her mother in-film had told her that her birthday was on a different day then the whole film would have ended then! Or so the debates online say, look them up!
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #14 Unexpected Good Works, Sort Of... [/post_page_title]
Sometimes, the baddies of the Disney world actually do the protagonists a little good.
It has been suggested that by taking away Ariel's voice, Ursula actually prevented Eric from thinking that this particular fish-out-of-water was a little strange. Something, something, dinglehoppers and snarfblats.
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #15 Regressive Ideas [/post_page_title]
We've talked about Disney portraying positive messages for young minds but what of the negatives?
Disney has/had a habit of portraying hapless young women that cannot do anything without a man to save them, we all know this now to be a load of rubbish but many of these childhood staples taught us precisely that! And if they didn't the baddies and evil queens of the franchises were cast as so, to suggest that if they were not hapless and in need of saving, they were evil and needed to be brought down. Well done patriarchy, you've done it again!
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #16 Unique Clodhoppers [/post_page_title]
Some people like feet, others don't, each to their own, but if absolutely no-one in the immediately populated area couldn't fit into these dainty little shoesies then it would suggest old Cindy had some terribly weird feet.
*shudder*
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #17 EVERYTHING Was Furniture, E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G [/post_page_title]
Admittedly, this one caught me completely off-guard. Everything that was a usable appliance (as it were) in Beauty and The Beast was sentient and eventually became human again. Humans - and beasts for that matter - use the toilet... See where I'm going with this?
Not only would have one of these unfortunate household essentials had to be the human-waste receptacle but would have had some SERIOUS post-traumatic stress disorder after returning to humanity. Bloody-hell Disney!
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #18 Ruined? Perhaps [/post_page_title]
Today on: MASSIVE PLOT HOLES.
The main point here is not the plot hole itself but that actually that as adults revisiting these childhood staples, we are destroying it all and laying waste to what left our younger selves with dropped jaws. Curse the gift of life experience!
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #19 Don't Try This At Home [/post_page_title]
Tiny humans are impressionable, that's a fact. Tiny humans also mimic much of what they see and hear with no real understanding of consequence, that is also a fact.
Rapunzel must have had an exceptionally strong neck. Your small children probably don't. I can't decide if Disney has actually screwed up here or not? A "no-no" or backhanded advice? The plot thickens!
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #20 Planet Of The... Lions? [/post_page_title]
There is absolutely NO trace of humans in The Lion King. Why? Where? What Universe? Could this be a post-apocalyptic world where animals have survived? Did all the humans die out? The Bronze Age? The 21st Century? A weird cyborg future? Anyone?
YOU BLEW IT UP, DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL?!?!?!?!
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #21 Has Anyone Seen Mickey? [/post_page_title]
Mickey is the omnipresent mouse of the Disney world. He is near-always there in some form, and if he isn't his face is still so fresh in the minds of millions that forgetting about him is nigh-on impossible. And yet...
... and yet when was the last time he had a film dedicated to him? Mickey is more focussed on his career training doppelgangers and merchandise these days. Gotta bring the money in, I suppose!
That said, a new movie with his iconic and lovable face wouldn't go a-mouse.
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #22 An Interesting Observation [/post_page_title]
I would love to know who initially came up with observation, but now that it's all over the internet, I can't fault its logic, so here we go.
Mulan wouldn't have been able to save China had she had larger mammary glands. Boom! Sorry Boob!
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #23 Spoiler Warning: Childhood Might Be Ruined [/post_page_title]
The face below perfectly captures what you are about to read or have read dependant on how much you have scrolled thus far.
Simba's merry vocal tones singing of his desire to be King may well seem like blissful youthful exuberance but if the context of Lion-culture, if that's even a thing, is for the successor only to ascend once the former head of pride has expired. It really does put this little song in a MUCH darker context. Childhood ruined yet?
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #24 Innuedos and Adult Humor Are One Thing... [/post_page_title]
As stated above, Disney are the unambiguous masters of hidden jokes more befitting of the life experience of the parents rather than their offspring. It's a certifiable fact, and we know this, but if you look a little deeper, it gets a lot worse.
Beastiality, Stockholm syndrome, slave labor and lynching. Young children need to know about all of those, don't they? No.
Ah, so my childhood WASN'T normal...
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #25 The Winners and Losers Of Capitalism... [/post_page_title]
Aladdin was essentially a story by a merchant coercing us into buying a worthless-lamp.
Well, did it work?
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #26 Timeless Relevancy and In-World Applications! [/post_page_title]
If Disney's various timelines and settings would prospectively reach our own level of societal development, with all its advantages AND problems. Old Pinocchio's nose would prove to be invaluable, we could repopulate the world's forests with ease!
How do you ask? UNLIMITEDDDDDDD LUMBBBBERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! We need to fund this research now.
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #27 Modern Princess Flick or Superhero Origin Story? [/post_page_title]
Frozen had many life lessons and gave no life to the world of dated, "princess hapless" style movies. It's safe to say it nailed this exceptionally well but at the same time, was that its initial aim?
Take this dark-lighted night-shot of an image, showing a strong character wearing a CAPE alongside an attire that screams crime fitting more than it does royalty and tell me this isn't the story of the next great hero.
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #28 The Ultimate Truth Finding Machine [/post_page_title]
Is life a quest for the truth? For some, it absolutely is. This next entry is more proof that Disney may well intentionally leave us some hidden gems but its the unintentional gob-smacking moments we should look out for!
Pinnochio will save us all! Nothing will ever be ambiguous again! Just think of all the scientific applications! The world could absolutely be a better place! Provided he stays out of the wrong hands that is!
[[pagebreak]][post_page_title] #30 Ignorance Is Bliss! [/post_page_title]
The original Toy Story is a generation-defining film and I think very few would disagree with that statement. Yet, years on, after millions of rewatches and some sequels we are still finding little snippets we may have missed and or are seeing that little-bit differently!
Buzz. Buzz had his reawakening in the film and although, trying it was ultimately a revelation that left him more than just falling with style, leaving him happy with his new life. It was a heart-warming moment, to say the least, but prior to that awakening, Buzz had another life and another happiness.
Buzz "the astronaut" would have been overwhelmed with excitement if Sid has successfully launched that firework, Buzz Lightyear would be returning to space. Of course, we all glad that he didn't but still, I bet you never thought of it that way, did you?
Disney, not just a collection of kids' films!
