A bride has sparked a debate after revealing that she was planning to ban her parents from her wedding after they refused to pay for it.
Arranging a wedding can be pretty stressful for many couples, from picking out the perfect menu to making sure the seating plan doesn't lead to any family members that don't get along being placed next to each other.
Then, of course, it comes to paying for the thing - which can easily run into tens of thousands of dollars depending on the size of the big day the couple desires to have.
One bride has revealed she is so irate her parents are refusing to fork out for her to have a big wedding that she is considering leaving them off the invite list as payback.
The anonymous bride-to-be revealed that her fiancé had proposed in the summer and the couple had immediately started planning their wedding.
She explained in the Daily Mail advice column: "I've always been a girl who has dreamed about getting married – the kind of dress I'd wear, the flowers I'd have, and the first song I'd dance to with my new husband.
"A big ceremony and reception are what I want – I want that one day where I get to be the center of attention.
"And I've always felt so lucky that my parents talked about saving money away for my special day."
She revealed that her parents had been the first people she'd called when her boyfriend had proposed and while she "wasn't exactly badgering them for money from the off," she admitted it made her "slightly anxious" that they didn't bring it up immediately when she announced the news.
The bride assumed that it'd slipped her mom and dad's minds to mention the money side of things due to them being "caught up in the excitement" of the engagement at the time.
However, when she brought it up with them another day, her parents explained that they wouldn't be paying for the wedding after all.
She wrote: "They said that they've had a bad run of luck with their finances of late, and that, because my husband and I both work in high-paid jobs, they feel the responsibility to pay for a big wedding rests with us.
"Then they made a dig at the fact that my husband comes from money, joking that we'd 'know where to go if we needed help.'"
The bride says she was left "stunned" at what they'd said and felt like the wedding she'd "dreamed about [her] whole life just vanished", and that her parents did not seem apologetic.
She added: "I reminded them that my fiancé and I just bought a new home, we are already planning for kids, and we just don't have the money to afford this whole thing by ourselves but nothing swayed them.
"They just said that they don't have the resources to help out right now but that they'll do everything else they can to help without handing over cash."
She admitted she was "really annoyed" by the "lack of sympathy" they'd shown, adding: "I ultimately told them that if they don't want to be a part of the wedding financially, then they just shouldn't bother coming. Since then I've pretty much cut them off and I'm feeling pretty confident in my choice to not have them attend."
The bride's friends and her sister warned her that she may "regret" cutting her parents out of her wedding as it would ruin their relationship over something "silly", and suggested she thinks about whether she really wants to do that - and she admitted he may come to regret not having her dad walk her down the aisle despite feeling like they don't "deserve" to be there if they're not forking out the cash.
The agony aunt advised her that while a big wedding can be nice, it's not the be all and end all, as ultimately a couple's love is the thng that matters the most.
She also pointed out that the bride's parents may be privately struggling with their own finances and did not want to tell her, but that they clearly loved her and wanted to help out with the wedding in other ways if not financially, and that she would likely regret making the rash decision to cut them out for it.
Others in the comments added: "I will tell you this fact. If you ban your parents from your wedding things will never ever be the same again. Yes, your parents will always love you but you will lose something from the relationship that you can never replace. It will put a space between you. You may eventually decide it is alright to keep any children you have away from them as punishment for some other reason like they cant babysit or something as trivial because you are obviously intent on getting your own way always. Think how you would feel in their place."
One added: "It is scary how Anti-budget Bride is very focused on herself. Her parents will be invaluable to her once the kids come along (if not now). Clearly, she has no clue," while someone else advised: "Weddings are so over rated. Focus on the marriage instead."
Another commented: "Sound like financial blackmail," while one reader added: "If fiancé 'comes from money', it seems he does as you have just bought a home (unavailable to a large majority of us due to cost,) then he can contribute to the wedding. How can you plan for children when you can't afford a wedding? Kids are way more expensive. If you can't afford it, have a small, intimate, and cheaper day. Simples."
One even joked: "The parents should disown the daughter and adopt a new one, one that appreciates the love of caring parents."
What do you think? Let us know in the comments.
Featured image credit: Anna Blazhuk/Getty Images
