A mother has a special message for anyone telling parents to "enjoy every moment" with their children.
Parenting is a difficult job. Some days you question whether you are suited for the role, and then the next hour, you're out of that space. The journey is full of ups and downs... but, sometimes, it can feel like parents are not allowed to express that.
This plays into the sentiment from frustrated mom-of-two Hannah Findlay from New Zealand, who recently shared a thought-provoking video on social media.
The 36-year-old took to her Instagram page to address a message she keeps hearing from people about parenting - a message she wants to encourage people to stop saying.
Check out Findlay's post below:In the post, Findlay wrote: "Every time I leave the house at the moment I know it’s coming. The moment I inevitably lock eyes with someone (a random, usually well-meaning woman) who will utter the following in some form; 'Enjoy them while they’re little, it goes so fast!'"
"And every time it happens a little part of me dies because I just don’t have the heart to turn around and tell her that of course, I enjoy my little babies. They are my life. My heartbeat. My reason. My never-ending, all-encompassing love story… AND. I'm tired," she said.
Findlay continued by writing that she doesn't "need to be told to enjoy this time" because "I literally put my body on the line to make this dream of mine come true, there is no one more grateful than me for these kids".
She then questioned what she needs, which is "a soft rub on the shoulder and tell me I'm doing a good job" because she doesn't "hear that enough".
"Can we universally erase this phrase now? We get it. You've forgotten all the hard stuff and you miss the softness and smallness of your young kids now yours are grown… but we're still in it," she pleaded.
Instead, the mother had a different suggestion, writing: "Can we retire this 'enjoy every moment' and replace it with a shoulder rub? Please. A reminder that we are, in fact, doing a good job."
"That’s something I would not get sick of hearing. That’s something I need to hear more of. That’s something I need to remind myself of every day," she concluded.
Several users on the social media platform commented on Findlay's post to agree with her perspective.
One user wrote: "Thank you for sharing this! Couldn’t agree more with this… the amount of guilt I get when I hear that statement too … thank you for your honesty."
Another praised: "I couldn't agree more! And I'm totally going to remember. Even now I do with friends who have kids younger than me. None of the 'just wait until.....,' they are in a hard phase now, as am I, just a different hard phase x"
A third shared their own story, writing: "I still remember a sweet grandma I didn’t know, coming and standing with me while my little son had a meltdown on the grocery store floor. Not telling me he was spoiled, not telling me to enjoy it, just lifting me up, knowing I wasn’t alone meant everything to me.
"We really do need that community in the trenches with us. You are doing a wonderful job, beautiful mama."
Findlay spoke with Good Morning America about her post and said that she has spent time pondering on the phrase, now that she's a mom to a four-year-old daughter and a one-year-old son. She explained that motherhood has been hard for her and that she realized that her emotions are valid.
The mother also pointed out that the phrase "enjoy every moment" seems to only be reserved for motherhood, and not other life experiences either.
"You know, we don't enjoy life all the time," Findlay said. "We don't turn around to someone who's having a bad day and say, 'Oh well, enjoy life all of the time.' We don't do that. But we seem to want to say that to mothers."
