An Australian mother has blasted a doctor after what she expected to be a routine six‑week post‑partum check‑up turned into an uncomfortable and inappropriate discussion.
Shelley Gray, a Queensland mum of two, went into the appointment believing it would focus on her recovery and her newborn daughter’s progress.
As a paediatric nutritionist, she knew what questions should be asked, and she expected a health check‑in that would reflect that.
“I thought the appointment would be about me. How my physical and mental health was going since giving birth just six weeks ago,” Gray told news.com.au.
“One question” on how she was – then birth control talk
Instead of the supportive, thorough check‑in she expected, Gray said the appointment barely scratched the surface of her wellbeing.
“I got one question asking how I was,” she revealed.
What followed left her and viewers stunned. The remainder of her visit, she says, focused on birth control options rather than her postpartum recovery.
Mum left stunned by doctor’s focus on husband’s stress
Shocked by the direction of the conversation, Gray took to TikTok to share what happened during the appointment. She said the doctor seemed more concerned about her husband’s adjustment to having another child than her own healing.
“He didn’t have a look at my tear and see how it was healing, didn’t even touch my stomach to see how everything was going,” she said.
Despite being the patient in front of him, Gray said the focus was elsewhere.
“He told me I should go on birth control, as I shouldn’t get pregnant again so soon. That my husband needs to be looked after,” Gray revealed.
According to Gray, the doctor’s comments went even further into personal territory.
“It was completely inappropriate, basically telling me I need to ‘service my husband’ and get back to our sexual relationship soon to help relieve his stress, with very little regard to whether I am ready for that after giving birth.”
Outrage online as mums share similar experiences
Gray said she was left “shocked and in disbelief” by the unsolicited advice, and after reflecting on the appointment she felt anger — not just for herself, but for other women who may be going through similar experiences.
“I was shocked and in disbelief. After some time reflecting I got angry about it. Not just for me, but for how many women would be experiencing conversations like that.”
While acknowledging that fathers’ mental health is important, Gray said there is a time and place for that conversation — and a first post‑partum check‑up is not it.
“I think support is needed for fathers, and maybe they should be encouraged to have their own check‑ups,” she argued.
“But we need to ensure that women feel supported at these check‑ups and can get referrals to the correct supports.”
TikTok clip goes viral with mum breaking down conversation
In the video titled “surely the doctor couldn’t be serious,” Gray explained to viewers exactly what unfolded during her appointment.
“He then proceeded to tell me that men have a really hard time when a baby comes home too, and they’re really stressed, cause they don’t sleep much overnight … and that I really should be looking after my husband during this time with what birth control would I like. We can join the dots there,” she said in the clip.
The response in her comments was swift and supportive, with many mothers relating to her experience.
“And THIS is why I only see female doctors,” one viewer wrote.
Another added: “I’m sorry this was your experience. You 100% deserved better.”
Several others shared similar stories of post‑partum care frustrations.
“I feel like this care is standard. My doctor never checked my scar,” one mum said.
“OMG I had this exact experience!” another revealed.