A bridesmaid has recently sparked a debate online after a bride told her to wear a bra to her wedding.
Taking to Reddit's "Am I The A***ole" platform, a 23-year-old bridesmaid revealed that she was personally asked by her friend, Katie, to be part of her special day.
While the bridesmaid was honored to accompany her friend, she was left stunned when the 25-year-old privately messaged her with one urgent request, asking if OP could wear a bra under her tailored gown.
The bride's reasoning? Well, she didn't want her bridesmaid "to flash someone" on her wedding day.
The poster explained to the online advice forum that she doesn't wear bras because they're "uncomfortable" as well as the fact she has "small boobs," so "you can’t tell if I’m wearing a bra or not in most tops so when I can".
But, when Katie asked her not to free the nip at her nuptials, she was confused as the dress she was planning on wearing had full sleeves, therefore "You wouldn’t be able to tell as the material is also very thick".
Nevertheless, the bride wasn't having it as she obviously didn't want any free-boobing going on at her event, so she told OP to just "suck it up and wear a bra".
The bridesmaid concluded in her post that she found the request "weird invasive," adding: "You literally can’t tell if I had a bra on in the first place or not in that dress, and I’m sure no one over there is staring at my chest."
Many commenters weighed in on the post and shared their divided opinions.
The majority ultimately decided that the bridesmaid was in the wrong, as one person explained: "If she’s bringing it up, maybe it’s more noticeable than you think. Is this really a hill you want to die on? She’s not asking you to color your hair or hide tattoos. Is this worth threatening a friendship over?"
Another person shared their thoughts, writing: "You might not realize it, but it is noticeable if your sister is on Team Bra too. There are plenty of inexpensive, comfortable styles out there. Try not to make this all about you."
And that user wasn't alone in their thinking, as a third chimed in: "But you can tell. She knows you are not wearing bras, because she can see you're not. People who don't wear bras think no one can tell, but in reality, your nipples poke out and yes, everyone can tell."
"Bras suck, I don't wear them, I wear 'sports' tops/bralettes' and that solves all the problems," they continued. "It's her wedding, just try it. When you're married, you'll have something like that too with someone or something (possibly)."
Meanwhile, one user defended the bridesmaid's right to not wear a bra, explaining: "It’s not like your bare nipples are out, if anything they’ll just see them poke out a little, and if they care that much about a woman’s nipple poking through her shirt... that’s a them problem."
"Cause why do you care so much? Does this personally affect and hurt you? No. To me, I’d barely think anything of it. Just 'Oh okay' and move on. If anything just wear some pasties so no one can see (the horror! a nipple outline poking out! so obscene!) anything and call it a day," they added.
Someone else also shared a similar sentiment, penning: "THANK YOU. Trying to control how women’s bodies look is so disturbing. Because it’s not the appearance of the outfit, it’s people being able to perceive a part of OP’s body in that outfit. It’s such an icky ask. I don’t understand why it’s so normalized. Like, you getting married doesn’t make it reasonable. Sorry, not sorry."
The consensus seemed to be that while the bridesmaid may not notice her nipples, they might not be invisible to the wedding guests. So, one person offered a reasonable middle ground, sharing: "If it's that much of a burden to you, take it off after the ceremony and photos."
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