Fortune cookies (whether they actually taste good or not) are one of the best things about ordering Chinese food. Who doesn't get a little bit excited about what their future could have in store? Unfortunately, not every fortune turns out to be as helpful or as optimistic as we'd like. From odd vocabulary lessons to random musings about the universe, we've rounded up the funniest fortunes from Twitter. 1. Self-aware We are closer to a sausage party scenario than we know. [[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/nicoIauss/status/1018316507569217537?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1018316507569217537&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thisisinsider.com%2Ffunny-fortune-cookies-2018-7]] 2. Mom Why does this sound like my mom? [[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/sorryimmaria/status/323138120080044032?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E323138120080044032&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thisisinsider.com%2Ffunny-fortune-cookies-2018-7]] 3. Lazy ass cookie Fortune cookies have one job, but even they get lazy sometimes. [[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/artistlorene/status/1018708496668168192?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1018708496668168192&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thisisinsider.com%2Ffunny-fortune-cookies-2018-7]] 4. Kinky This one seems to have taken a page from Fifty Shades of Grey. [[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/postsecret/status/1015605243764076544?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1015605243764076544&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thisisinsider.com%2Ffunny-fortune-cookies-2018-7]] 5. Gross Probably worse than being told I'll die next week. [[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/pjh_22/status/1015580344211378177?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1015580344211378177&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thisisinsider.com%2Ffunny-fortune-cookies-2018-7]] 6. Too late Telling people to avoid cookies is counterproductive, coming from a cookie. [[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/GarmanSports/status/1008894081991413760?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1008894081991413760&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thisisinsider.com%2Ffunny-fortune-cookies-2018-7]] 7. Aunty cookie This one sounds like a nagging relative again. Who wants to be shamed by their fortune. [[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/DavidJollyFL/status/1007790815249424384?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1007790815249424384&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thisisinsider.com%2Ffunny-fortune-cookies-2018-7]] If anything this hasn't made me pessimistic, just incredibly desperate for some Chinese.

7 People reveal the weirdest messages they've ever found in a fortune cookie

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