Relationships3 min(s) read
Reason more couples are trying ‘cuckolding’ sex trend - it's been explained
Cuckolding is a term that has likely popped up in your online feeds, but unless you’ve delved into the world of consensual non-monogamy (CNM), you might not be entirely sure what it involves.
As society becomes more open to a variety of sexual expressions, cuckolding has emerged as one of the more intriguing and misunderstood practices.
While the term historically carried a negative connotation, often associated with humiliation, today it represents a consensual and often exciting kink that many couples embrace to spice up their sex lives.
What is Cuckolding?
Cuckolding is fundamentally a form of consensual non-monogamy where one partner watches their significant other engage in sexual activity with someone else, per Cosmopolitan.
The person who observes this often gets aroused by the act itself, and this can take many forms, whether it’s being physically present during the encounter, receiving pictures or updates, or simply being told about the experience afterward.
As sex educator Gigi Engle explains, “Hotwifing” is a term widely used in the non-monogamous community to describe a specific type of relationship dynamic.
“While it is often considered a term used only in the swinger community, anyone in an open relationship or marriage with a penchant for kinky fun can utilise this phrase,” she says.
In this setup, the “hotwife” is the woman who enjoys intimate relationships with other men while her partner (the cuckold) watches or is made aware of these interactions.
In the world of cuckolding, the partner who watches, the "cuckold," might experience a sense of sexual jealousy, which for some is arousing in itself.
Psychosexual and relationship therapist Aoife Drury notes, “The thought of their partner being with someone else may be quite arousing,” pointing to how sexual jealousy can trigger intense emotions, adding another layer of excitement to the dynamic.
The "bull," the man with whom the cuckold's partner has sex, is often an essential part of the cuckolding setup.
While there are variations of cuckolding, the emotional and psychological dynamics are often similar.
“A cuckold is her partner — who often watches her be intimate with others or is told about it later. To be cuckolded means that you are a cis-man (usually) who is being ‘humiliated’ (again, usually) in a consensual way by his wife openly having sex with other men,” Engle explains.
Understanding Cuckolding as a Fetish
For many couples, cuckolding serves as an escape from the monotony of traditional sexual relationships.
By introducing sexual variety, it allows partners to explore new dynamics and fantasies that could enhance their bond.
As Drury observes: “It’s about seeing sexual satisfaction or empowerment from your partner and that being a turn-on. This actually has a name and is defined as compersion.”
Sexual satisfaction can also come from a sense of power exchange, and in some cases, humiliation might play a role.
Jill McDevitt, a sexologist, explains that the arousal that stems from “relinquishing power and being humiliated” can enhance the cuckolding experience, especially when viewed through a BDSM lens.
Cuckolding can intersect with BDSM practices, where humiliation is a central theme, adding a layer of erotic intensity for those who enjoy this form of consensual power play.