Having sex dreams will happen to most of us at some point, but have you ever wondered what they mean?
Sex dreams can be awkward, especially if they feature someone you know and you have no idea whether to tell them about it or not.
But they're nothing to be ashamed of, because you have no power over what your brain does while you're having a snooze.
That being said, they can be very intriguing, so what do the experts have to say?
What are sex dreams?
Psychologist Deirdre Leigh Barrett, author of The Committee of Sleep, explained to Women’s Health Magazine: "Dreams just don't observe those boundaries [that you'd follow in real life]."
According to Barrett, dreams can take you into unexpected territory, including sexual encounters with an ex, a co-worker, or even a friend.
But that doesn’t mean you secretly want to act on them — and it certainly doesn’t make you a bad partner.
Cheating dreams aren’t unusual.
A 2022 study by bedding company Amerisleep found that more than 20 per cent of women had dreamed about infidelity in the previous 12 months.
Dream expert Lauri Loewenberg, a member of the International Association for the Study of Dreams (IASD), has studied these patterns closely.
She explained: "In my research and experience helping my clients understand their cheating dreams, I have found the main reason you cheat in your dreams is because—deep down—you have guilt or concern about something you’re doing that is taking away from the time you should be putting into the relationship."
What your subconscious might be telling you
Barrett suggests that reflecting on the specifics of the dream can help uncover its meaning.
Did it feel like an ongoing affair or a one-off encounter?
What emotions were strongest? If similar feelings exist in your waking life, they may point to areas where you feel unfaithful to yourself or your values.
Loewenberg adds that cheating dreams often link to dissatisfaction in the relationship.
A lack of passion, unresolved guilt, or even a history of infidelity may fuel these subconscious scenarios.
"Cheating dreams are rarely about sex but are, more often, a brutally honest reflection of the dynamics within the relationship," she said.
"Infidelity can be traumatic and very difficult to heal from.
"Even if it has been years or decades since the transgression, the emotional scar often remains.
"This includes the scar of guilt with the transgressor."
What if you dream of being cheated on?
While some people dream of being unfaithful, others picture themselves as the one betrayed.
Loewenberg explained: "It’s often something your partner is giving their time and attention to that causes you to feel left out and ‘cheated’ out of that time you want with them."
This sense of being sidelined — whether by work, hobbies, or outside commitments — can manifest as a dream of infidelity.
How to deal with recurring cheating dreams
Experts agree that these dreams are a normal part of the subconscious processing of stress and emotion. Still, if they’re weighing on you, Barrett recommends being open about them.
"Talking about things in transparency and in an engaging way is the most helpful thing," she said.