A person's wedding is supposed to be one of the happiest days of their life, on par with the day they have their first child, or find £20 in the pocket of an old winter coat. Unfortunately, things don't always go to plan.
Recently, one bride posted anonymously on the Reddit forum, /r/AmItheAsshole, asking whether or not she was in the wrong for kicking out guests who had brought along kids to her strictly child-free wedding. In her words, the "crying" and "cranky" little ones were "not part of the plan" - and so she asked them to leave.
Now, her post has gone viral.
The post, made by the user "buildingtile" began with the question: "AITA for kicking out a couple who brought their baby and toddler to my wedding because I wanted a child-free event?"
The bride then went on to give a little backstory:
"This couple I’m not very close with but the wife is a long-time family friend so I felt that I should invite her. To be clear, all of my invitations stated that there were to be no children at this wedding. But she and her husband showed up with their infant and toddler (who I think is like 3-4)."
So, buildingtile clearly stated from the beginning that kids wouldn't be allowed, but these two particular guests seemed to assume the rules didn't apply to them. She continued:
"At the actual wedding ceremony, I let it slide. I was preoccupied for obvious reasons. I also thought that maybe they planned not to attend the reception or to have someone pick the kids up before it started. (My niece, who was our flower girl, and a few other kids who had to be at the wedding for one reason or another we’re getting picked up/dropped off after the ceremony ended).
"Anyway the reception rolls around (I’m fast forwarding through irrelevant details about the wedding but it was beautiful and everything went as smoothly as could be expected). The couple comes and, lo and behold, they still have their children."
What would you do in this situation? Ignore the kids, and hope they don't totally ruin the most important day of your life? Or say something, and ensure your event goes exactly as you wanted it? Well, as you might have guessed by now, buildingtile did the latter.
"My event planner went to talk to the couple. I could tell they were arguing with my event planner though so I went over to help him ... I explained that I had actually sent him over to discuss the children," they wrote.
"The wife gave a sort of apology and then assured me that they were capable of minding their own children to make sure they didn’t get in the way of anything. I said that wasn’t really the point. That’s when my now-husband comes over and he and the other woman’s husband begin going back and forth and things got a little heated."
"Finally I snapped and said that they just needed to go, which, thankfully they did without much more noise. Still, the whole scene was incredibly embarrassing which is exactly what I wanted to avoid."
She continued:
"I really hate that my wedding day had to be somewhat marred by this incident. According to my mother, everyone was talking about it and I guess enjoying a little dramatic entertainment."
"Was I the a-hole for making them leave?"
Perhaps unsurprisingly, basically everyone was on her side.
The top comment reads: "Absolutely NTA [not the asshole] you stated it on the invitation and asked them politely first. I feel awful that a day that was meant to be the best of your life was tarnished by the event."
"NTA. You were clear and they ignored that," said another person. "Then they had the gall to make a scene at YOUR wedding. Good riddance. They sound like complete assholes."
Even other parents were taking her side.
"I have a baby. When I get invited to things like weddings, I scour the invitation and sometimes check in just to make sure it’s ok to bring the baby," said one Redditor. "If no babies are allowed, I get a sitter or don’t go. I would never think to impose on someone’s day like that."
If you sided with the parents, then - I'm sorry to break it to you - Reddit thinks you're an asshole. If you were on the bride's side all along, however, congratulations! You've won the right to be a little bit smug for about three seconds.
Either way, let this be a lesson to us all: if someone asks you not to bring your kids somewhere, don't bring your kids.
